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I realized that a lot of my people-pleasing behavior came from a fear of what would happen if I wasn't likeable to someone, like could they ostracize me, beat me, or berate me like my family did. I want to believe that most people are not like that, that most people would not be so violent or...

I find myself looking around every corner for things I'm scared of like spiders and I find myself almost hallucinating them at the peripheral of my vision. It's almost like my mind wants there be a big honking spider right in front of me. I did some journaling and came to the conclusion that...

For those who have had the voice of critical parents/partners/people in their heads, how have you managed it? I can recognize that it's not my own voice and the thoughts aren't how I really feel about myself, but my emotions tend to react before I can challenge the beliefs. By the time I calm...

HealthyGamerGG on Dissociation I don’t remember how I came across this channel on YouTube but this particular video really helped me understand my dissociation and see connecting myself in a new light. Maybe it’ll help some of you too. It’s a bit long I’ve been listening to it gradually or in...

When I’m walking around, I try to not look at anyone and keep my head down or look straight. When a guy says “Hi”, I briefly say “Hi” back and go on my phone or look straight ahead. I instinctively pay as little attention to them as possible. But I think this might come across as dismissive or...

I’ve come to realize that a lot of the feelings and impulses that would lead me to pursue or accept relationships with others came from thought errors and feelings around abuse. In my last romantic relationship, I felt an intense pull and such intense feelings to the point that I would get a...

What are your wishes or desires currently? I think it would be cool to have a thread where we write about the things we want and update it from time to time when a want or need comes up. I’ll start: I wish I had companions that share my interests and who I could go to concerts and outings with.

I’ve kind of been avoiding this forum in particular. I didn’t want to talk about my relationships and just focus on making myself feel better and more functional. I realize that I hold a lot of sadness because I know I deserve to be treated better by my family but I don’t think it’s going to...

I have this experience that I’m sure is dissociation but I’m wondering if others get it too and what they do about it. I’ll be reading or listening to something and all of a sound I won’t really be able to process it. I’m staring at the words but they contain no meaning. They’re just there...

I read that continual anger can inhibit other emotions like grief. I don’t want to let go of the anger though. I’m afraid to let go of it. The realization that I was screwed over and the subsequent anger made me want to get away and allowed me to take steps towards removing myself from shitty...

I’ve been disconnected from what’s happening around me like I will look at words but not really be able to comprehend their meaning unless I try to focus more. Today in addition to that I’ve been falling asleep and having voices say something about relationships. I try to combat cognitive...

Background: I had a particularly stressful day when I discovered that I had a period leak that stained my computer chair maybe half an hour before I had to leave to pick my brother up. This event was made worse by the usual lethargy and general gross feeling of being on my period. It only got...

Welp, here goes nothing. I want to write a list of my traumas but I'm genuinely unsure at this point what is a trauma and what is just a trigger. I also don't want to write repeat incidents. I don't know maybe I'm not ready to dive into everything so maybe I'll start with my fears around that...

I’ve come to realize that my symptoms lessen around people that I feel safer around. They still flare up occasionally but are less intense. But now I’m so focused on interacting that I’m losing control of my schedule and other things I’m supposed to be doing. I’ve had this happen at work as...

I’ve been reading psych books to try to learn how to deal with my symptoms. It’s really helpful but whenever not avoiding feelings or relationships come up I feel anxious. The few books I’ve read so far all say that it helps to feel less afraid or ashamed of my feelings and to try to connect...

I have a little brother. He’s 12 and I’m 27. Almost every week now, he asks me about my trauma in different ways. Today, he asked me if I was a victim of sexual abuse and I said no comment. Then he said you were and I said yea. I felt so vulnerable in that moment. I told him I would tell him...

I was finally able to get through a significant portion of the day without being triggered. I still have time left but over 5 hours without having to stop due to triggers is pretty great.

I’ve recently noticed that the only way I can get through the work day with minimal triggers is to listen to music. The only problem is that I noticed that I dissociate form my body when I do this. I get this intense pains in my leg, shoulder, and neck. I get really tense too. When I don’t...

I’ve been lurking here for maybe a week now but decided to bite the bullet and introduce myself. Guess I needed to canvas the place to make sure it’s safe. My name is Kim. I’m 27. I felt since I was kid that something was “wrong” with me. I wanted to be a psychiatrist starting in high school...

The most vivid early memory I have is of sitting in front of the tv just blankly watching it. Not really reacting to anything on it. Then my mom came home and she gave me a look that said I was in trouble. I remembered that I had thrown a tantrum at day care and they callled her about it. I felt...

I've been working this new job for a few months now. I have recurring issues of getting triggered when a task requires more energy or effort. Simple tasks I breeze through, but as soon as there's a bit of ambiguity or I'm unsure, I can't think straight, and then I get frustrated that I can't...