I have been putting off posting since I posted my "introduction". I cant help but feel like i shouldn't ralk about the abuse.
I feel like it doesn't matter, I should be over it and that other people have more important things to worry about. I feel like I am wrong for talking about it.it is embarrassing beyond belief.
This is my third time trying to write a post. Any time I try, I delete it.
I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years. I escaped in 2008.
My abuser was a woman. She tried to kill me. She enjoyed when I was in pain. I moved states away, but I can not escape the fear. I try to pretend it didnt matter or that it wasnt that bad, but I know it was. I need to seek a therapist, but I dont know how to talk about this. I had a therapist once. I cried in every appointment and it triggered nightmares. Once I was finally able to speak w my therapist about some of the abuse she told me i couldnt see her anymore due to her not having the correct liscence for my insurance. I dont want to open up to someone and be dissapointed like last time. It is so embarrassing to say that i was abused for so long.
People dont know lesbian relationships can be abusive. It isnt conceivable to most people that women can rape. I feel like i need to explain that i couldnt get away. That i wasnt allowed to leave the house. I was isolated, beaten down and intimidated.
I only got away alive because of a hurricane and power outage in September 2008. This was a little under a month after she attempted to suffocate me. I still had cuts in my mouth From my teeth cutting the inside of my mouth. I was just waiting for a chance to run. I knew i needed to get away if i wanted to live. I had a constant headache because she broke my glasses in the same incident. We went to stay with her mother who still had electricity. she hit me in front of her little sister because she didnt like something i said..i dont remember what. I stood up for myself and said it wasnt right. There was a long struggle and i tried to get away. Her mom called the police while she had me in an arm bar in my car when i was trying to get away.
I got away and lost most of my belongings. I waited to get a job and when I finally found one it felt that it was meant to be. I worked at a womens shelter for survivors of domestic and violence for 4 years. I loved that job and only left when i moved out of state to live with a transgendered man who is now my husband. He is a kind gentle person and he is going through a healing process with his own ptsd.
I feel like it doesn't matter, I should be over it and that other people have more important things to worry about. I feel like I am wrong for talking about it.it is embarrassing beyond belief.
This is my third time trying to write a post. Any time I try, I delete it.
I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years. I escaped in 2008.
My abuser was a woman. She tried to kill me. She enjoyed when I was in pain. I moved states away, but I can not escape the fear. I try to pretend it didnt matter or that it wasnt that bad, but I know it was. I need to seek a therapist, but I dont know how to talk about this. I had a therapist once. I cried in every appointment and it triggered nightmares. Once I was finally able to speak w my therapist about some of the abuse she told me i couldnt see her anymore due to her not having the correct liscence for my insurance. I dont want to open up to someone and be dissapointed like last time. It is so embarrassing to say that i was abused for so long.
People dont know lesbian relationships can be abusive. It isnt conceivable to most people that women can rape. I feel like i need to explain that i couldnt get away. That i wasnt allowed to leave the house. I was isolated, beaten down and intimidated.
I only got away alive because of a hurricane and power outage in September 2008. This was a little under a month after she attempted to suffocate me. I still had cuts in my mouth From my teeth cutting the inside of my mouth. I was just waiting for a chance to run. I knew i needed to get away if i wanted to live. I had a constant headache because she broke my glasses in the same incident. We went to stay with her mother who still had electricity. she hit me in front of her little sister because she didnt like something i said..i dont remember what. I stood up for myself and said it wasnt right. There was a long struggle and i tried to get away. Her mom called the police while she had me in an arm bar in my car when i was trying to get away.
I got away and lost most of my belongings. I waited to get a job and when I finally found one it felt that it was meant to be. I worked at a womens shelter for survivors of domestic and violence for 4 years. I loved that job and only left when i moved out of state to live with a transgendered man who is now my husband. He is a kind gentle person and he is going through a healing process with his own ptsd.
