Mate, In my opinion, it's not PTSD. PTSD is just a huge balloon explanation for a shit load of symptoms.
You were conditioned to kill people and not feel emotion about it. You were conditioned to use 'ANGER' as an overdrive. Think of the bayonet training. Without 'ANGER' you would not have got through it.
So, hence when your in line at Wal-Mart etc and that bloke looks at you wrong, you say you would not hesitate to kill him, I beg to differ. Your rational part of your brain would stop unless he picked a fight and pulled out a knife etc. Give yourself a bit of credit. Its also why when we get into an argument with a loved one, we can lose control
and anger takes over. We then say shit we don't mean to hurt them, because we are hurting ourselves.
Those people in the street we look at like they are undisciplined shmucks who need a good beating. I even look at the smart arse wankers around the shopping centres looking all tough. I would love to show them too.
Just my opinion.
Don't get me wrong, early on in my therapy after I was first diagnosed, I wanted to really, really hurt some people too.
It gets better mate.
You were conditioned to kill people and not feel emotion about it. You were conditioned to use 'ANGER' as an overdrive. Think of the bayonet training. Without 'ANGER' you would not have got through it.
So, hence when your in line at Wal-Mart etc and that bloke looks at you wrong, you say you would not hesitate to kill him, I beg to differ. Your rational part of your brain would stop unless he picked a fight and pulled out a knife etc. Give yourself a bit of credit. Its also why when we get into an argument with a loved one, we can lose control
and anger takes over. We then say shit we don't mean to hurt them, because we are hurting ourselves.
Those people in the street we look at like they are undisciplined shmucks who need a good beating. I even look at the smart arse wankers around the shopping centres looking all tough. I would love to show them too.
Just my opinion.
Don't get me wrong, early on in my therapy after I was first diagnosed, I wanted to really, really hurt some people too.
It gets better mate.
