What Do You Need Right Now?

[canucklady]

My counsellor asks me this all the time and all the time, "What do you need right now?". I don't have an answer. I don't know what I need. Never did.

Only now it is bothering me when she asks me, because feel like a loser not knowing what I need.

 

[krystina]

Um.... I feel the same way when my therapist asks me this to. Usually my answer is that I just want to be able to stop thinking about it and just really want to be able to relax. I don't want the whole situation just to control my life. And I guess that is what I am letting happen. I guess I still need help with that. But don't feel like a loser for that. I to sometimes don't know what I need right now to. Sometimes it is hard to know when you are so confused and overwhelmed. When you go to a meeting with your therapist you are probably already stressed because you have to talk about it. Think about what you need before you come and her it might help because then you don't have to think about it later on when you can't even think straight. Writing it down could help to.

 

[canucklady]

Lately I just freeze when get to therapist office.

 

[krystina]

Think about what you want to say, write it down, and give the paper to your counselor to read.
I do that that way I don't have to say it out loud.
It works for me and makes me feel a lot better because then my counselor knows how I feel and what I wanted to get out.

 

[cherryblossom]

I'm exactly the same CL. My therapist always asks me what I want to talk about. I always say I don't know. We always have an awkward 10 minutes at the start of therapy. But I think she knows me well enough now to expect my "I don't know" answer, and she guides me anyway. She always says that she tries not to be directive, but at the same time she knows that I need it, so she becomes directive.

Otherwise, as Krystina says writing things down, could be a starting point.

Good luck

 

[Hlost]

To remember to breathe.

 

[Lucycat]

I've never been asked that!

I can see that it would be incredibly difficult to answer. After all what I really want is for it to have never happened . Next would be to have no memory of the events. But that is just not realistic. So I guess what I want right now is to feel well, whole and know who I am.

 

[Sqweak]

Hi Canucklady,


I know how you feel, It makes me tense when people ask questions I’m left with a split second to come up with a good enough answer. Maybe try writing it down, every once and a while when I have a thought I want to bring up to my T I carry a tiny notebook with me and I just write it down. I find that it isn't until a few hours maybe days after therapy that I can Answer: What do I need right now, without hesitation. Sense my short-term memory is shot to hell; sometimes it's a good idea to write it down, so when the question arises you'll have a ton of answers!

 

[Nyx]

My T always asks me what I want to talk about, never asked me what I need. If she'd asked me that I would ask for a sheet of paper and make a looong list :)

Maybe you could try to think what's the thing that bothered you most lately? I know that helps me prioritize usually. Maybe even try to tell your T you don't know what you want, develop from that.

Do you have any idea why you started to freeze in the T's office? I get it since you said "lately" it wasn't like this from the start...