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I haven't felt this dysregulated in a while. I'm feeling overwhelmed with the lockdown, and I'm continuing to work which has been stressful. Also, my landlord keeps "forgetting" to cash my rent checks. It makes me think that he's trying to get rid of me. Maybe he'll claim that I was...

I have a tendency to "fix" people too. I also tend towards intellectualizing as a way of coping. I learned being on here and in therapy that I have codependent tendencies as well. Your focus on saving your fried might be an indication that you could have those tendencies as well. I think a big...

I'm late to the show here, but for a while, I didn't think the pandemic affected me deep down. But I've been saying to friends and family how surreal things are. I have to admit that the pandemic has added a layer to the "cup", and my own trigger is the sense that there is an uncertain, vague...

I'm still not 100% over my ex bf that I broke up with two years ago. It's not intense, and it's getting better, but I'm surprised how much the break up lingered for me. He wasn't as "bad" as your ex, but I think the reason for my being still stuck a little is because he kicked up some old...

Thanks @grit! It's a point of view that I've come to believe in that I don't see often expressed. So I just wanted to keep that on people's radar. Thanks for your thoughts on this topic.

@grit, it sounds like your approach is not too different from mine. As I said in my original post, I do think it's important to express our anger and address it. But as you suggest, it is a false dichotomy to believe that one either has to keep quiet or explode. For me, those are actually two...

I just wanted to add that being avoidant is a very common reason people lie, but without being able to trust that someone will be truthful, I think that makes it hard to maintain a relationship. My T says that truth, especially hard ones, bring people closer together. Falsehoods cause people to...

I totally agree with this, @Annalyn78. I thought that my post was saying what you're saying. My push back would be that if we think of anger as something that is fixed and boils over if not expressed, then we have to worry about "suppression." In my experience, I only felt that when I was in the...

I posted a thread that got a lot of replies a while back about anger. I feel pretty strongly that folks with ptsd should not use it as an excuse to target toxic anger onto others. The people who deserve our anger is our abusers, but we often cause our partners and children suffering by directing...

I think "denial" is the wrong word. Maybe dissociative? I don't think I've ever had the experience where my very perceptual ability didn't work. I would have distorted feelings about myself in the mirror, etc. Maybe in time, as you heal, you can integrate that side?

Wow, I find that fascinating. Does this bother you? It seems like you can note this denial with an objective perspective.

Thanks for your perspective, @dcb2410. Really, your posts are encouraging and supportive. I also am reminded that it's not just for me, but for the relationship that I need to communicate needs. That's a good reminder, @Friday. Sometimes my bf doesn't always say and do the right things...

I think that's good advice,@Annalyn78. To add to that, if you can take baby steps in discussing your feelings with your bf, it makes the healing real and not just in your head. I've found that by telling my bf about insecurities/triggers, etc., I feel more peace in the world and have far less...

Hi @Miss_Basilisk. I have two thoughts: 1. I think sex always complicates things, no matter what the actual status of the relationship is. I think choosing to be friends with someone you've had/are having sex with always brings up complications. 2. I think your confusion over whether it's...

Thanks for responding, @Friday. I feel like I'm hijacking this thread. But I wanted to say that you are typically really responsive and thoughtful about what you write, so no, I don't think all of your posts are lacking in sympathy, and I don't think it was fair to attribute your approach as...

@Friday, I think overly indulging someone's pain can enable behaviors that are destructive to self and others. In fact, I think that's actually the number one reason how abusive people justify their abuse - they are in such pain that they have to "fight back." But they didn't really mean to be...

I think @Aviendha should take feedback for sure. But @Friday, if you're open to some feedback too, sometimes I feel your comments are lacking in sympathy as well. We're not just problems to be figured out, but have feelings which have all too often have been trampled on. In my opinion feelings...

Thanks all. After my last post, I unintentionally/intentionally avoided checking for replies. This matter is so triggering that it felt risky just thinking about getting replies. Yes, I've been in therapy for decades. I think it's helpful to think about this in terms of seeing the positive and...

I agree that I jumped to an extreme conclusion. I've been thinking about what that says about my attitude. I think for me, love leaves me feeling quite exposed and even endangered. I know that sounds dramatic, but I've learned about myself that it's one of the most challenging issues for me. So...

Thanks @bellbird. I do think a valid consideration is that maybe I should not be in a relationship, not until I've figured myself out or maybe not ever. But I've been going by the idea that I can try to work on myself and on a relationship at the same time. In fact, there has been so much I've...

I can theoretically talk about love and a part of me puts a lot of stock in it. But in practice, I feel like there are some fundamental pieces missing inside my soul. I am so drained from today, but actually NOTHING happened. But I had a full on drama in my head of my own making that has left me...

I totally relate to this. I wish I could say that once you learn your lesson, you won't make the same mistake, but I do this over and over again with my boyfriend. I also do not usually care if anyone else is slow to respond to my texts. But when I don't get a text from my boyfriend when I...

Hi @Friday, could you elaborate how this could help? Wouldn't I be bringing negative attention to myself which is my fear? @Sideways, I think I can be pretty nutty when I post here since I'm often triggered. I actually cringe at a lot of things I post here. But there are several factors that...

Thanks for your response, @Autumn Breeze. I can relate to the discomfort you're expressing about having stuff about you revealed and discussed. I think I differ in how I understand that discomfort. For me, I think it's a psychological reaction to being "exposed" and the insecurity about being...

I wanted to see if anyone could relate and help me better cope. I get anxious about posting on social media. I don't post often, but I sometimes feel the need/desire to share, but if I do post, I am immediately seized with anxiety and self-consciousness. I feel exposed and I worry about how many...