BloomInWinter
VIP Member
I was a daily drinker from 12 years out to 19, when some kind people (not my family) intervened and referred me to help.
Thank Goodness they did.
I had one relapse (6 months long) after almost 2 years of sobriety...still can't know for sure how long. Much of that time in my life is a blank.
Only you can decide if alcohol being in your life causes enough problems for you that you would be better off without it.
The drinking was bad enough. But drinking in relapse knowing full well I couldn't control it, much less stop, was hell. For me, it wasn't just that I used it to run from my childhood traumas...despite my best efforts, I'd keep creating or at least putting myself in situations where I was making more.
Most of my drinking buddies from back then are dead, very ill, and/or in prison now.
But I have 21 years sober. I never wake up wondering what I did the night before...dreding facing people because I couldn't remember what I did in a blackout. Haven't had hangovers, ruined finances, hurt others.
Hurt myself.
Because I got sober and worked my butt off to stay that way, I took the path literally less travelled.
..and it has made all the difference. Every good thing I have in my life is a direct consequence of getting sober, and going to 12 Step meetings and learning how to live sober. My family couldn't teach me that.
But other recovering people did.
I still wish I could just enjoy a glass of wine...but for me, it was never about the taste. It was a medication of avoidance and anxiety-suppression. Alcohol is very hard on the body in the ever increasing doses it took to accomplish that. I had liver damage at age 19.
An experiment I was challenged with was to try to control my drinking. Sure, I could do it for a night, a week...but I couldn't sustain it. I'd wake up feeling awful, knowing I had failed again.
I hope you're not a problem drinker.
But if you feel you are, there is hope. It is possible to live a life without alcohol.
The PTSD is far worse than my alcoholism. Now, I believe my drinking was in response to my environment, my traumas...my sick family.
I stand alone in my generation as a recovering, functional adult within my family. It was getting help for my drinking that saved me.
Many wishes sent your way for you to find whatever is true for you...and that you receive the support you deserve to take you wherever you want to go in your own healing.
Thank Goodness they did.
I had one relapse (6 months long) after almost 2 years of sobriety...still can't know for sure how long. Much of that time in my life is a blank.
Only you can decide if alcohol being in your life causes enough problems for you that you would be better off without it.
The drinking was bad enough. But drinking in relapse knowing full well I couldn't control it, much less stop, was hell. For me, it wasn't just that I used it to run from my childhood traumas...despite my best efforts, I'd keep creating or at least putting myself in situations where I was making more.
Most of my drinking buddies from back then are dead, very ill, and/or in prison now.
But I have 21 years sober. I never wake up wondering what I did the night before...dreding facing people because I couldn't remember what I did in a blackout. Haven't had hangovers, ruined finances, hurt others.
Hurt myself.
Because I got sober and worked my butt off to stay that way, I took the path literally less travelled.
..and it has made all the difference. Every good thing I have in my life is a direct consequence of getting sober, and going to 12 Step meetings and learning how to live sober. My family couldn't teach me that.
But other recovering people did.
I still wish I could just enjoy a glass of wine...but for me, it was never about the taste. It was a medication of avoidance and anxiety-suppression. Alcohol is very hard on the body in the ever increasing doses it took to accomplish that. I had liver damage at age 19.
An experiment I was challenged with was to try to control my drinking. Sure, I could do it for a night, a week...but I couldn't sustain it. I'd wake up feeling awful, knowing I had failed again.
I hope you're not a problem drinker.
But if you feel you are, there is hope. It is possible to live a life without alcohol.
The PTSD is far worse than my alcoholism. Now, I believe my drinking was in response to my environment, my traumas...my sick family.
I stand alone in my generation as a recovering, functional adult within my family. It was getting help for my drinking that saved me.
Many wishes sent your way for you to find whatever is true for you...and that you receive the support you deserve to take you wherever you want to go in your own healing.
