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I know you're right. I can hear my girls playing in the other room. I don't want them to see me like this. I hate this so much.

I'm trying, thank you.

It has been 20 years since I was raped. I just happened to see my attacker in a photo on Facebook, friends with someone from college. I am having a full blown panic attack, feel like I can't breathe, just like I did the first time I ran in to him on campus after it happened. I shouldn't feel...

I think it's wonderful and I am glad you have found someone who is sensitive to you and your feelings. Reclaiming your life is empowering and takes great courage. :happy:

I think if it would bring you healing and closure, expecting nothing in return, then you should strongly consider it. But if it will bring you pain or added anxiety, then I don't think it is worth it. Maybe you should consider starting by writing him a letter, let it all out what you think you...

I myself am a Christian and God has taken horrible things that happened in my life and used them for good. With that being said, I understand and respect those who struggle with how can a loving God allow bad things to happen. @sonicwhite , I am glad you are allowing God to use that incident, to...

I felt this way on Friday. Full of anger, feeling unappreciated and criticized for everything I did. When I finally burst into tears and allowed myself to feel it all, the causes, the hurt the anger subsided. I hope you are able to work through the anger. It is exhausting.

Sometimes I just step out on my porch, feel the sun on my face, the breeze, close my eyes and take a deep breathe and exhale. Even if just for a moment, it brings me peace. As a child, it was the night sky. I would lay down on the stairs outside my condo and look up at all the stars. It...

I pick at my lower lip, to the point I bleed. Sometimes it's because I am in deep thought or other times it's due to stress. I don't do it all the time, but often enough. I think it is compulsion, but I am certainly no expert.

I am learning to live in the moment myself. If I try to plan more than the day, I get overwhelmed and feel like a complete failure. I am doing my best to make those moments in between matter, whether it's reading my daughter a book or being able to work a full day. Some days are merely...

I wish I had some wonderful answers for you but it is a fine art of juggling. Seriously though, school and two kids, please give yourself some credit! I know how it feels to think everyone is judging you. I have missed so much work, between my kids being sick and medical issues myself, the...

It's definitely a good idea to speak with your psychiatrist. Whether it's ptsd or not, you have been traumatised by this person's actions, none of which is your fault. There is hope for healing and dealing with your anger and fears. You do belong and are most welcomed here. It takes great...

As a child, I over achieved, trying to be perfect as to get attention from my parents. They had their own issues, so I felt pretty much on my own. They never abused me but I don't feel like they were there for me either. As for my career, I picked it as a result of the trauma in my life, feeling...

@ptsdspouse2b the fact that you and your man are putting so much thought and intent in to parenting shows what great parents you will be. It is just like any relationship in life, the more you put in the effort, the better the relationship. If only every child had parents that cared so much and...

It is so easy to feel defeated and get weary of the fight. But you have nothing to be ashamed about. You survived and opened yourself to love, yes this is something to be proud of but be gentle with yourself. Years of trauma takes years of healing. It's okay to take time to grieve and self...

Rape is all about power and control. This man sounds sadistic, continuously terrorizing you. You have absolutely done nothing wrong or anything to deserve this horrific taunting. I cannot tell you what to do but it wasn't until I stood up to my rapist that I truly began to heal. It was the most...

I can see how this is a very difficult decision for you. I don't think you should base this on how your boyfriend may or may not react which is completely out of your control. If you are comfortable with him and want to share the detail, you shpuld do so. To be honest, my assault was 20 years...

@ptsdspouse2b , I have learned to trust my instincts as a parent, to truly listen to my daughters when they are talking and sharing their feelings and to be honest with them about my strengths and weaknesses. I tried to tell my Mom I was being molested when I was a child, but she didn't get...

I know setting boundaries can sometimes be difficult, especially with family but you are important and need to put yourself first. I was told by a family member to get over it, as if I am not trying already. I don't believe anyone can possibly understand completely how you feel because they did...

My daughters bring me joy, despite a past of hurt and heartache. I am fiercely protective of them, which I'm sure is due to my childhood. They know they are loved, can trust and feel safe. This has truly healed part of my soul.

My dad wasn't able to be around much when I was younger but I always knew his love was with me. Happy Birthday to your precious girl. :hug:

I've used a poetry book myself, more imagery that I've been comfortable with to deal with my trauma memories and feelings.

Hello @streisand14 . I've been here just a few weeks myself and have been overwhelmed by the insight, compassion and encouragement of our fellow members. There is no shame or judgement here. Sounds like you are making many positive strides towards healing and moving forward in a very positive...

Raising my daughters, I couldn't agree with you more @RussH . The human body, both male and female is beautiful but when objectified, I think it sends the wrong message, especially to young people.

My first serious boyfriend ended up being abusive and controlling. I didn't want to see it either, until it was too late. I had a pregnancy scare with him and he ran for the hills. Please don't put yourself down by being charmed or loving this person. I believe bad relationships help up grow...