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I have been away a little over a year. My son was diagnosed with a rare cancer and we only had 14 months together. I am lost in grief. Back on heavy drugs to stop the crying. He fought so hard, he didnt want to die. He loved his life, He had joy, he married the love of his life. They were...

Hi my friends. Not sure if any of you feel this way. I am close to my therapist, not in love but i truly care for him. I have never been able to have a relationship with a man than was not abusive. I am in a really bad time in my life, my adult son has been diagnosed with a rare cancer and as...

@Lionheart777 I so understand your pain. My son if fighting a rare cancer. I feel like the world is crumbling around me. Sending you so much love and hugs.

I guess this is pretty normal for us. I always had this white knight idea. Someone will save me, even through i know reality from fantasy. As a child it was comforting to think this. As an adult i still feel this. I am still in therapy and i really think its just keeps me from falling further...

Hi all, i just wanted to thank you all for your kindness and support. We are in a fight for his life. I am trying so hard to stay on course and not get lost. I may not be around for a while, still going to weekly therapy, just for support. Its so easy to get lost and trying to stay here...

Terror grips me. At night i see my son as a little boy, laying in bed desperately trying to keep his world and brothers normal. Protect, no trauma. Just like when my younger son was sexually abused. Hope, positivity, smile. God I am so scared i will break from this and be no good for him.

His name is Chris. Thank you for your prayers and support.

Its crazy 3wks ago i was amazed wjat a fairy tale life he and his wife have. He has a good job, they love each other so much. Bam, life hits out of nowhere. Its a rare cancer and we find out tomorrow the stage and if its metastasized. He is only 32..i keep thinking i will wake up from this...

Hi, I am as white as they come and yes white privelage Sorry it wont let me edit my post. So I know its reality. People dont see because they never lived it and they want to truly believe that its not true. People live in their little bubble world and dont look outside themselves out if fear of...

Yes i know. But the dreams start with her and turn into a walk down trauma lane. The trigger, i wake feeling so unsafe, fighting this, trying to keep busy. Black/white good vs evil. I know there are shades of grey but sets me in a tailspin. Just feeling sorry for myself, why cant i stay present...

Sorry lost story so bare with me. It was a rough night, dreams started with my sister asking me to visit her new home in New Mexico. Let me step explain my sister and i have lived in a multi family home for almost 20yrs. Trauma affects each child and the adult they become very differently. I am...

I have been having a tough time lately. Panic attacks have been bad. I reach out to my therapist, then feel guilty bothering him. I feel this push and pull but when alone in panic, in my mind he is always there to give me a reassuring hug. Its not something we do but i find it comforting. Part...

Everyday i really struggle with this. I think the same things on these post. People have this ability to express themselves in ways i never could or explain things that i barely grasp. But if you remind yourself were all different and beautiful in so many ways it helps. Our perceptions are...

So strange how memories returned. I had 2 children under 5. I started reading child abuse books, i thought i was sick. I started becoming afraid to go out. But again i stuffed it, i had to leave my marriage the abuse was causing me more terror. I was the old age of 25, i continued keep this in...

@Emily L I have always used my faith in God to help me thtough rough times. My family was not religious but i always knew there eas a God. As a small child i would teased for my beliefs of being good and caring. Still today, I believe and know in my heart that God is with me. I pray, i go to...

Wow @She Cat pretty amazing. My ADD doesnt allow me to schedule, the more i try the more anxious i get.

So wonderful, so happy for you;)

Another one i forgot...

OMG, conflict is huge. Even with my wonderful therapist. OH no please dont be upset with me. Having friends. Going to church, crowds. Its gotten so bad.. My wife is amazing for putting up with me. Thanks for not making me feel so alone.

@Riot Love this! Thank you

As a child you cant possible understand the whys of your life circumstances. You see relatives and other children who lives appear NORMAL, clean homes, clothes, perfectly loving happiness. So as a child you decide your nothing because for whatever reason you done something wrong, you are wrong...

Hi let me jump in. I decided with my therapist that maybe for me processing trsuma isnt what we focus on. If i hit bits and pieces ehen we ralk its ok. I had a breakdown and then stress put me there again. I need to focus on the here and now, i need to have that support when i open my mouth and...

No he lets me email, i can text but that doesnt stop that feeling of not being rationale and out of control. If i could bring it down i would not hit send, but its just an awful feeling. I finally fall asleep and wake up in horror that i hit send. I will talk to him, i am sure he will bust my...

Anything that someone is going to look at my handwriting terrifies me. I write in a journal and i become terrified that someone will see my handwriting. My writing is horrible and i am terrified of being judged. Signing a check causes me anxiety. Its the worse feeling in the world.

I sent an email to my therapist, happens every once in a while. I was freaking out, not at him but how i felt at that moment. My body felt like a thousand ants were crawling on me, i was panicking over work and struggles. I felt like i wanted to just die, i wake up some nights like this. He is...