SilverSparkles95
New Here
My mum just doesn't seem to understand my PTSD and how it feels for me, because she didn't have to go through the string of toxic friendships and severe bullying like I did when she was younger, she just seems to think I'm being weird and unreasonable for feeling uncomfortable talking about certain topics from my past, about certain people. The other day we were walking up this road that one of my former "friends" back from when I was a teenager lived and haven't even seen since then, reminding me off it and saying didn't you used to know a girl who lived here, what was her name?! I didn't get angry with her or anything, because of course I realised she was not hitting on a sore point intentionally, so I just started to simply and calmly explain to her that I didn't feel comfortable talking about this, because this was one of my toxic friendships and was during a really hard time for me and there's horrible memories for me there, and triggers my PTSD. She then started asking that I wouldn't surely feel that way about all my past friendships, giving examples, and I said no just the toxic ones that make me uncomfortable, to which she then replied "But I was only bringing up the positive ones just now!" even though I was clearly referring to the toxic one she brought up before.
I then started explaining my PTSD in general, how I feel uncomfortable with certain topics being brought up, and how she or anyone won't know what it's like if they haven't been through it before, but she still seemed dismissive and to think I was being weird, just getting all argumentative and defensive instead, being like "OKAY I've stopped talking about it now why do you keep going on about it to me?!" which was so unfair as she seemed to make out I was just having a go at her even though I wasn't, I was simply trying to explain my general PTSD to her to bring it to light more, but no matter how hard I tried to explain she still didn't seem to understand and think I was reacting weirdly and unreasonably, which was so unfair. She was like that too the last time I tried explaining my PTSD to her, just like she simply didn't want to discuss it anymore, and was being dismissive. Yes I know it was just a simply question but it still reminds me and I feel awkward being put on the spot about topics like that, especially given it was basically a lifetime ago and how far I've come since then, and it was unfair of her to get argumentative and defensive with me thinking I was having a go at her when I wasn't, I was simply explaining in a way to try and raise awareness, and it's hard enough for me to try explaining without someone basically dismissing me and shooting me down for it-it was honestly like talking to a brick wall, like I was being made to feel like a teenager again.
It was only recently as well that I had my PTSD triggered regarding a toxic friendship, with my brother having said mockingly "Oh isn't this girl your best friend" about this other girl who I had a very toxic friendship with and everyone always had a field day laughing at us, because our toxic friendship was so damn entertaining to them, including my brother, and at one point she even kept harassing and plaguing me and that was so very entertaining to my brother too. I've come so far since all that, so being reminded of it all is really hard, especially when I have the PTSD without someone mocking me for that toxic friendship as it is.
But yeah, the way my mum seems to think I'm "weird" for feeling uncomfortable talking about certain topics due to the deep-rooted trauma, the stigma I keep sensing for my PTSD, just makes me feel worse and worse about it. I'm not sure there's ever a way she'd fully understand. It's only mild PTSD tbh so I'm not sure if people really take it seriously unless it's something really severe.
I then started explaining my PTSD in general, how I feel uncomfortable with certain topics being brought up, and how she or anyone won't know what it's like if they haven't been through it before, but she still seemed dismissive and to think I was being weird, just getting all argumentative and defensive instead, being like "OKAY I've stopped talking about it now why do you keep going on about it to me?!" which was so unfair as she seemed to make out I was just having a go at her even though I wasn't, I was simply trying to explain my general PTSD to her to bring it to light more, but no matter how hard I tried to explain she still didn't seem to understand and think I was reacting weirdly and unreasonably, which was so unfair. She was like that too the last time I tried explaining my PTSD to her, just like she simply didn't want to discuss it anymore, and was being dismissive. Yes I know it was just a simply question but it still reminds me and I feel awkward being put on the spot about topics like that, especially given it was basically a lifetime ago and how far I've come since then, and it was unfair of her to get argumentative and defensive with me thinking I was having a go at her when I wasn't, I was simply explaining in a way to try and raise awareness, and it's hard enough for me to try explaining without someone basically dismissing me and shooting me down for it-it was honestly like talking to a brick wall, like I was being made to feel like a teenager again.
It was only recently as well that I had my PTSD triggered regarding a toxic friendship, with my brother having said mockingly "Oh isn't this girl your best friend" about this other girl who I had a very toxic friendship with and everyone always had a field day laughing at us, because our toxic friendship was so damn entertaining to them, including my brother, and at one point she even kept harassing and plaguing me and that was so very entertaining to my brother too. I've come so far since all that, so being reminded of it all is really hard, especially when I have the PTSD without someone mocking me for that toxic friendship as it is.
But yeah, the way my mum seems to think I'm "weird" for feeling uncomfortable talking about certain topics due to the deep-rooted trauma, the stigma I keep sensing for my PTSD, just makes me feel worse and worse about it. I'm not sure there's ever a way she'd fully understand. It's only mild PTSD tbh so I'm not sure if people really take it seriously unless it's something really severe.
