Allowing Yourself To Cry

[watundah]

Cool Cat, I am this way ,too. I cried at my father's funeral about 7 years ago, then last week when my cat was put down. I start to feel tears well up in therapy and fight those bad boys down. I will tear up in movies, but as far as a good cry - only for huge loss, apparently. A recent T suggested that watching my mother cry who was a victim of my father's abuse meant weakness and hopelessness. Perhaps that is part of it? At any rate, I'm afraid IF I ever do get in touch with the feelings that are hiding underneath, it's going to be a sob fest!

Sometimes I think it's also part of someone else said - feels embarrassing to cry in front of my T.

 

[TonyG]

Are you on meds? I have lost emotion with my medication so crying is not possible and on the up side I have no reaction to abusive people, Normally depending on where I am decides my reaction. At work I would argue my point and on the street my abuser would get punch in the nose, people only abuse me once, now I just don't react I just give them a blank look, I still feel like punching them but I have no anger. Lashing out is not a solution to anything and has gotten me in trouble many times but it makes me feel good instantly.

 

[shell]

I really struggle with crying in therapy, it took me years, to let the first tear drop. Fear of being seen, being vulnerable and just letting go of holding back my emotions felt absolutely terrifying.

Crying in therapy is not the worst thing that can happen, I just thought it was. When I really worked though my fears of what would happen it got a little easier. Needing to be in control holds me back from processing emotionally, I know it and my T commented on it the other day. When I can feel that I am going to cry, I pause and try to collect myself, eventually I end up crying but I still fight it so much. I still apologise for crying, as if I am wrong.

 

[Cool Cat]

How about when you can feel it coming, just like keeping it in, trying not to exhale to let it out. Thats as close as i get

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Cool Cat
I know how you feel, I haven't actually cried in a long time, I can't let myself show any weakness, as far as I come is feeling depressed, sad and wanting to cry, lost the ability... Just the bad feeling left. Sending hugs if you accept and I hope it gets better for you! :hug: