General Always Frustrated

[sad2010]

I dont post often, but tonight I just need to get it out.

His father died a year ago, when he went home we had been dating for 6 months, it was most perfect. The day after his father passed, my dad was rushed to hospital, so I had my obligations also, we talked daily, he even called when they left the graveyard, he knew I would have to turn the phone off at the hospital. He had tried to call me when the phone was off, when I returned the call, I heard the phone ring, and then it stopped so he turned the phone off.

He grew most distant by the day, ( our relationship is a long distant one)

When he finally got home we talked but he was different, I talked to his brother in law and he mentioned he thought he had PTSD, so away I went searching.

He was always accusing me of everything, always on alert, then I find out that he had a little fling with his step sister, ( gross), so now, he went home again it has been a year for Thanksgiving.

I havent heard a word from him, I know what I should do, but I keep hanging on the person I met will be back, in this past year it was back and forth and always on edge.

I am just so tired now.

<Paragraph breaks inserted for readability, by Amethist>

 

[Eleanor]

Hello sad2010 - welcome to the forum.

I am sorry you are feeling tired and hopeless - it is not a pleasant place to be. Also, I am so sorry for your loss of your dad. Losing a parent is... more than life changing - it is more like it is world changing. Good parent or bad, we don't live in the same world after they pass that we did before. It is a major adjustment.

Do you have some kind of a commitment with your guy? Obviously you have a commitment TO him, but have you two talked about his commitment to you? My intention with what I am about to say next is not to be discouraging, but to try to be realistic - six months is not very long to learn who someone (especially if they have PTSD) is. Given that he did something objectively icky (stepsister) are you sure he is who/what you think he is? He moved away? Is he moving back? Finally, if this is what this relationship is after a year or so, it is likely what it is going to be - is it what you want?

Respectfully,
Eleanor

 

[sad2010]

My head is screaming at me.. but the stupid heart just cant/wont let go. I have always been in control of my life
and this man, i just fell so hard for him,,and I understood he was grieving, but this past year has been a roller coaster. Perhaps I am still in a state of shock/disbelief... I hear what you are saying and my logical side already knows this

How do I let go of something i wanted so much :o(

 

[Eleanor]

My head is screaming at me.. but the stupid heart just cant/wont let go.

How do I let go of something i wanted so much :eek:(

(((((sad2010)))) No answer for that one. Just keep breathing, I guess.:cry: In the meantime, start a search for the guy your heart thought he was?