Undiagnosed 25 Years Later...

[Riot]

Its def worth asking about but when i did i got a "yes but it doesnt matter, we've been treati...

I hear you. I'm glad you have such passion. Keep up the good fight. :)

And, I sincerely do appreciate you putting it out there that treatment is the same. I didn't realize that was why I was so hung up on it until you put that there, so thank you again.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

And although I did suffer a very 'true' trauma (sexual assault as a child) I didn't realize how long it can last untreated, and how much more complex (do you see what I did there?) it can be.

This is what i was really replying to, (and im not saying you dont have CPTSD) but complex doesnt mean left untreated for yrs. Complex refers to the trauma itself, trauma after trauma on top of trauma, layering like an onion all complexing each other.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I hear you. I'm glad you have such passion. Keep up the good fight.

Indeed! You have to! :)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I would wager I qualify for either. I have long term trauma and recent. I'm sure I'll be discovering more after my next appointment. I'm trying to come up with some things to ask.

You may, and def worth asking. Just wanted to explain that is all. Its worth asking about and it also may be in the DSM 5; i dont know, 5th edition just came out and i havent seen it...was dignosed with all of my disorders in the 4th edition.

5th edition has medications now approved for Borderline Personality Disorder, which is awesome so who knows whats in it.

 

[Riot]

And although I did suffer a very 'true' trauma (sexual assault as a child) I didn't realize how long it can last untreated, and how much more complex (do you see what I did there?) it can be

This is what i was really replying to, (and im not saying you dont have CPTSD) but complex doesnt mean left untreated for yrs. Complex refers to the trauma itself, trauma after trauma on top of trauma, layering like an onion all complexing each other.

You're absolutely right. It goes back to...

At some point in my life between 6-8 (it's a bit foggy and fragmented) I was violently sexually assaulted by a 17 year old neighbor that I didn't know well. Really though, it started before that in different ways, with parental abandonment and neglect.

Previous unresolved trauma, possibly ongoing, and continued or repeated trauma after. ;)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Previous unresolved trauma, possibly ongoing, and continued or repeated trauma after. ;)

There you go, something else i missed, the last part (dyslexia is frustrating).

If it were me tho, id push for a PTSD dignosis first and then once thats done bring up CPTSD remind him about the possible ungoing trauma, i only say that cuz if he hasnt wanted to dignose PTSD, i think CPTSD might throw him off. Just my thought though

 

[Riot]

@lostforgottensoul

As long as I receive relief, I'll feel better. I'm slowly strapping on my armor here, I've got some seriously major hurtles to get over. You should check out my letter "Dear Me" which is an unsent letter. The TLDR of that would be (in part) that my parents abused and neglected me through my childhood and adulthood, that I'm working on coping strategies for an end game solution, but that I recognize I have to get right with myself first and learn how to cope.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@lostforgottensoul

As long as I receive relief, I'll feel better. I'm slowly strapping...

I undersrand. You sound determined, which is awesome!

Is the letter here? I'll go read it.

My therapist wants me to write a letter to my abusers, well now the only one living and he wanted me to send it but that will caused unneceassy more drama in my family so he said write it and dont send it. I havent yet but i might. Havent been able to let out that much anger at them. Would be a good post idea though. ;)

I am in the progress of talking to my "child self" in several posts. Last one was a poem i post here in childhood.

 

[Riot]

@lostforgottensoul, yup. I edited my post to link it in. My therapist hasn't specifically mentioned letter writing, but I find writing to be cathartic in most situations. :)

 

[Anarchy]

This should get you started on some of the explanations.

The conference is actually about BPD, but the speakers all cover trauma and diagnosis. they're actually very disparaging (IMO rightly so) about the diagnostic categories.
Gabriella Balfe's presentation touches on dissociation, and please make sure that you have a big box of paper tissues beside you if you watch Anita Sawyer's presentation :cry::cry::cry: .

It was van der Kolk and Judith Lewis Herman, who were behind the proposed diagnoses of CPTSD, and more recently Developmental Trauma, to capture the different manifestations of long term abuse during childhood or captivity, compared to the military and discreet shock trauma of the current PTSD model.

probably the best description of developmental trauma that I've come across is by Sebern Fisher (close friend of Marsha Linehan since they were both hospitalised in their teens) http://www.bookdepository.com/Neuro...lopmental-Traum-Sebern-F-Fisher/9780393707861

I've been posting links and names of researchers I've come across herehttps://www.myptsd.com/threads/insightful-and-understandable-academic-authors.57002/

I've already embedded one of Gannon (Spartan Life coach)'s vids. He's good, I watched one of his recent vids yeaterday, and there were a few new " :eek:, I do that" moments in it https://www.youtube.com/user/SPARTANLIFECOACH/videos

 

[Riot]

@Anarchy, thanks so much!

 

[Riot]

I have no idea why that posted so much, but it does express my gratitude well. I can't believe you found something. The guy in the beginning of the first one describing the childhood thing is what really scares me!

"Instead of remembering, they are re-enacting. And that is their way of re-enacting." The little bit before that is so spot on. That's what I am terrified of having happen in therapy. Mine mostly come in the form of nightmares, and holy f*ck do they pump the adrenaline.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Anarchy thanks for the video! Not sure if watching at work is a good idea but i have BPD and would be worth watching. I have watched many vids on BPD.