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How do you deal with the hypervigilance and irritability? I've been without it for weeks at least, and suddenly it's come up today and it's really freaking me out. Any general advice on how to calm it down would be appreciated.

@IJustWant2beFree Thank you. I really appreciate that. I hope the best for you. In my case, I'm not worried about something that already happened. I am worried about something that /could/ happen, but more than likely will not. Every day this fear eats at me. Sometimes, every thought that I...

I'm sorry you're also in this mess, billie. I hope some good advice comes along for us as well. hehe

These damn ruminations... Every day, the cycling anxiety, worrying about losing my mind, it rips at me like claws against my burning, acidic stomach. And then there's also anger. When someone contradicts me I feel momentary anger - I want to retaliate and call them out. It's so silly, so...

Yes, you're right. It's definitely because I'm afraid there will be some part of me that I cannot control, that will be painful, that I will not be able to communicate to others. If it's out of control, what I communicate won't make sense to others because they won't function in that plane. And...

I've posted here before about my fear of insanity. The fear cycles - my first obsessive fear was about schizophrenia. Then I moved on to bipolar. Then borderline. I definitely don't have borderline, nor do I have schizophrenia. Who knows if either of those will come out someday (since there is...

saoirserylyn - I was adopted and abused also. This is the source of my PTSD. Because of our adoption experience, we not only have PTSD, but also attachment problems, namely fear of abandonment. Your relationship sounds a lot like my last one. I put a lot of pressure on my (very loving) partner...

@ill I guess I just am doubtful by nature and I assume the worst of many things. Also, going through the symptoms of personality disorders, I see that I have many of them (though I seem to lack the distinguishing characteristics). Complex PTSD, while it isn't an official diagnosis, serves to...

@ill Do you have PTSD/BPD, or both? I certainly do engage in black and white thinking when I reach that overwhelmed state. I don't believe it, and I have the insight to recognize that my girlfriend and I both possess many gradients of "good" and "bad," in the actions we take that validate/harm...

@SuperAnxietyGirl I think it would benefit to have faith in the process of life, that's for sure. I think I get this way when I don't eat right, too. I noticed that all I really had today was candy and coffee. My brain was freaking out. I had so much cycling shame, anxiety, and anger. I just...

I seem to have some emotional regulation issues. I don't self harm, but lately I've been having more and more urges to beat my face/head with my fists. I am depressed often, always alone in my bed, not showering, not cleaning up after myself. I have constant anxious thoughts, intrusive fears...

Thanks all for the insightful and kind responses. I am stuck on this anxiety about normality... Is it normal to be all over the place with PTSD and EMDR? As I said, the mood swings get me extremely anxious. I am DEFINITELY on constant red-alert and mental illness is perhaps the biggest trigger...

Hi, I am in sort of a crisis state... Maybe not exactly a crisis, but I am kind of all over the place and full of anxiety and other negative feelings. I have been doing EMDR on and off for the last three years. I started up again a few weeks ago. I have noticed that I will feel great...

Thank you! And yes, I will try. It's so easy to just be polite and act like things are hunky dory but that defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Ha... I'm going to try to sleep now. Again, welcome to the forums!

You've already helped to support me! Welcome! I hope you enjoy your time here. We're all here to help.

Thank you, gracie_lynn (Grace is my girlfriend's name -- you must be an awesome person). I feel embarrassed for going on like this online but I guess my "stress cup" reaches capacity and writing is the only "healthy" way that I generally know to employ to feel better. It helps to say all this...

I am a terrible human being. This compounds my wish to die. Like I said, I am in therapy, but who I am is so defined by my past. I was molested as an infant and abused from then on by drug addicts. It is a miracle that I am a senior in college who has never had a drug/alcohol problem or been in...

No, and I don't have the luxury of cutting her out for many reasons. :-( Though I don't live with her so that's helpful I suppose.

I was abused from birth. Molested, beaten, neglected, berated... And then I was adopted by a horrible woman who did these things even more severely. I want to kill myself. I am 21 and have been in therapy since I was 8 years old but I still am so broken. I can't trust anyone, I can't be healthy...

Well, I actually do agree with what my psychologists have said. I have PTSD with complex trauma which does cause many of the same "complexes" seen in personality disorders. However, in my day to day, I would say it's accurate that I simply have PTSD with some other anxiety/depression components...

I will ask more directly next time I have the chance. I was also diagnosed with Tourette's when I was a child so there's a high probability I have OCD as well (they have a high comorbidity rate) which seems to be the case. However, if I did have OCD my symptoms would really just be constant...

How am I supposed to tell the difference? Psychologists say I just have PTSD and anxiety but when I research it I see I have essentially all the characteristics of a personality disorder. No personality disorder really fits me perfectly but the general issues all apply. Half the time I'm fine...

Purplemunchkin, thank you for sharing. It is valuable to me to hear your perspective because it is rarer and very similar to what my girlfriend is going through. We are very long distance (east coast - west coast) and so I have not been able to meet her ex. I have perhaps had the long distance...

Your advice is valuable to me. Actually, however, I have had many valuable female relationships. Most of my friends have been female and I have had several girlfriends. If it illustrates a different picture, it may be valuable for you to know that my girlfriend is 10 years my senior. She didn't...

Well no wonder I connected so well with what you both had to say. It's that NF connection. :-) Thank you both for your input and positivity. I have posted this question on several different sites and I have communicated with my parents as well and by most accounts I should trust my girlfriend...