New to the forum,long time diagnosed and unmedicated serve sufferer of PTSD.
Im a 37 year old from the west coast of Canada hoping common ground helps with relief before I'm ruined even further.
I am a loving husband of over 10 happy mental health issue free years and a father of 5 girls.
My marriage has been amazing and starting a family I thought I was rid of my PTSD issues which are the result of 100's of very traumatic experiences many compounding on top of the other.
Current Diagnosed and unmedicated issues:
PTSD-So severe I used to grind and clench my teeth so hard in my sleep I have destroyed 75% of my teeth and have constant recurring abscesses.
ADHD:Mild to moderate
Bipolar:Mild-current mood depressed (I think a lot of people are misdiagnosed with depression and bipolar instead of properly identifying ADD/ADHD)
Borderline Personality Disorder:Narcissist and Anti-Social Traits
Been suffering from PTSD probably since a baby as my dad and mom used to fight really bad.
-@2 he put a knife to my throat to threaten my mom
-@3 I was stealing beers from the fridge and weed/roaches to stash til they would run out so before a fight would break out I could bring it to my dad.
@5 They divorced,My mom had my dad arrested then packed all our stuff and moved while he was in jail he met his next wife when he was released a few hours later.
If PTSD didn't start for me then it would have been near the end of grade 3 when my grandmother and primary care giver passed away.I was very close to her and always did well in school and behaved for her.All grades for the first few years of school were above average and highly above average after she passed grade 4 was bad behavior swearing in class,fighting,stealing from stores.skipping school and all F's -I even attended summer school that year.
Some of the other traumatic events in my life worth noting
@23 watched my friend get murdered in front of me-shot in the face from close range with a shotgun he had no face left.No jaw,no nose,no eyes and his head was split in 2 with his brains on the street and blood flowing like a fountain out of his head and i ahd to deal with his GF holdig what was left of his head together telling him he will be ok.
@24 in a 10 day time period when i left town to work my best friend/,mentor/uncle who had been super depressed about his wife of 20 years sleeping around and doing coke,while he worked long hard hours at the mill and busted his ass for his family-in that time he committed suicide-I was his crutch and his heart helping him get through it,my roommate at the time stole the rent n didn't pay it ,,stole all my valuable 20,000$ or so between clothes and electronics as well as my puppy and the cherry on that was I found out my GF at the time who had said she had been pregnant for 5 months was exposed for not being pregnant after even telling my nana she was and going to fake dr apps and she had also lied about her age and pretty much everything else-I was left homeless broke,grieving,reeling and depressed.
those are a couple highlights
I often have to purchase proper medication for ADHD-Adderall ,PTSD-Xanax.Ativan,Chronic Pain-Percocet
I never abuse and am never reliant except for on the percocet and I have been using them everyday since November 2013 after I was hit in a MVA but have never increased dosage and only take it morning ,mid day and before bed to get my usual 4-5 hours of sleep.Most the time I take only half of one unless I'm very sore then I take a whole one.
I've defeated addiction to hard core street drugs/ex pharmaceuticals and a lifestyle of homelessness,always different foster/group homes and bail beds,always on the run from a warrant,career criminal in the system from 11-19 at 11 and 12 i was arrested lots but the cases couldn't be brought into court due to no jurisdiction cause of my age.At 18 I walked away from doing crime,never wanted an adult record or the cycle to start and by 19 a Vision Quest on Mushrooms showed me how to get clean,the choices and steps to take to never looking back at all those years of misery and now 18 years later I haven't been back.
That was until last march when I (and my family as collateral damage) had to deal with a slumlord landlord and her realtor bullying my wife and I brutally form the unhealthy condition of the house
to the Realtor hounding us with showings of the house we were not informed would be on the market and had got put on it day after lease signed.
Since then til this day has been a brutal onslaught of covert harassment against my family to the point of causing me to be literally insane from July til January 17th when i woke up with perfect clarity and knew I was myself.
The damage I'm left to deal with is the worst ever i have trumped up charges,restraining order form my wife and kids(never any domestic history or even an argument with my wife before this started), and have fought since the 5th to remain free,housed,fed,save our family dog and possessions that were abandoned the day of my arrest on Dec.31st and have spent every single day in outrageous trauma,stress and anxiety so bad i have almost had myself committed and am left isolated alone 24/7 in the house where everything unfolded,thinking only to myself and catching blame and beef from my mom and uncle who are the only people I've had but they wont see what has happened and see we are the victims of relentless and ruthless covert harassment that broke us right down.
They dont think to protect em at all as I am having serve PTSD issues but they refuse to believe isolation is bad for me right now ,saying the alone time will do me good and driving my mental state down-after just getting myself back on the 17th after months,coming into clarity to having to deal with my worst nightmare fighting to get my family home.they didn't want to be apart at all and we have all been suffering so much since this happened while my wife has to look after all 5 kids and be a hostage at her parents parents.I should also mention at the time of my arrest I was in medical distress and sent straight to hospital(and twice after from cells) for multiple untreated and undiagnosed infections and injuries-including being struck with Bell's Palsy 2 days before arrest.
