A Supporter's Story

[Zobek]

I have not slept more than 3 hours at a time since my ex told me about one of her triggers that was in my house. I had a small thing of petroleum jelly as I was using it to keep a surgery wound moist on my back. It was sitting in the bathroom and she had moved it out of sight. Later that night she told me she had moved it while we were cuddling in bed. I stayed calm, felt total devastation, and got out of bed. I went into the bathroom, grabbed the jelly and took it outside and threw it in my trash dumpster. I came back inside and told her what I had done. I gave her a hug, and just laid in bed awake all night terrified.

This has been haunting me for almost 2 months. I am sure after this night is when I must have really fallen into a codependent mode in our relationship. I probably pushed her away because I was constantly worried about her, and she kept having bad days. I know there was nothing I could do, and now that it is over, I just cannot stop thinking about her.

I just needed to tell this to someone.

 

[Buwone]

I hear that you are hurting, but I'm struggling to understand why? What is it that is getting in the way of sleep and now stopping you from thinking about her?

 

[Awit]

I think the lack of awareness in my life of knowing anyone with such pain in theirs. I'm reaching out to get help for myself.