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I have this recurring overwhelming feeling that I might all of a sudden lose control over myself and my body. Not sure what that would look like. It usually sends me in a panic, especially if I'm in public or in a bus, train, etc since there are other people around. This sensation doesn't last...

I can relate, I had a flashback during a conversation and I wonder how I acted because I'm not very sure... I recall shaking really bad but that's it. I never had the courage to ask as the person who saw me was really freaked out by the whole experience.

@Rani G I also struggle with allowing myself to "need" connection with other people and there are a lot of things that play into it, like the feelings of being unworthy of connection. Unfortunately that also ended up hurting others because I would be so distant and not engaging with them...

Hi! I thought about sharing this, maybe someone can relate and help me because I'm stuck... I have some abandonment issues rooted in childhood and throughout my life I got into a pattern of being overly attached to authoritive figures like teachers, aunts and uncles, pastors, etc. Even if on...

@mumstheword That was a very beautiful post?

I started reading "Me before you" by Jojo Moyes. I like it a lot so far, but I heard it has a sad ending...

I struggle with this, being angry at God for not coming through for me when I was going through hard moments. I came to the conclusion that I could choose to live my life being angry and bitter towards God or believe that He loves me and cares about me despite my life circumstances. I still...

I don't know how many people use to have this kind of thoughts, but for me death was always on my mind. When I was 3 years old my grandfather died and I was surrounded during my childhood by old and dying family members so I developed this idea that I'm also very sick and I'm gonna die soon. It...

When I share something painful with my T I automatically look down, it's impossible to control it even though I'm aware of it. I do it because of shame but also the fear of seeing my T smile or laugh at me, I couldn't handle that response. Of course, he never does.

This describes so well my situation! I think part of them is genuinely sorry for what they did, but they immediately jump in to find a way to justify their bad behavior and minimize it's impact. When I hear them describe the abuse with words like "a moment of weekness" and that the person who...

How do you feel/respond when people react to your story with the phrase "leave the past behind"? Personally, I used to never think about events that happen in childhood, until I realized that even if it was 10 or 20 years ago it did left a mark that I'm still trying to heal. So often I act/react...

I think that not leaving the house for long periods of time can affect our emotional well being. For me it definitely increases my level of anxiety.

It's very beautiful indeed!! I also have a diary but I'm never persistent enough to write in it on a regular basis.

Hi and welcome to the forums! ? I can imagine it must be really hard to deal with those types of invasive thoughts. I can relate to the anxiety symptoms and oppression, I had a period in my life I thought I would never get out of that hell...unfortunately I was neither in therapy nor on...

@siniang Thank you for your reply, I admit I felt a little beaten down in this discussion. I own my mistakes in my relationship with my grandmother and for sure I could do better, I guess I just wanted to find out how to warm up to someone I don't feel close to and sometimes feel angry at but...

I recently moved in with her, but like I said in the OP she lived with me and my parents from when I was a child until 4-5 years ago, so we know each other very well. The difference it's that it's the first time just me and my grandmother. We used to have the same issues as we do now, so this is...

I can relate, I apply this black and white thinking in all areas of my life unfortunately. I'm either great at my job or if I do a single mistake than it means I'm incompetent and should quit before I'm fired. That friend is either my best friend or I guess it's not really my friend at all, etc...

@Mee I'm seriously thinking about it. I just recently moved in with my grandmother (1 month ago) and I will need to find a good reason to tell her why I want to leave so soon... otherwhise it will only confirm her belief that we do not get along and will mess our relationship even more. Anyway...

There is a lot of ambiguity in my relationship with her...I do live in her house but I have a job and never ask money from her. I'm gone most of the day since I work long hours so we don't spend that much time together either. I'm always telling myself I'm going to try to be more friendly and...

I'm still trying to figure out how to relate to some people in my life, especially family members. I'm in my mid 20's and live with my grandmother because I wanted to be more independent from my parents and I'm thinking about moving out on my own as soon as possible. Until that happends, I need...

I think we should try as much as we can to be surrounded by people who are kind, respectful and supportive. You shouldn't feel guilty for setting more boundaries with her.

@Justmehere As far as I know, they are not trained in specific trauma therapy techniques but where I live I have very very little choice...it's hard to find even one or two people in my city who have some training in this and you add to that my tight schedule and budget....I was ready to go with...

That's also what I'm telling myself to try to explain some of the bad treatment I received from family members. It wasn't cruel, but definitely abusive. It kind of stops being about me and more about their own brokenness.

I agree that it would be a good idea to bring up my concerns to my therapist, it would be hard for me and I guess during the session I'm focused more on what I need to talk about (I feel I can't fit everything I want to say into one hour) and try to ignore some of her reactions that I don't...

Thank you all for your input, it's really helpful to get insight from people who were/are in therapy because a lot of times I don't know if something it's normal or not. Today I called another therapist to see if she would be a better fit and to my surprise she told me she was free to see me...