Sexual Assault Just Saw My Attacker, Can't Breathe

[shrinkingviolet]

It has been 20 years since I was raped. I just happened to see my attacker in a photo on Facebook, friends with someone from college. I am having a full blown panic attack, feel like I can't breathe, just like I did the first time I ran in to him on campus after it happened. I shouldn't feel like this after all this time. I faced him a year after, told him exactly what he did to me and even forgave him to get rid of the hate in my heart. I've done therapy several times but oh my God, I feel like I'm19 again and I can't breathe......

 

[adriftatsea]

Just continue to breathe and remember that you're safe! You can't help the way your body is reacting. When you're feeling better, maybe try to block him on facebook so you don't have to see him again or ask somebody you trust to block him for you on your facebook.

 

[PlainJane]

@shrinkingviolet. Try to take deep breadths. Think positive thoughts. "I am strong, I am kind, I will not be stuck with this." All true statements. As @adriftatsea says you are safe, repeat that to yourself.

 

[shrinkingviolet]

I'm trying, thank you.

 

[sun seeker]

I'm so sorry. I know what panic-induced shortness of breath is, been having lots of that lately myself. Try yawning, it will help you feel like you are getting enough air.

And ground. It's not happening now. Now is 2015, you are 20 years older. Look around you, feel your feet on the floor. And keep posting. You'll get through this.

 

[shrinkingviolet]

I know you're right. I can hear my girls playing in the other room. I don't want them to see me like this. I hate this so much.

 

[shrinkingviolet]

Yawning is helping. Thank you @sun seeker

 

[sun seeker]

They'll be all right. When it's over, you can explain to them that something scared Mom but it wasn't about them and you're okay now.

Focus on the sound of them playing to remember that you are in the present.

Now, you need to focus on you. How is the yawning going?

 

[adriftatsea]

Just continue to focus on your breathing, try focusing on listening to your girls, and like sunseeker said, remember that you're 20 years older now and just keep repeating the positive thoughts and that you're safe. :hug::hug:

 

[sun seeker]

Yawning is helping.

Great.

 

[sun seeker]

How are you doing now @shrinkingviolet?

 

[PlainJane]

Once when I was in an extreme panic I somehow mustered the courage to reach out. The person told me to think positive and gave me those statements. At the time I did not believe them and I thought she was nuts for telling me to repeat it to myself in the state I was in. But it counteracted my feelings of dread, worthlessness and so on that come with the panic. I still don't believe those statements at times, but I catch them at unexpectedly beautiful days. As you will. @sun seeker love the yawning thing that's going in my pocket. So keep the positive going even though it may seem irrelevant, you will see them on your own unexpected beautiful day. They are valid and we see them in your postings. You will get through this :)