General A Reason For Hope

[sisu]

Last night "J" and I got together to chat and have dinner. He was as sweet as ever and said some things that gave me reason for hope. Sometimes hope is hard for me to celebrate because it can be fleeting.

But hope I will...once again. He told me, "thank you for being patient with me" and "thank you for sticking around". We talked very openly about all sorts of things and although nothing has changed with us as far as our "break", the communication and friendship has grown so much.

When we were walking out of the restaurant a police siren suddenly went off and he about jumped out of his skin. He joked about it and shared with me how that physically made him feel. Also, some military type war game advertized on TV while we were at his house and he said that if he played that game it would trigger a huge attack in him. There were more things he shared about his ptsd, but the point I am trying to make is that he IS sharing. This is something that he previously tried to hide from me and now he "lets it all hang out" so to speak. I prefer this man over the one who hid everything.

The love has never ceased and the trust and friendship has increased. Maybe this is the path we both need right now. Him to trust me with his private emotions and feelings with his ptsd and me to understand him better and understand myself.

Happy dance! :)

 

[Steph_F]

Yay!! :)

 

[sisu]

Now if we can just get a handle on his need to isolate at times, all would be good. The isolation thing is the one thing I struggle with the most. But he is getting better with that and I am understanding it more. I recently asked him if he ever gets tired of pushing me away....his response, "yes".

 

[NikkiNikki]

Good to hear that hun! :)

You know my ex used to play war type video games all the time...

 

[sisu]

Thought I'd post an update...

Things are continuing in a positive direction for me and my BF....yes, he is my BF again. We are together and I feel like we are in a much better place then we have ever been. The foundation of friendship that was already there grew stronger during our struggles earlier this year. We were also able to build up more trust by being there for each other in those tough times. We both know now that we can tell each other anything ~ good, bad or ugly ~ without fear of rejection or judgement. I cannot tell you how good that feels.

He graduated with masters degree last week and I was there cheering him on from the stands. His mom flew in to visit and go to the ceremony too. That was the first time I have ever met her because she lives pretty far away from us. I walked in the door to meet her and she immediately gave me a hug and said, "thank you for being so good to my son". I told her it was easy to be good to such an amazing guy. In meeting his mom, I feel even more connected to him. We hope to fly out to Washington so I can meet the rest of his family this summer. I am so excited for that!

I hope all is well with everyone. I think of all of my friends on here often. Take care!! Elizabeth

 

[wife of]

Good news indeed.X

 

[NikkiNikki]

That's awesome hun! Good for you! Hope things continue to go good!

 

[Steph_F]

I am SO happy for you!! The best things out there never come easy, do they?

I read somewhere that relationships are a series of endings and new beginnings. Pretty true, huh?

 

[Mockingbird13]

Im so happy for you... I hope your journey togegther continues in a positive direction !