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That was sort of my point, nobody can keep it alive if the other person isn't invested or wanting it right then and there, hence supporters "power" tends to be in terminating it, they generally always want it to continue but have very little control over that, hence they have almost total say in...

I'd reiterate @grimalkin's point there, from my experience, the state of and the future of your relationship generally is entirely down to them, unless of course we're talking terminating it (in which case you can have a say). Any sort of positive outcome really is at their behest and that is...

Unfortunately my views are based off being subjected to it and as somebody who has suffered the consequences of isolating myself from others (via OCD perhaps, but isolation all the same), it's an entirely personal thing and I am sure there's those who aren't bothered by it and just pick up where...

You absolutely are doing the right thing there. I still love my ex, I still miss what we had, but I also recognised her capacity to really contribute something to my life. She wants to be my friend but, she barely responds, has her abusive friend (for all I know theres way more there than that)...

Sadly my tough approach comes from the negative experience I've had with my now ex girlfriend. Isolating is a big coping mechanism for many people with many conditions, this isn't to say it will be easy for him to regulate that and work on it, it'll take a lot of effort and a lot of willpower...

I would absolutely 100% not message him. It'll come across as harsh but if he's ruminating that he's left it too long that is his problem, you said you're giving him space, you need to stick true to your word, if he wants to create further hurdles to prevent getting in touch that is honestly...

Best way to do it, let it flow and what will be, will be. He has actually responded in a very positive manner, don't worry if he forget the call either, he acknowledged that you understood he needed his space and you were still there for him, that's a huge step.

Glad you've got some better news, let's see how it goes :)

I'll be honest, you don't sound very happy and this sounds like a very one sided relationship which is entirely about her and her foibles, that isn't going to work long term, there has to be give and take on both sides not just give on one and take on the other. You need to really think about...

A lot of this sounds very familiar. My now ex and I were deeply in love for over ten years, then all of a sudden it's over and she goes off to spend all her time with a manipulative and abusive man who 100% has feelings for her (I have no evidence she was unfaithful but the premise of vanishing...

Spot on. This is why I call her my ex now, there is some confusion and ambiguity, but its easier to just say "for now we are over, let's just work with that as the reality". If anything happens down the line we'll come to it when we get to it.

I think the big thing between me and my ex was, I'd experienced her what I'd call "PTSD Minor" where she was partly symptomatic but it was short and easier to handle and we kept plodding along just fine, but this episode is her "PTSD Major" and that's what's made us come undone, I just had no...

Just to add, my advice is from experience, I kept pushing, I kept texting, I kept trying to reignite the contact (We spoke daily for years, it was so odd not to) and it didn't help, she just ignored me more and I just felt absolutely awful every single day because it was all about whether we...

I suggest you stop texting and calling, I know that is hard but hear me out. He's isolating, he wants to be alone, he will cut out things that cause him stress and annoyance, right now you're one of those things, the more you push, the more he is going to isolate himself from you. You're...

Be angry with her, let yourself feel that emotion, too often we make ourselves feel guilty for being angry at them because we feel it is wrong because they have their condition. You have every right to feel anger (all of you do and you should), it's healthier to let yourself feel that and get it...

Yeah, same again here, my ex would go out and spend time constantly with another friend (who is abusive), would talk to MY friends as if nothing was really wrong and she was 100% fine, but I got the double barrels. Obviously "ex" may not fill you with confidence but I would say it seems to be a...

I understand @Adm13, as much as my ex is my ex I still love her, we still talk, I completely get how emotions can take over the rational side of our brains, it's why I come here and talk to people, it stops me falling down the well again. I understand how you feel, my ex often escalated and...

This is why people keep pointing out the importance of setting boundaries and establishing what both of you want from a relationship. Clearly, you want some support and acknowledgement of your accomplishments and you absolutely need to communicate that, you're not being unreasonable wanting him...

OCD (Pure-OCD) is typified by unwanted, upsetting intrusive thoughts, that is what I have, it could be worth reading up on that, it's quite possible you may have developed this alongside your PTSD, if you have a therapist or access to one it's worth investigating with them.

I know this may not be what you want to hear, but I agree with @Friday. You don't seem good together, you evidently do not trust him any more and I don't think you ever will as things stand right now, it's impacting on your mental health in a very bad way and that should be your priority, YOU...

Spot on @grimalkin, you absolutely have to consider what life with them will be like. This whole episode with my ex really opened my eyes, she's had ptsd for many years but never ever did her faith and love waver and disappear, she never doubted it once. Now she's like half the person I knew...

@lostforgottensoul My ex did tell me I can't be held responsible for how she interprets things, which I appreciated... the problem is, it's fine her saying that, but when she thinks these things she acts like they're reality and DOES hold me responsible for them, she treats me as though they're...

I understand that @Hojay, I'm the same, I am so sad that my ex has changed so radically into somebody I can barely recognise, it pains me she gave up on a love she held for over a decade seemingly so easily, that she prefers to just cut it all off and lock it away and forget about us. It is...

This, this, this. My ex made up her own interpretations of my actions and words and came up with such bizarre conclusions based on the most innocuous of things (made a FB post joking about being alone on V-Day, so it was a date with wine for me, she decided this meant I wanted wine more than a...

Yeah, don't get me wrong, I understand WHY it may affect the way somebody answers etc, but for me I'd definitely respond better to "I am having a PTSD moment" than some confused ramble which sends mixed messages that only torture me as I go over them in my head.