5 Things I'm Thinking Today

[Deleted member 12723]

@Cj, Stop that and do not apologize okay kiddo? You are a good person and do not say such bad things about yourself okay?:hug::hug::hug:

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Okay @gizmo, I've just been feeling weird and sad lately and want to be my normal self again :hug::hug::hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

1. @Silver @C j @gizmo :hug: :hug: :hug:
2. I'm trying to stop the thoughts: 'Fix it', if I could piece it together:
-anxiety was present since a child
-I'll never feel like a victim I was to blame
-I've been told I am to blame
-I fear harming others. That's not all a bad quality
-SI, leaving, Euthenasia are all the same: can't do any harm then. And if that's where it's heaaded anyway, instead of being anxious take the bull by the horns & get it over with. Why wait for the inevitable? My thoughts.
- I see it as my responsibilty, my gift (wrong word) , or at least 'better'. My onus.
-

Don't listen to those thoughts! I nearly took my life several years ago when I came to focus on the misbelief everyone would be better off without me. I convinced myself that my children deserved better than me.

4. Ugh. I'm so tired. :(
5. I don't have children,
6.. Thank you @kona355 & all. :notwirthy: :hug:
7. Knowing the thoughts I wish I could figure out how to fix them. :(
8. What am I missing to do so I do not know. I am weary.

 

[Tinyflame]

1. I don't feel worthy or entitled to much of anything. Can't think of anything atm, anyway. Maybe not help or healing, either.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@Junebug :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

1. I hope I can say another stupid thing:
when I was a child my gramma died I had her prayerbook, read all my family's/ friends b-day readings, they all fit their lives as I knew them: 'overcome', 'free me from guilt', etc etc, they were 'their lives'. I cannot understand mine, even googling no one says. It's so stupid. :( Maybe I don't understand what's so obvious even 'Google' doesn't say?
2. Where do I find a reason to be living, or feel entitled to it? Or to not 'not be'?
3. Ugh. I'm sorry.
4. Hugs for those in need. :hug: @C j :notworthy: :hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

1. Wow, I found out an answer! All these years! :) :notworthy:
2. Actually, it's a bit different explanation than I thought (could guess), because I was concentrating on one part, not another.
3. I did think, the kindest - and I really do mean THE kindest- thing I can say re: myself might be I guess I really am pretty beaten down.
4. It took 10 years of kindness received to say that.
5. I could say, 'why did it take 10 years and that's all I can say kind to myself'? But, concentrating on a different part too I coud say "10 years and I can say that kindness to myself!" :) :tup:

 

[The ANP]

Congratulations Junebug, sounds like you are feeling better

5 random thoughts today
1. We really can not trust our own perceptions
2. feelings are better with pie
3. I am always afraid that my employer is going to find out I am not good enough and fire me. It's neurotic.
4. I think I am finally ready to leave my trauma in the past
5. I should have started taking medication years ago

 

[Ronin]

1. Fruits = water.
2. Being at home sucks, too.
3. Someone delete people pls.
4. Yeah pendeja shut the f*ck up about your artificial problems.
5. We don't punch random assholes why? Right. Ear phones are a thing. Tune out the trash, don't trash it.
6. If I could sell the rage I'd finally be rich. :D

 

[Anrish]

1. Grey weather.
2. Finished reading "Lady Midnight" - the second volume will be published May 2017...sooo long!!! :arghh;
3. Baking extreme.
4. Somehow, I don't wake up today...
5. Will I ever feel content...?

 

[aut555]

1. I am obsessing over something stupid.
2. I promise myself l wouldn't do that.
3. 2+ years l am waiting for my divorce though gave up obessing about that, is the agreement in the mail today?
4. I need to focus and stay in the moment instead of obsessing.
5. I am obsessing about the number 5.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Feeling a little better,
Great friends who care and help out
weekend is here Yay
Time out from real life
I want to feel better.