The full details are a lot more traumatic ;but will be saved for my diary.
Im a 37 year old from the west coast of Canada hoping common ground helps with relief before I'm ruined even further.
I am a loving husband of over 10 happy mental health issue free years and a father of 5 girls.
My marriage has been amazing and starting a family I thought I was rid of my PTSD issues which are the result of 100's of very traumatic experiences many compounding on top of the other.
Current Diagnosed and unmedicated issues:
PTSD-So severe I used to grind and clench my teeth so hard in my sleep I have destroyed 75% of my teeth and have constant recurring abscesses.
ADHD:Mild to moderate
Bipolar:Mild-current mood depressed (I think a lot of people are misdiagnosed with depression and bipolar instead of properly identifying ADD/ADHD)
Borderline Personality Disorder:Narcissist and Anti-Social Traits
Been suffering from PTSD probably since a baby as my dad and mom used to fight really bad.
-@2 he put a knife to my throat to threaten my mom
-@3 I was stealing beers from the fridge and weed/roaches to stash til they would run out so before a fight would break out I could bring it to my dad.
@5 They divorced,My mom had my dad arrested then packed all our stuff and moved while he was in jail he met his next wife when he was released a few hours later.
If PTSD didn't start for me then it would have been near the end of grade 3 when my grandmother and primary care giver passed away.I was very close to her and always did well in school and behaved for her.All grades for the first few years of school were above average and highly above average after she passed grade 4 was bad behavior swearing in class,fighting,stealing from stores.skipping school and all F's -I even attended summer school that year.
Some of the other traumatic events in my life worth noting
@23 watched my friend get murdered in front of me-shot in the face from close range with a shotgun he had no face left.No jaw,no nose,no eyes and his head was split in 2 with his brains on the street and blood flowing like a fountain out of his head and i ahd to deal with his GF holdig what was left of his head together telling him he will be ok.
@24 in a 10 day time period when i left town to work my best friend/,mentor/uncle who had been super depressed about his wife of 20 years sleeping around and doing coke,while he worked long hard hours at the mill and busted his ass for his family-in that time he committed suicide-I was his crutch and his heart helping him get through it,my roommate at the time stole the rent n didn't pay it ,,stole all my valuable 20,000$ or so between clothes and electronics as well as my puppy and the cherry on that was I found out my GF at the time who had said she had been pregnant for 5 months was exposed for not being pregnant after even telling my nana she was and going to fake dr apps and she had also lied about her age and pretty much everything else-I was left homeless broke,grieving,reeling and depressed.
those are a couple highlights
I often have to purchase proper medication for ADHD-Adderall ,PTSD-Xanax.Ativan,Chronic Pain-Percocet
I never abuse and am never reliant except for on the percocet and I have been using them everyday since November 2013 after I was hit in a MVA but have never increased dosage and only take it morning ,mid day and before bed to get my usual 4-5 hours of sleep.Most the time I take only half of one unless I'm very sore then I take a whole one.
I've defeated addiction to hard core street drugs/ex pharmaceuticals and a lifestyle of homelessness,always different foster/group homes and bail beds,always on the run from a warrant,career criminal in the system from 11-19 at 11 and 12 i was arrested lots but the cases couldn't be brought into court due to no jurisdiction cause of my age.At 18 I walked away from doing crime,never wanted an adult record or the cycle to start and by 19 a Vision Quest on Mushrooms showed me how to get clean,the choices and steps to take to never looking back at all those years of misery and now 18 years later I haven't been back.
That was until last march when I (and my family as collateral damage) had to deal with a slumlord landlord and her realtor bullying my wife and I brutally form the unhealthy condition of the house
to the Realtor hounding us with showings of the house we were not informed would be on the market and had got put on it day after lease signed.
Since then til this day has been a brutal onslaught of covert harassment against my family to the point of causing me to be literally insane from July til January 17th when i woke up with perfect clarity and knew I was myself.
The damage I'm left to deal with is the worst ever i have trumped up charges,restraining order form my wife and kids(never any domestic history or even an argument with my wife before this started), and have fought since the 5th to remain free,housed,fed,save our family dog and possessions that were abandoned the day of my arrest on Dec.31st and have spent every single day in outrageous trauma,stress and anxiety so bad i have almost had myself committed and am left isolated alone 24/7 in the house where everything unfolded,thinking only to myself and catching blame and beef from my mom and uncle who are the only people I've had but they wont see what has happened and see we are the victims of relentless and ruthless covert harassment that broke us right down.
They dont think to protect em at all as I am having serve PTSD issues but they refuse to believe isolation is bad for me right now ,saying the alone time will do me good and driving my mental state down-after just getting myself back on the 17th after months,coming into clarity to having to deal with my worst nightmare fighting to get my family home.they didn't want to be apart at all and we have all been suffering so much since this happened while my wife has to look after all 5 kids and be a hostage at her parents parents.I should also mention at the time of my arrest I was in medical distress and sent straight to hospital(and twice after from cells) for multiple untreated and undiagnosed infections and injuries-including being struck with Bell's Palsy 2 days before arrest.
The full details are a lot more traumatic ;but will be saved for my diary.
