Search results

Question: My T mentioned a 100 question rating scale for dissociative identity. Does anyone know what it's called??

Tomorrow morning, it will begin. The dysregulation from rapidly increased anxiety. Tomorrow I have my appt with my T. After that, I'm seeing one of my closest friends before she departs to warmer weather until spring. And every year for 5 years my heart breaks but this year it seems especially...

And I'm lucky that my T gets it.

Although I am ashamed, I can say when the younger ones do come around, it's usually with innocent fun like any young child. So, it's not terrible but as an adult, it isn't as socially acceptable.

Yes, I was under the desk as she walked in..

I'm not sure what to think about my appt today. My young parts decided to pay a visit as well and thought it would be funny to hide from my T. She does her thing and allows me to sit in her office and wait. Today though, very last minute, my young parts decided to hide under her desk away from...

It's been awhile since my dx of DID/inability to hide from my T. Several more recent trauma has happened opening pandora's box. Please know I am working with my parts to maybe once live in harmony. I am not looking to integrate them and that's triggering. I try hard to be present/grounded when...

I have a variety of doctors I see. Past experiences have made it so my pcp treats only medical with basic knowledge of my psych history. I try respectively to keep the boundaries. But I'm speaking for me. The only provider who is aware of all my mental health and medical history. That's because...

For so many reasons. My husband's parents have been deceased over 10 years. Sad, yes. But, I pay the price. He's sad, jealous and doesn't like going to my parents. So, it's always tense and he hasn't spoken with me all day and I try to support him but doesn't matter. So, as many families are...

The dissociation, anxiety, depression, OCD and exhaustion are in that hypervilagace state daily and worse at work. But, I'm supposed to be able to work 5 days a week of which I don't. I'm not certain my T knows how much work I miss. To make matters worse, I'm being harassed and targeted at my...

I'm tortured at this point, inside and out. I feel so alone, trapped between different worlds. If I made it to work, I listen to the mean parts tell us all day long how unimportant we are, robotic/invincible mode because it doesn't matter at all how gets the work done, as long as it gets done. I...

I'm being wisped away into another part. Today marks an anniversary of something I will never forgive myself for. It was by far the worst thing as a person, mom, and what I used to do at work. It was a total "accident" but for me it won't ever matter. I have detached myself from so so much and I...

Yes, its similar to what I think. Having DID, some parts know the rational and are able to put ourselves in her position but the ones who don't think like that and I'm Borderline so I have attachment issues. That hour, although difficult, allows some relief because at least someone else knows...

Pouring rain, dark sky and every ounce of me did not want to go to work. Even knowing it's only half a day. But I did. And now my T cancelled. Not her fault. But for me, I'm even more depressed and hopeless. I wanted to talk about the meeting tomorrow that I have to sit thru with other parents...

Thank you. I'm unable to find words to capture what my world is like. I'm not certain if I'll get up tomorrow and go to work. I have DID if it wasn't obvious so each part has their way to understand/process it. I can ground myself to the point of exhaustion. Redirect all day long slipping into...

It's so strange to try and explain but I'll try. Thinking in such literal terms: everyday is broken down into blocks of time with some incentive to make it till the next. Although helpful its extremely exhausting and has made me feel even more detached from everything. There are times that I...

This has to be noted- my Dr. was the best throughout the entire appt so it had nothing to do with the complications that arose. It was so awful though. The yearly exam with a "minor" procedure included. I don't need to go over every detail because its not the point and not necessary. What I can...

Hi, After the meeting I was due to go back to work but I took a drive and wrote in my journal. I did make it back to work but didn't do much. I'll be ok until the next meeting. Thank you for responding☺

Disclaimer- my parts are especially active so I'll do my best. Spent yesterday's session preparing for this morning's meeting. That it was not ok to choose to dissociate and the reasons why. Made perfect sense to some but impossible for others. Because my husband and I met with the people in...

Tomorrow I dread. A meeting about a topic that has layers upon layers of triggering emotions. The topic? My daughter and the multiple sexual assaults she with many other kids fell victim to at a community place. This along with so much more has swept the rug right under me and more often than...

Technically on paper it says I have a supervisor but in reality, no I don't. He. Yes, he leaves me out of everything. Doesn't communicate and doesn't want to hear anything I have to say. He dismisses me, always has to be right and never answers the question. So, no I can't talk with him about...

My husband loves me very much. But, the way his brain and mine work is so different. He thinks in more simplistic terms more around solid facts. I on the other hand think in terms of emotion and past experiences. And, I have DID, Borderline Personality, PTSD, GAD, MDD, hx eating disorder. I do...

What adds to everything is no one knows I have DID and I will never admit it. The stigma is real and can never be untold. I also have BPD so I trust little to no one because people have left no matter how much they say they love me. And every so often some parts get the feeling that we're...

It's bad. Constantly living in both the past and present is exhausting and the loneliness at times is unbearable. Lately I've been trying to find some meaning to find a reason to continue. I honestly don't know how others do it. I'm trying to learn how to organize my parts so it's a little less...

My a hole boss being number one. He doesn't and will never have my back. He's chauvinistic, degrading and I dislike and avoid at all costs. I am in the midst of discovering hidden trauma from my past if that sums it up. Hell. What do others do when working especially when doing trauma work..?