Sufferer A spring-loaded onion.

[KangaMom]

Hello everyone, I have never joined or used a forum before, so I don't know any of the rules or common behaviors.

I am 45, almost 46, and I have been actively pursuing any avenue I can find to heal from CPTSD for almost 3 years. I have done IOP, PHP, and Residential. I completed TMS treatment a few days ago and I am in therapy 2x week using IFS, brainspotting, and some somatic treatments. I knew I had trauma from dealing with my daughter's mental health issues but under that I have discovered multiple childhood traumas, religious trauma, domestic abuse, and SA. Most of I didn't even know was there. I look at therapy and my mental health as an onion, exposing new layers every time you remove a layer, except sometimes there are traumas hiding and when you remove a layer they explode out like a spring-loaded bomb.

I cannot find a regular support group that fits my needs, so I am hoping to find support and connection here.

 

[Riley Jones]

Hello everyone, I have never joined or used a forum before, so I don't know any of the rules or common behaviors.

I am 45, almost 46, and I have been actively pursuing any avenue I can find to heal from CPTSD for almost 3 years. I have done IOP, PHP, and Residential. I completed TMS treatment a few days ago and I am in therapy 2x week using IFS, brainspotting, and some somatic treatments. I knew I had trauma from dealing with my daughter's mental health issues but under that I have discovered multiple childhood traumas, religious trauma, domestic abuse, and SA. Most of I didn't even know was there. I look at therapy and my mental health as an onion, exposing new layers every time you remove a layer, except sometimes there are traumas hiding and when you remove a layer they explode out like a spring-loaded bomb.

I cannot find a regular support group that fits my needs, so I am hoping to find support and connection here.

Hello and welcome to the myptsd.com community. It's truly courageous of you to reach out and seek connection and support. We understand how navigating complex layers of trauma can feel like dealing with a never-ending onion, uncovering hidden truths that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Rest assured, you're not alone in this journey.

You've taken significant steps in your healing process, and being here could be another vital step towards finding the support and understanding you need. Our community is filled with people who have experienced similar challenges and can empathize with what you're going through.

Dive into the various forums and discussions available. You'll find specific topics related to different aspects of PTSD and CPTSD, allowing you to connect with others who share similar experiences and struggles. Engage at your own pace, share your story or thoughts when you're comfortable, and know that this is a supportive space where you can feel seen and heard.

If at any point you feel the need for professional guidance, please don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. Your well-being is of utmost importance.

Thank you for trusting us to be part of your healing journey. We’re here with you, ready to support and connect as you take each step forward.

 

[arfie]

hello kangamom. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

support groups have been my most cohesive thread in my long recovery from child sex trafficking. live support groups were the only available option until the late 90's. the early on-line support groups were more challenging than supportive. they have started feeling like viable options in recent years. i hope this one serves you as well as it has served me.

welcome aboard. i hope you find healing companionship here.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum!

 

[Friday]

I am 45, almost 46, and I have been actively pursuing any avenue I can find to heal from CPTSD

This speaks to childhood trauma more than most things.

Most of the people I know in their 30s40s50s go by decades. Occasionally adding early/mid/late. Sometimes/rarely. Mostly? The whole damn decade. 20’s is still by year. Teens age up. You’re using I’m 5 & 3/4s, I’m 7 and a HALF, 3 almooooooost 4, etc. kind of aging yourself? You’ve got childhood stuff locking onto your present.

I cannot find a regular support group that fits my needs, so I am hoping to find support and connection here.

Aloha.

Welcome to the community.

 

[Kitkat84]

Hello everyone, I have never joined or used a forum before, so I don't know any of the rules or common behaviors.

I am 45, almost 46, and I have been actively pursuing any avenue I can find to heal from CPTSD for almost 3 years. I have done IOP, PHP, and Residential. I completed TMS treatment a few days ago and I am in therapy 2x week using IFS, brainspotting, and some somatic treatments. I knew I had trauma from dealing with my daughter's mental health issues but under that I have discovered multiple childhood traumas, religious trauma, domestic abuse, and SA. Most of I didn't even know was there. I look at therapy and my mental health as an onion, exposing new layers every time you remove a layer, except sometimes there are traumas hiding and when you remove a layer they explode out like a spring-loaded bomb.

I cannot find a regular support group that fits my needs, so I am hoping to find support and connection here.

Hi Kangamum

Welcome to the group. It’s great to hear that you have been doing so much work on your trauma recovery, well done. I completely relate to you and your onion layer analogy. I have also recently become aware of childhood trauma, which I knew was there but I didn’t quite realize the extent /how much those experiences have affected me. I have found the audio book “complex PTSD” by Pete Walker life changing , it was actually recommended by a group member here. It’s a great place to talk about your experiences and learn from others and feel understood. I I hope that you find this group helpful.

 

[satelliteskin]

Hello everyone, I have never joined or used a forum before, so I don't know any of the rules or common behaviors.

I am 45, almost 46, and I have been actively pursuing any avenue I can find to heal from CPTSD for almost 3 years. I have done IOP, PHP, and Residential. I completed TMS treatment a few days ago and I am in therapy 2x week using IFS, brainspotting, and some somatic treatments. I knew I had trauma from dealing with my daughter's mental health issues but under that I have discovered multiple childhood traumas, religious trauma, domestic abuse, and SA. Most of I didn't even know was there. I look at therapy and my mental health as an onion, exposing new layers every time you remove a layer, except sometimes there are traumas hiding and when you remove a layer they explode out like a spring-loaded bomb.

I cannot find a regular support group that fits my needs, so I am hoping to find support and connection here.

Hi Kanga,

I’m also new here! I’ve done a few support groups/group settings but they’ve never been exactly what I wanted/needed, and I’m also hopeful that this forum will be more appropriate for me, and for you.

I really appreciate your post, largely because you remind me of… not of my mother, exactly, but what my mother might have to say if she began unpacking her trauma. Which, more than likely, will start (if she ever starts) with her reflecting on our relationship and my difficulties when I was a teenager.

Specifically, I think, my mother’s healing will start with the ways/reasons she couldn’t protect me from the traumatic experiences I had (though she did her best); the reasons she felt helpless to stop what was happening to me, helpless to help me heal and cope. There were a lot of things in my trauma history she was triggered and paralyzed by, I think, in ways that (seem to have) threatened to awake old memories of hers, and it made it really hard for her to be pragmatic and intervene when I needed her. And now she’s been unpacking that guilt because she’s had to.

She has started to acknowledge that she’d benefit from unpacking the trauma she knows she has. But now she’s told me outright that she’s scared because she knows there’s so much stuff that she hasn’t ever been able to think about.

I was terrified of starting to address my own PTSD, so I tried to ignore and deny it for years before I finally HAD to deal with it before it killed me, and I was only 19 when I “finally” had to start doing therapy… but my mom has been keeping the extent + realities of her trauma largely tucked away for 50+ years (she’s 65 now), so I can’t even imagine how much scarier it would be for her, or has been for you…

Point being. I think it’s bad*ss that you’re here and that you’re working on it. I think my mom thinks it’s too late for her to start. I hope she’ll be as brave as you someday, though I won’t really be able to hold it against her if she can’t.

Thank you for being here.

Cheers and I hope you’re well doing well.