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5 Things I'm Thinking Today

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 29920
  • Start date Start date
1. It's still too hot
2. COuldn't go to sea because diarrhea :(
3. I need to rewise alternate coordination systems
4. How did I end up in an article about an online pool in 2001 naming the word pegging?
5. Well, i'm tired
 
TL;DR Ugh
1. Must walk the pooch because T storms forecasted tonight.
2. I am terrified of TStorms & deluge rain. :( :cry:
3. (((((( @jaccat ))))))
4. I realized today my abusive 'best friend' of 10 years was abusive because I wouldn't sleep with him- not because I did (we weren't bf/gf, not DV). I know how tht sounds, but he actually said as much- constantly. First time I remembered all that, last night & today. I didn't go out with him when he asked but we became friends- best friends- because he reminded me of my dad's humour & build (6' 2" or 3") I guess-I hadn't grieved anything, & I was only about 3 months post lots of maladaptive stuff I'd stopped, trying to change my life, stopped them mostly all, went back to church, started University etc, & he offered to help me with some Chem labs I had missed, after hours when the labs were closed (he was older than me). He went on to be abusive in all ways, & demeaning/ demoralizing. I mean, he'd be abusive to anyone I suppose? (out of sight, anyway?), but it was escalating with mostly me (& strangers when he was drinking/ very drunk by the end). Was worse than even with his gf. He was filled with rage. He used to use broken beer bottles. It came to me last night he had some warning signs of being pretty ~psycho/ unconsionable in ways. Hated women.
5. Can't believe I revealed that ^^ . Where's the shame icon.

1. At least it's been a while. Much time.
2. I awsn't naive I was devastated, & kind. And had so much else to contend with. Ugh. :( I never thought he would be insulted or want to 'make me pay for it'. Or perhaps rather, just = anger/ rage. And his best friend when we first met told me don't go out with him, & said (he) wanted to ask me out but wouldn't because he 'was afraid to' (because of him). I didn't even want to go out I just wanted to escape the pain & get my degree.
3. Ugh. Stupid stupid stupid stupid thoughts. :yuck:
4. But it was my fault to stay but not my fault he was abusive.
5. I'm so sorry for writing all of that. Thank you for letting me, though. (@Cj77 esp :hug: )
 
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1. I know what started all that memory, I heard people end up together in 2 ways: they are either very similar, or one needs what the other has. Specifically, they said someone unloving (if you are), takes that love until there's nothing left then kicks you when you're down because you have nothing left to give (narcissist)
2. Today felt better than most, like a rainbow in clouds so I'm ditching the above (thoughts)
3. Was thinking (before all this cr*p), open-hearted & broken-hearted, are the same. :)
 
1. Saw my great niece today. :happy:
2. Went to the beach with my sister and great niece.
3. Was invited to go tubing next week... to go or not to go, that is the question.
4. Picked raspberries today, yum.:hungry:
5. My sister likes to try to analyze me, geez just accept me for who I am and get over it already!! ;):tup:
 
@Junebug Trophy icon for opening up !
2. I have eaten well for two days and am very grateful !
3. I am checking out a new possible residence on Wednesday during an open house. Cross fingers please...(((hugs)))
4. My Son is escorting me there and then I get to go to my DIL and his mountain home to chill and relax for a day.
5. I wonder if they have an Olympic opening for Drama Queen? I like to put a stamp on my LandLord's arsh & mail her there for try outs...:clown:
 
1. If you forget you have bananas @Cashew, I'll make you banana bread. :) :hug:
2. Thank you so much @Recovery4Me & @Cj77 & all, if nothing else to put up with it. I consider writing that drivel. But cj77 you make me laugh, I see a visual of knuckles dragging on the groind. Wish they had been, instead of fists!
3. I don't explain things or bad things very well, I kind of minimize. But, I suppose that's why I did not get away from it, because the minimizing starts internally. So I've learned something! :tup: :)
4. @Recovery4Me love wednesdays, my aunt used to say, 'St. Joseph's Day, everything will be all right." :) :tup:
5. Hugs, prayers, candles (when I'm back from work), + love, to all. :notworthy: Xoxox
 

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