selfcompassion
Bronze Member
In so much ways I'm so much better, stronger healthier. I still do grief work and have times of depression. It's like all the grief, lonliness, despair, from before I was born is surfacing from my subscious.
I want this. I know feeling these long repressed emotions will set me free. I have days when I can just sit and feel. It's hard, because I feel out of control, and frankly, it's painful.
The twist is the grief. When a chunk of me heals...when I claim a piece of myself back I've never had before, I realize just how lost I was and for how long. I then grieve this loss as well. It's a strange combination of grief and gratitude.
I've done a lot of this work in isolation for almost two years. Who gets this shit anyways other than a shrink. I'm fortunate I don't have emotional flashbacks at work for the most part...very fortunate.
I try to accept all my emotions in a loving self compassionate way. It's hard to do this at times. I try not to judge if I smoke, over eat, feel depressed, am tired, procrastinate, etc.
Healing and managing my complex PTSD, recovering from codependecy, and manage life in general gets wearing at times.
I just want a balance now. You'd think having fun wouldn't be so difficult.....
I want this. I know feeling these long repressed emotions will set me free. I have days when I can just sit and feel. It's hard, because I feel out of control, and frankly, it's painful.
The twist is the grief. When a chunk of me heals...when I claim a piece of myself back I've never had before, I realize just how lost I was and for how long. I then grieve this loss as well. It's a strange combination of grief and gratitude.
I've done a lot of this work in isolation for almost two years. Who gets this shit anyways other than a shrink. I'm fortunate I don't have emotional flashbacks at work for the most part...very fortunate.
I try to accept all my emotions in a loving self compassionate way. It's hard to do this at times. I try not to judge if I smoke, over eat, feel depressed, am tired, procrastinate, etc.
Healing and managing my complex PTSD, recovering from codependecy, and manage life in general gets wearing at times.
I just want a balance now. You'd think having fun wouldn't be so difficult.....
