Acceptance that a family member won’t change

[Justmehere]

A family member is driving me up the wall and to the edge of every breaking point. Someone close to them died over a year ago and since then, they have been just… and asshole to everyone.

I don’t know how to accept they are now this way and it’s not changing. I need to do that so I don’t keep trying anymore to change this.

It’s really getting to me.

 

[Midnightmoon]

No answers but yes, that horrible dawning of realisation that you cant save someone from their own distress is horrible, especially when they are projecting said stress onto everyone and everything else. Would they accept the idea of getting some help independently, grief counselling etc?

 

[Movingforward10]

What's stopping you from accepting it?

Did you have a relationship with them before and now it's changed? Sk it's facing the loss of that relationship? Or dealing with everyone else's upset about how they are behaving?

For me: addressing the longing for the person who never was, helped. And then, putting boundaries in. Working through the anger I had about it. And the unfairness. And now knowing I don't need anything from them, and that this is a them issue.

 

[Jade-]

They may not be an asshole permanently @Justmehere . Grief changes as time goes by.

Maybe it will be easier to accept that this is how they're currently dealing with their grief?