Nothing says isolation more than spending your birthday alone

[Deleted member 12723]

I wish you a belated Happy Birthday. We learn as we go and I am sorry that yours was so bad for you. I think making some plans in the future will help ease your pain. It does not help at all that the holidays are so fast apporaching. I will be alone on Christmas for the first time in my life and I am making plans to treat myself. I think this will help me so much. Losing a lot in my life right now and it is not easy. Hugs for you.

 

[Friday]

Wow. To me, that you had a friend take you out for a birthday dinner, and had people in your life -without prompting/reminding/inviting them out- spontaneously wish you happy birthday? Doesn't sound like isolation. It sounds like you're making solid connections with people.

It clearly wasn't what you wanted, didn't live up to your ideals, but that's a lesson learned; if you know what you want? Make it happen. (Including if you want someone else to do all the work for you; cultivating a relationship with someone who is willing to do that!)

My poor kid... My ex liked/likes huge parties. So I threw him one every year (even though I hate parties). First year we were divorced? No one showed up. Not because all of his friends started hating him... Because he didn't invite people! (Or do any of the rest of the work needed for a party.). So my kid suffered my exes rage/disappointment. It wasn't that his friends liked my ex, less. It's that my ex had no idea how much went into getting a large group of people together.

ETA. Whoops! Just caught the older date on this! <grin> Well, months to go for planning this year's celebration still to come! :)

 

[Adie]

Today is my birthday. And my story is exactly the same as yours. I'm been sitting alone in my room and eventually decided to Google, what to do and where to go when your birthday is ruined and you're alone. Sorry that your birthday sucked too. I know the feeling. Maybe better luck for us next year.

 

[Britt.f7]

Adie, Happy Birthday! Sorry you are alone.

 

[mary poppins]

This is probably one of my worst birthdays ever, and thats hard to top. I am spending it sitting...

I am new to this web site but not new to depression, suicide and all the crap that goes with it. I know there are many days when I hope someone will call me or say Happy birthday or that was a good idea etc. I am tired of the "I am busy" remark. Yes, I realize I don't have a life like so and so. The holidays are always very hard. No family says, "Hey lets get together on Dec. 24" until the last minute. This is all hard when you have to try to dig yourself out of your hole. Depending on how you are feeling, that may take minutes to days. I tried to commit suicide 2 years ago, but God had other plans for me. I should be dead. Literally God drove me home and I don't remember much except having a trach and Gastrostomy tube. and being on a vent for 10 days or so. Then having the trach for 2 months, suctioning myself. I have to say be brave and speak up for your needs. Things will get better. There will be ups and downs. Find a grain of good and plant it. Do something for someone however small. God will see it and honor it. Find a church that feels good and go from there. Love you as a friend.

 

[maria welch]

I spend my birthday alone every single year because no one gives a shit. It sucks but oh well.

 

[Kpoppp]

This is probably one of my worst birthdays ever, and thats hard to top. I am spending it sitting...

At least theres a friend who remember your birthday, none of what i called "friend" remembered my birthday and i didnt even have any money to buy gift for myself...

Way worse than you

 

[joeylittle]

Way worse than you

I don't think it's a competition. Birthdays can be incredibly painful and triggering for a lot of us.

 

[Stickler]

I don't want people to remember my birthdays. I am too ashamed of myself to celebrate.

 

[unknowndddd]

It's my birthday today and like any other year ,nobody cares.
To be fair though,I kind of made a success of it last year. I went to the pub by myself and it ended up with half of the place buying me drinks and wishing me happy birthday. One of those rare instances I guess ,they were all mostly strangers but an acquaintance had popped in ,seen me and wished me a fleeting happy birthday,cue : rest of the pub joining in.
I was really touched and thankful but this year is just depressing . I asked friends for time today,but yeah not gonna happen.
Mum came round very briefly this morning on her way to a good old knees up round the pubs and bars to drop off this half assed soap thing that she knows ill never use ,and then she was gone . She was itching to go so I didn't bother to prolong any conversation and she couldnt get out of the door and to the bar with her friends fast enough .I know it sounds ungrateful but I'd rather have had no soap and an invitation out (I'd have even paid for the drinks) . I know nobody wants to see me on my birthday ,and I've now hidden my b day on Facebook etc.
I like to make a fuss of other people's birthdays but I know that nobody cares about mine.

 

[Bri Sanchez]

It's my birthday today I'm spending it Alone 2 this is the worst day I've ever had my boyfriend isn't answering his phone my parents are at the beach my sister's at work my friends said they're all busy but I found out on their Snapchat story they're watching Netflix I'm crying my eyes out I'm alone and no one cares

 

[Stickler]

:hug: Bri. Be kind to you, hon. You can always make the choice to care about you, and that's always a good choice.