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Been awhile, but life has been so busy I've barely had time to breath. A lot of changes going on at the moment (some good, some not so good) which is making me go nuts. Anxiety is crazy intense, nightmares, and emotional fladhbacks have been constant. This past week I've been struggling with...

I totally relate to this! It's the weirdest thing to me that I have to talk myself into doing things and routines that I know are beneficial and once I do them...I'm like...why the hell didn't I just do that 5 hours ago.:mad:

It's been a very hectic month. I've neglected my self care routine which wasn't an issue really up until the past week. Kind of have been on auto pilot and haven't felt connected to myself. Kind of like I'm outside of myself and not connected to my physical self. I have no real identity that I...

Haven't had a lot of time recently to focus on myself as I have been busy being pulled in a million different directions. Been doing good at working in self care on a daily basis even if only for a brief moment and something small..like shaving or taking time to stretch. Nightmares are still off...

The bravest thing I'm doing at the moment other than facing my daily fears and stressors is starting my own business so that I can take control of my work life and free myself to enjoy not only my work, but my life as well :) I'm just getting started and I'm stepping way out of my comfort zone...

When bees land like that they are usually tired and hungry, so you were doing a wonderful thing. It's hard to plan for, but if you keep some sugar water handy you can give them a good booster snack and they will love you for it. I keep a small jar out back on my porch and a spoon.

I totally hear you, it's just the particular situation I'm in at the moment I'm not afforded a place to rest and I'm stuck in this repeating pattern :( It's not permanent...but will take some time to be free and in my own space where I can peacefully reflect. One day at a time :) I love the...

The best way I can describe my emotional experience is it's a bit like being on a ferris wheel. There are intense highs, intense lows and sometimes the ride gets stuck. When the ride stops that's when I panic. I really need to learn how to cope with the times when things stop, breath and enjoy...

I am too codependent on others to put value on my self worth. I spend too much time addressing the needs of others and not my own needs. When I do make the time for my own needs...I feel guilty. I realize that has to change and that there is no shame in taking time to love myself and to care for...

I find research to be very helpful in my own personal journey. I feel like the more I know about my own brain and how the abuse affects it, it leads to ways of healing. There are some tough moments and triggers along the way but in the long run the work I'm putting in now by learning more about...

Been a pretty good few days. I'm getting better at working through the difficult emotions and memories. I have a better understanding of my triggers and how to work through them as they come. Meditation and self-care have been key and I can start to see the results of sticking to it and I feel...

As a child I thought that it was normal and it's what everyone went through. It wasn't until my early teens that I began to realize it was wrong and not normal.

I stay away from news as much as possible. In my opinion it's designed and created to keep you fearful and on edge as to keep you glued to the TV. If I do watch any news, I also balance it out by searching for good news stories to read. They are out there, you just have to dig a little for it :)

Been fairly angry the past few days, but have been doing a good job of not stewing on that anger and turning it into productive energy. Sleep is getting better too :) Been focusing more on how I react to situations and less on the people who are trigger me. I can't change them, but I can change...

So I guess I felt it was normal being completely emotionally numb for days and then on an emotional roller coaster the follwing days. I thought that's how everyone operated. Now that I know that it isn't normal (for lack of a better word) how in the heck do you acheive balance between the two...

Woke up this morning angry, with a raging headache and surrounded by triggers. Have to spend a good portion of my day off cleaning up messes I didn't make and the people who did make them have the nerve to say "enjoy your day off". Screw you! I'm not a neat freak by any stretch, but slobbishness...

Jacques Cousteau documentaries and zoning out to Bob Ross shows and Double Stuff Oreos with milk :)

Kind of a blah weekend. Feel numb for the most part and haven't been motivated to do much. Emotionally I feel kind of dead inside.Woke up to another bad dream this morning. The dream started with a phone conversation with my sister (one of my abusers) and I was explaining things to her and it...

My goal today is to keep exercising my skill sets at maintaining a quiet mind, get through my work day and take some time after work for self care and reaching out to friends :)

Welcome to the forum :)

Yesterday was a mixed bag. Something very confusing happened last night with my wife (who has filed for divorce) and it's rolling around my head like crazy. She returned from a day business trip and when she got back home I went out to welcome her and she kissed me. We had some good conversation...

Looking forward to having my own space again away from toxicity and a place to that I can relax.

No it's very helpful to hear your perpesctive :) and I wouldn't say I feel cooped up, more like trapped. I can't really look for a place of my own until we sell our previous home and can't live there for it's too far away. It's a very complicated situation and I'm trying hard to make the best of it.

Ugh. Jolted again awake last night obsessing over one particular thought, which led to another and another. Managed to fall back asleep using some rhymic breathing but when I awoke again the thought still persisted. I think part of it is that I'm mad at myself for not being productive on a...

I have used Melatonin in the past with decent results. You can pick it up in the vitamin aisle. Very sorry to hear everything you have been through. I hope this helps :)