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Not trying to whine but therapy has been really tough - I want to move on and I can’t seem to figure out how to just leave well enough alone. My adoptive father was really inappropriate (he taught me how to masterbate and did other stuff) - I didn’t stop him or think it was wrong- then I had...

A common thread during therapy sessions is ongoing stressful situations and how I manage. I tend to do a lot around my house and with our family upkeep. My therapist keeps referring to my doing everything which I challenge. Anyway also work full time. My T references that “we” are not living in...

I asked my T if she purposely triggered me during our sessions or if in our talking that we touched upon something and then I would be triggered. I was frustrated because the week prior I left my appt. in a rough place. I had felt triggered and wasn’t very grounded as I left. She was SO quick to...

Hard night after last therapy session -didn’t sleep well and had dreams of repeated suicide attempts and getting away with it. It was so detailed and clear. My SI hasn’t been strong in some time but in my dream it was so real. I have flashbacks at night and this wasn’t that although I did wake...

Sorry this is not a nice post. I think sometimes a little knowledge can make things harder. My anxiety is high. On one hand I can’t settle down and on the other I don’t want to do anything I have to do. Is this anxiety? Is this depression? Is this PTSD? Does it even matter? I can’t seems to...

I have found this website/forum very helpful and validating. There is an incredible network of support - my experience has been very positive. I have not told my therapist that I have looked up stuff online or regularly post/contribute on this site. Does it matter and do others share this...

We (family and I) have too much stuff in our house. We really do and I am not just saying that! - we do a great job of stuffing and hiding when we need to. My husband and I have been a bit anti-social so we haven't done the "stuff and hide" in months. The clutter is taking over. I took another...

I have been more anxious than usual and at these times when in therapy I am triggered more easily and then dissociate. I think I know what is going on but when I dissociate I loose the moment, my mind goes I don't know where. The words have no meaning and it is super frustrating because I have...

i am tough as nails right now. I want to break down and cry or something and I have nothing- still years and I can't shed a tear yet I have so many reasons too. I had an incredibly hard day and somehow it has just put me in this mode of no emotion - go through the motions- and be disconnected...

Not sure if I am getting worse in my ability to deal and maybe I have just overthought things too much. I had a rough time this weekend. I am not trying to complain and I am sorry if this comes across the wrong way. Even though I have a colorful past- fortunately it has not really affected my...

Trying to sort out what happened. I was away for the weekend and we had a family trip to the beach. I was walking along the beach and at some point I lost myself. I was done swimming and basically all dried off. I know plenty of time went by and I "came back" to me swimming in the ocean. And I...

Everyone is different but I am struggling with the concept of marriage being a 50/50 partnership. Is that really how people view it? For years and now I have seen myself as not as important, my ideas & thoughts not as valueable as my partner. In T we (t and I) are exploring my belief around not...

i hate this roller coaster I am on and what really bothers me is that I know what I need to do and yet I can't do it. How many times do I need to do the same stuff? I know I need to speak up but I get stuck. I have had some tough times but I have been working through it and I should be way over...

I probabaly should have seen this coming. I struggled at different points because I wasn't told of my official diagnosis (even though I was given some handouts to help me with PTSD) we spoke about my dissociative episodes and I had issues early on being considered depressed (even though I...

i found myself in front of the television watching a few minutes of a movie my husband had on. I very rarely watch TV or movies. I am very cautious about what I hear on the radio too. My challenge is how to make it though. When I try to watch something it always stirs up emotions for me so far...

3 steps forward and 3 steps back. I thought I was doing so well and now I am sure I am fooling myself. My T says I spend a lot of time managing my emotions. I don't really get it. It is hard for me when I talk with her because I do have some emotion. I always told her I was not emotional - she...

Finances can be a touchy subject and I should have no issue but I screwed this up too. In some respects I was making overall progress but what an idiot I am to think it could last. If only I could cry I would be sobbing. I screwed up and didn't pay our car tax which was sent to an attorney who...

I am not sure what to think. Each T session is hard and yesterday was the worst (or the best) yet. I made some bigs connections/realizations - If this is hard to follow I previously posted my recent experience in my diary post Now I have to continuing moving forward. Everything seems really...

In a recent conversation with a friend, she mentioned about the damage meds do to our bodies especially when taken for years. I have been taking Wellbutrin 300 XL for about 18 months and prior to that Remeron. On Wellbutrin I almost don't even notice I take anything. At times I have felt really...

Not sure where this post belongs but this seems like a possible fit..I am looking for any suggestion to help. I go to sleep at night with no problem. My DH does not go to bed at the same time but when he comes to bed several hours later he often wakes me (or somewhat wakes me) to have sex...

Hi- I don't want to be hung up on a diagnosis and it hasn't been a focus but I am wondering about "my diagnosis". My T has dropped lots of pieces of information around PTSD, depression,anxiety, dissociation episodes but I do not know what I really classified as. I am not one for labels or so I...

Ok - EMDR - I had no experiences with this until 3 days ago. My situation is atypical. A friend of mine is a psychologist and has been practicing for 20 + years. As circumstances unfolded over the years she learned a bit about me and some of my issues. And I have learned a lot about her...

Two years ago I was prescribed Mirtazapine (Remeron) mostly because my sleep was almost non existent. Last year, I couldn't take the side effect of weight gain anymore. I had gained far too much weight and was very concerned (15+ lbs). I was then prescribed Brupropion (wellbutrin). I started...

I have been married 19 years -that is a lot. Once upon a time I was happy go lucky. Sure I had stress- my husband had stress. There were occasional bumps for for the most part we were always in the same page ... I guess if I were to be completely honest - my DH is difficult to live with and...

Here goes - I am embarrassed and have too many crazy thoughts as to why but maybe someone has a suggestion that may help. I have no trouble going to sleep. I then wake when my DH comes to bed which could be 2am, 4am or around 5am. (Yes - my husband has sleep issues too -usually falls asleep on...