Advice Please

[Dinoma]

I was sexually abused by my foster father from the age of 5 until the age of 12. I had nearly 5 years of counselling to help me with this, and although I feel I am now a well rounded middle aged individual, I got a phonecall this evening that really rattled me and made me shake in my bones.

I have been friends with an older couple for several years. They live about 30 miles away, I suppose I see them around 4 or 5 times a year. They are in their 60s, they have a son that lives at home in a building on their grounds, they are affluent people. Their son is a single parent, his wife died of alcoholism about three years ago. He has three children a boy and 2 girls. The girls are aged 9 and 10.

My friend, the childrens grandmother told me on the phone tonight that she has caught her husband on two occasions pulling one of the girls knickers forward and looking down them.
She said "What are you doing?"
He said "Nothing"

She took the children to one side when he wasn't there and asked if grandad has done that before and both girls said yes. She told them if he does it again they are to turn around the other way and shout THAT'S INNAPROPRIATE!'

Her voice was shaking on the phone when she then told me that she walked into the huge caravan they have in the barn and all the lights were off-the younger girl was in there naked with grandad and she said what the hell are you doing? And he said-oh she has a sore minnie and she was putting cream on it. She asked him did you put the cream there and he said no-she did it.

I have told her under no circumstances should they be on their own with him-she said that would be nearly impossible-I dont think thats good enough-what to do? They are great kids and I would spare anyone the pain of what I went through. Even now I am shivering like a leaf just typing this.

I have said I will be coming to stay the night one weekend in a couple of weeks, I have surveillance equipment she can use. Apart from this, I feel pretty helpless. It brought back alot of feelings for me.
Is there anything else I should do?

 

[Juruk]

Hi,
I understand your anxiety. This should be put firmly in the hands of the authorities. Here in the UK the Social Services or the NSPCC would follow up and investigate. A disclosure can be in person or anonymous but as much detail as possible is best.

Please help these children and stop this going any further.

 

[Enoc]

I agree, the authorities should be told. You are obviously a caring person and it will tear you up inside if you sit by and do nothing about this. Those children need protection and if their grandmother isn't going to do it then someone else will have to. Most places will take reports anonymously and the authorities will take a look. Even if they determine that nothing is going on the record will still be there in case something comes to light later.

I know how hard it will be to make a report but think how hard it will be after if you don't and he really is abusing those children.

 

[Pikimo]

Thank you for your responses. Will update.

 

[Oloje]

I agree with the above. This man's behaviour is highly suspect and you must report it to the appropriate authorities. I realise that the prospect of doing so might cause you distress but it will be as nothing if you later discover the children have been sexually abused. Pro-active prevention is always the best prevention. Good luck.