Is is possible that I have CPTSD?

Lost in the Woods said:

Yes. My mother was a violent alcoholic who eventually committed suicide. CPTSD is at the root of all my issues. It is good to dive in early while you still have your life ahead of you. You can save yourself a lot of grief by studying attachment theory as that is where CPTSD from childhood abuse or neglect seems to really cause us grief in relationships. Good luck, you are wise beyond your years.

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Mage said:

Hello,
I have never posted on a forum before, and I apologize in advance if this is way too long but I am desperate for someone to understand what I’m going through. I am a young adult who lives with my parents. Due to work changes I moved out of my apartment and back home.
A little backstory, my mother is an alcoholic. She has been in rehab but that was three years ago and she's mostly kept up with the habit. There are times when she doesn't drink for periods of time then times when she does a lot. She has been drinking since I was ten, I am twenty-four now. I moved out two years ago, cutting all contact with her because she was manipulative, she would gaslight, and channeled all of her anger, and insecurities onto me despite her telling me over and over again not to give up on her. I spent two years in therapy, and I did get better and eventually I was able to have a semi-relationship with my mom. I was happy that she (supposedly) understood where I was coming from. As I said earlier, I moved back home because I trusted that I had a safe place to be while I tried to pursue a career that was more fulfilling.
Then back in November 2025, my mother and I had been talking about childhood trauma (which was a mistake on my end) and she actually told me, “Well maybe all the stuff that you experienced wasn’t really my fault.” I couldn’t believe she said that, but instead of getting mad, I went for a drive to get some separation from her and clear my head. I came back an hour later, and she cornered me in my room so I had nowhere to go and she screamed at me. She was very drunk at the time, and I finally stood up for myself because I had never done that before and I was done but then she breaks down, crying, and hyperventilating. I got angry at her for that. I cried a lot that night. When she sobered up, she kept apologizing but I didn’t believe it. However I forgave her because I wanted to move on. These are events that have been happening for a long time, her getting drunk, yelling at me, then apologizing when the next day comes.
Things were okay, she took a break from drinking and I was happy with that. Then yesterday, she bought this bottle of wine and for reasons I don’t fully understand, it sent me into a panic attack. I was able to stay calm, share a few words of conversation with her before going into my room, locking the door, and hiding under my desk (I felt like a kid again). I cried hard, and I had trouble breathing while I was trying to rationalize that nothing had even happened but that I knew where wine leads to. Now I'm on the complete edge, my heart skips a beat, my hands get sweaty, and I feel dizzy every time I see her or talk to her even though she hasn’t been rude or belittling. I feel like I’m going crazy and feel somewhat guilty for feeling these things, so I have to ask, could this be symptoms of PTSD or CPTSD? (I am sorry again for how long this is, and if this forum isn’t for long posts, I just wanted to get it out there.)
Thank you for reading.

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Survivor3 said:

It could be symptoms of ptsd or cptsd but you need a professional to diagnose that. My dad was a violent and abusive alcoholic and I have a history of complex trauma, depression and anxiety but no ptsd. People can all experience the same trauma but only a few may develop ptsd, others not. You can make posts as long as you like, hopefully with gaps and paragraphs so it's easier to read.

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Mage said:

I suppose I wanted to know if there was marit behind how I am reacting in the event that I should contact a professional about this. I

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Muttly said:

Let's suppose that you don't have PTSD. You are reacting as you are, for a reason. You are struggling and trying to get help. That gives it merit. Even if you are never diagnosed. To be absolutely clear, I'm not saying that. Most of us start this processes by wondering if we have PTSD (or some other disorder). It's a necessary part of the journey. A huge step forward in that journey is when you start finding support (here, with a therapist, etc) and start working on how to heal and manage your symptoms. I'm sorry you have to go through this journey, but you aren't alone and can find ways to make your life better.

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Survivor3 said:

It could be symptoms of ptsd or cptsd but you need a professional to diagnose that.

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EveHarrington said:

Regardless of the actual diagnosis, it sounds like you are suffering from the effects of an alcoholic mother. It took me a long time to work through my issues around alcohol (growing up around an alcoholic). I don’t drink, and prefer to be around others who don’t drink, but I’ve finally healed to the point where I can be around alcohol in a casual setting. I’ve seen the damage it does, and even newer studies are showing that binge drinking (4+ drinks in one setting) are correlated with dementia later in life. I saw this play out in my alcoholic grandmother who quit drinking decades before I was even born.

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