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20 Days Of Unstuffing - The Small Stuff

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After cleaning the whole kitchen, turning around and seeing a counter full of dishes and a pot boiling over on the stove! However, after years of begging and pleading, yelling and attitude, this time I said, "just give me one day to see it clean", then changed my mind and let it go.

He's busted now because now I know he can keep the kitchen clean right after I clean it!! :sneaky:
 
Bear,

Don't beat yourself up about it. My husband does the same thing as sometimes he is unsure how to approach me. But from someone that suffers PTSD and knowing that I do not always perceive things correctly, the direct route is the best route.

We have a new rule. His is direct and if I am not sure I ask for clarification. No reaction allowed until I fully understand what is being said. It has helped the "eggshell" thing if you know what I mean.

Deb
 
Ditto with my Hunny, Deb, bless his heart - sometimes I could just rip his thoughts from his throat :inlove:.

I get super annoyed at having to repeat myself and directions I've given. I tend to think I'm crystal clear. Stepping back from this age old annoyance I now realize that others are seriously MUCH more patient with me and always have been.

Time for me to adjust my patience level down several freaking notches and get a grip.

Rain
 
What a great thread! I am not attempting to put blame on either side. I believe it has to do with the difference of male/female reaction. Mens brains respond to the logical side where female expect emotional response. Not all however, I am female and tend to respond more from a male perspective. I was treated as a male by my father. The mystery is why does someone ask a simple question, "what do you want"; one responds with telling, and the questioner states what they think you need? Yes the 5 second rule is good but invalidating is not the answer. If I want 10 cocoanut milk it is my business! Unless one just threw out 10 because they spoiled. A simple statement would suffice without being invalidated! JMHO Hugs Whitney
 
Guilty as charged. Over and over again, Deb!
This is not guilty, this is normal. I would love Anthony's perspective on this. I have studied Neurolinguistics which makes so much sense. I had no idea it is actually used in therapy for PTSD. Two people can say the exact same thing and argue the issue because their sense feels it differently. Hugs Whitney
 
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