Robotic way of living

[Punky143]

It's so strange to try and explain but I'll try. Thinking in such literal terms: everyday is broken down into blocks of time with some incentive to make it till the next. Although helpful its extremely exhausting and has made me feel even more detached from everything. There are times that I wonder about the interactions between humans, question why. It only feeds the isolation and furthers the belief that we don't need anyone. I have more of an explanation but somehow my mind is blank...

 

[Recovery4Me]

I found that often my dissociation (when in gear) produces the detached feeling from life. I too, at times work in time-blocks to get through the day. It is a technique that although effective is for me very surreal as well as stilted.

However, I also find the word “need” with respect to relationships or people seems to appear when I am ruminating or over processing due to pain or a sense of emptiness. Yet, this board, has allowed me to understand the difference between that of loneliness and that of being alone. Perhaps, in time with extending as you did with this thread... you will feel heard a tad and the word “need” will not be a crux of thought. Together we are strong.

Peace be with you.

 

[Punky143]

Thank you. I'm unable to find words to capture what my world is like. I'm not certain if I'll get up tomorrow and go to work. I have DID if it wasn't obvious so each part has their way to understand/process it. I can ground myself to the point of exhaustion. Redirect all day long slipping into my head probably more than I know. My body literally aches and I get frequent migraines. The only way to survive right now is do for others and hope one day I can have time. I feel worthless and invincible. And this is how I feel everyday. It's complicated.

 

[Recovery4Me]

No, it was not obvious to me that you have DID but thank you for sharing. I just have similar feelings and wanted to respond.

I often hold extremes in tangent as I inch towards the invisible center of the wise mind. Luckily I found some DBT rigmarole that makes this Ok in today’s mainstream. :p So perhaps your ‘complicated’ of worthlessness and invincibility is right on time for emotional regulators within radical acceptance. < hope this assisted in an grin. Have a nice day.:)