Sufferer New to this forum, abuse survivor, feeling ashamed.

[Fjessi]

I'm so glad that there is a whole community of people who share similar experiences with me, it's such a relief.
I have been officially diagnosed for the past five years, triggered by an abusive partner and a very bad drug experience.
I have a history of sexual abuse and violence from a very early age and have found it really confronting going through the process of digesting my life.
Just recently I have been suffering from sporadic panic attacks, disassociation, random hyper sexuality along with my regular hyperarousal and general distrust.
Sometimes I feel like a beaten animal who can't fit in.
I'm finding it hard to get proper treatment and will keep trying so I thought I'd like to reach out to some kind of community.
I feel very ashamed of myself

 

[EveHarrington]

No need to feel shame here. We have all endured trauma (or support those with trauma), and it seems like most if not all of us have struggled with shame issues.

Welcome to the forum. :hug:

 

[Mushy]

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[ladee]

Welcome.... so glad you found us... and many of us come here with the shame you are feeling. One of the things that helps, is knowing you are not alone, we feel like you do, we think like you do, we act like you do, and we want to get healthier like you do....
Really hope you get the most out of the forum.... and thank you for letting us know you are here !!!

 

[Fjessi]

Thank you guys for the support! I really appreciate it! It is comforting to know that I'm not alone in my experience, which can be the saddest part sometimes so again I really appreciate it

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum - you're definitely not alone here:)

Shame is a big big thing to carry around all the time. And it can take a while to shed it completely. But certainly my experience with this forum is that this was a place I could interact with people that I genuinely understood I didn't need to feel shame around. And slowly but surely, that's creeping out beyond the forum into the rest of my life.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

I know it's already been said several times, but I just want to add my own two sense worth. I agree with everything that's already been said (how often does that happen).

Sometimes telling and believing isn't working and the doubts, fear and shame take over. I know. Been there and am there. It doesn't matter what I've told others, or been told over and over again... the same ugly thoughts pop up again. It's a tough road. But the fact that you're here means you've decided to at least see that there is a road and now can come with us.

We want you to. It's awfully hard and too heavy to carry all this stuff alone.

 

[mumstheword]

You are certainly not alone in your feelings and I, a fellow Aussie and newbie as well, can attest to that. Take heart my friend, we are walking beside you, in parallel experiences, symptoms and struggles to recover and become Whole, despite it all.