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Thank you and I agree. I am grateful for all of the wonderful things in my life. And you are right - I chose to be a good mother to my kids and I think I am doing a really good job. I am so proud of my amazing kids! I'm the sappy mom crying on the sidelines and beaming with pride when my...

Thank you!! Places like this have helped me a lot. I get great insight from people who "get it", and I get some validation when I am on the right track. I still have a long way to go, but I am confident I can get there. This is something that I had an awareness of beginning about 4 years...

Promicarus - I just saw your response. YES! I did have a father who was rejecting of me - and a mother who was emotionally detached from me. I do find myself seeking out or being drawn to men who don't treat me well. I am VERY aware of it now and am trying hard to change this. When a man is...

I am in your same boat regarding lack of closure and the difficulty in that situation. I am totally okay with not dating him anymore and I am moving on however I feel that I will always have that question in my mind of what really went wrong. I don't know so I can't fix it for my future...

Thank you everyone for all of your responses. I think at this time I will continue to move forward with my life. If I have any hope of ending this cycle I need to move on. Its sad but the reality is that this man is simply not capable of having a real loving relationship with anyone. He...

I want to text my ex-boyfriend so bad - its all I can think about right now. The thing is, if I text him I know he'll respond. And if he responds it will keep me engaged and I won't move on properly. I need to move on because I want to be happy and he said he can't be in a relationship with...

I also have this problem ~ when J broke up with me I was really given no reason, well I was given lots of rambling little reasons that made no sense. And I was not given any opportunity to fix whatever the issue was. On top of that I didn't even know he felt that way until it happened...

It has been 3 months for me since the painful surprise break up but only 1 week since I decided to quit talking to him. I should have quit talking to him when he decided he was done and I would be 3 months closer to healing. He kept engaging me in conversation and we would meet for lunch every...

I became so accomodating to him and his PTSD needs in our relationship that I lost myself. Now that we are broken up after 3 years I am having a hard time finding myself again.

Yeah, you are probably right. But I struggle with this philosophy too ~ it requires me to think the worst of everyone. I have a habit of looking for the good in people. I thought he really needed a friend and because he was getting additional help, I agreed. Then when I saw he was online...

I'm struggling again - but hopefully on the road to recovery. My ex boyfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago. Most of that time we remained in contact and would see each other for lunch about 1 time per week. So he continued to text me, call me and want to meet for lunch it sort of seemed...

I think you should do whatever will make you feel better. :) Although I appreciate viewpoints from sufferers from time to time, I believe there are instances where they are a bit harsh. Sometimes you as the carer need to be selfish and think of yourself first. If it will make you sleep...

Awww, I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. What an awful day. But on a positive note, that issue is behind you now and you can move forward and never worry about it again. And once you have some distance from that awful day - you will have a crazy story to tell. :p I've done some...

You can find "you" again Mtnativecohome! Be kind to yourself and allow youself to cry and feel sad for what is lost. Then when you are done with that - get up off that couch and take charge of your life! You absolutely deserve a great life and you are in charge of making that happen. My...

You are in my head! THIS is why I still talk to J ~ this is why I keep flip flopping in my thinking ~ and this is my driving force to work hard on myself so I can make the best decision for me! Like you, my children always come first and because I have daughters I feel like I really need to...

Congratulations on the awesome outcome from your court hearing!! Protective order & supervised visitation. I'm certain that is a huge relief! And UGH, I am so sorry about N. I have had that same thing happen to me with my two prior relationships (the ex-husband & J) - I just start to let...

Welcome design eye! The supporters section is full of great people supporting someone they love with PTSD, so come on over. We all can understand exactly what you are talking about. I am not married to my guy (actually we are broken-up right now - again) but he also has PTSD from combat. I...

Thank you StrongerNow. Your advice is excellent! I will try it. :)

The above quote goes for supporters too (or it does in my case). If I am willing to learn about PTSD, learn about his needs and accept him for who he is, then he should do the same for me. I find it so difficult when he is feeling so stressed that he isolates and in some cases breaks-up with...

Well I've been working hard on my co-dependence. I feel a bit more confident in putting my own needs first, although I still have my setbacks. I'm still learning and I accept that setbacks will happen, but I will never fall back into my old thought pattern. If I constantly give of myself, at...

Just be careful. He is capable of HUGE lies and only came clean when you pressed him hard. Try to step back a little bit and take your time with the decision on whether or not to move forward. There are many great men out there and you deserve better than this. I'm sorry you are going...

Just take your time Badger. Your relationship is new and getting to know anyone, PTSD or not, takes time. Make sure you always take care of yourself because its easy to get caught up in worrying and wondering what they are doing if you can't make contact. Just stay busy and he will fit into...

The isolating is very hard for me to handle too. I understand the "why", but I still don't like it. The only way to handle it, is to keep yourself busy with the things you love to do. The more you try to make contact, the more pressured they will feel. There is a link somewhere on the...

I totally get it. This is something I struggle with all the time. I know exactly what I want to say, I know exactly what I need to say ~ but what I end up saying is no where near what I should have said. My dang co-dependence and fear of hurting others at my own emotional expense. Maybe...

I AM A CO-DEPENDENT. There is no doubt in my mind. Because I grew up in the family I did I was pre-destined to become a co-dependent or an alcoholic. I'm not sure which is worse... I have been reading and working on my co-dependent problem. I am feeling stronger each day. My awareness is...