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I can feel depression setting in again. I can't seem to stop it. It feels like I am drowning slowly. Every morning I dread getting up. Yet I pretend everything is ok at work. I am exhausted pretending. Just not sure what Fondo next

November is rough month, with several anniversary dates coming up as trigger. Often wonder what life would have been like if grew up in normal house. 18 years ago one worse events of my life happened. After leaving abusive relationship, he stalked me at work, left notes on car, threatened to...

Last week had apppointment with psychiatrist. She suggested that in order to stay mentally healthy and balanced working part time would be the best option. I have been on LTD for 18 months. I have professional degree and most people in my field in fact work more than 60 hours a week. For me...

My psychiatrist mentioned that although I have been in therapy, I have not processed trauma yet. I am not sure what she means by this? Many of incidents I actually blocked out or dissociated. Does she mean remembering what happened by processing?

This time of year is not good for me. I know it is very triggering, plus physical symptoms as well. Lots of migraines. Lots of nausea. Lots of flashbacks and nightmares and time lost. It feels like am drowning many days. Just so worn out. Anniversary dates take alot out of me.

I have this inner critical voice just won't let up, used to be able to block it out. Almost like it is sabotaging all progress have made in therapy. I am not sure what to do Also been diagnosed with DDNOS and Complex PTSD, seems like such a struggle all the time

I usually am able to keep it together at least at work. It is busy time and I am in accounting, so deal with numbers/spreadsheets all day. There were some errors in formulas that impacting board reports. I owned up to the error right away and my manager was not impressed, although she was...

It happens every year, I get triggered by anniversary dates coming up. I should be used to it, but every year I think it will be different yet it isn't. Just tired of getting triggered so easily. So many things have happened in past and I can't seem to control the nightmares. It is like my...

I told psychologist how I was feeling. I'm really depressed and lowest point ever. Not sure why. She asked and was truthful for once. She asked for permission to talk to psychiatrist. I signed the form. But now not so sure that was good idea. Psychiatrist could hospitalize me, and I am...

Thanks everyone for your responses, working it through here has helped. Not sure why this has upset me so much. The mature side of me thinks just pay it and move on, yet I received the bill in mail yesterday and the immature inner teen took over and shredded it right away before I realized...

I left message with therapist to call me back to discuss charge. She had office manager call me again and tell me I will be charged only half session, which is $90, but I think she is missing the point. Part of me is so angry, part of me just wants to give up and logical art thinks whatever...

I had terrible stomach flu last night, I called Therapist in morning to cancel appointment. Her office manager called saying that I will be charged for missed appointment because was less than 24 hours notice. I understand cancellation policy, I know therapists need to get paid. But I...

So my T wanted to try somatic experiencing. I was alright at first. I was relaxed and feeling fine, but my body was feeling numb. My T wanted me to become more aware of what was feeling. So tried to be more focused in what I was feeling. Then my left arm starting aching and stomach felt as if...

I am fighting the urge to stay in bed all weekend. I go to work and then get home and go to bed right away. I put on happy face at work, which takes alot of energy. There is no real reason for me to feel like this right now, no major crisis going on. Yet facing mornings are getting...

I will be 40 on Dec 3. This makes me sad. Why? Because at 40, don't feel like have accomplished much. One thing I really even wanted was my own family and children, that doesn't look like will happen anytime soon. Spent last 12 years trying to battle PTSD and Depression and Anxiety. Out of those...

not sure how to tell T that reading her notes made me feel worse. I mean there really were no surprises in there, I am aware I dissociate and am anxious. But I thought I hid it well, knowing that she is that observant, I guess makes me feel self-conscious. Plus not sure I want my lawyer to have...

I asked for copies of session notes because insurance denied std claim. So I am debating whether or not to hire a lawyer to fight it. Just seems so exhausting at the moment. Anyway, lawyer said she would need session notes, so I got copies yesterday. Reading them made me sad. I don't remember...

next year will just hide out at home!!!

I am usually ok with Halloween, it is not a particularly triggery day. However I do get triggered when someone sneaks up behind me. Which is what happened at work today. Walked into my office and co-worker who was hiding behind door jumps out and scares me. He was dressed as grim reaper. I...

Thanks Jacquie, the only thing is am too tired to fight....plus no money to fight either

After burning out at work, working 70 hours a week, with little sleep and barely able to concentrate, plus boss calls me idiot when cant stay late at work. my psychiatrist put me on medical leave after I broke down in tears in her office. She filled out all necessary paperwork etc. After...

I am not used to just sitting at home doing nothing. Plus dealing with insurance companies is causing more stress. I am fighting the urge to just go back to work!!! Just feels like am losing control and hate that feeling. Especially in session when I get triggered (which is almost all the...

I am not sure what happened today in session. I was filling out disability forms with doctor, she was asking me questions and was getting stressed about the insurance forms. I had talked to insurance adjustor and she made me feel guilty about taking time off work. I feel like I should be...

Lately I just freeze when get to therapist office.

My counsellor asks me this all the time and all the time, "What do you need right now?". I don't have an answer. I don't know what I need. Never did. Only now it is bothering me when she asks me, because feel like a loser not knowing what I need.