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always losing time, every day the day seems to suddenly vanish before my eyes

#13
yes i have an appointment in a few weeks from now and not sure if im hallucinating, or if im being harrassed by spirits, or if im skitzo, or whats going on.... my guess is probably a little bit of each thing.... actually a lot of each thing. its been going on constantly all day today. i keep hearing faint whispers but i can never understand what its saying, when i try to drown it out with other noises it seems to become even more noticeable. things keep turning on and off by themselves. im on antidepressants, i dont think im depressed anymore, i just have all this psychotic stuff going on. i was diagnosed with ptsd but that was a while ago before all this other stuff started happening. i have a lot of skitzophrenic symtoms.... however people who are skitzo usually undersstand what the voices are saying to them. since i cant understand the voices does that mean i dont have it? i worry that as time goes on i might start understanding them... but i dont really want to understand them... id like for them to just shut up. i hearing a buzzing sounds too and im terrified of bugs, but the buzzing sound comes from a distance, its not right in my ear like tinnitus would be. it feels like someone is lightly brushing there hand over my body.... in different spots... all throughout the day. i startle and scream over my own tactile hallucinitions sometimes. thats what makes me feel like a total nut job more than anything. and it seems like everyday just vanishes before my eyes. it seems like an hour went by but the whole day is already over. thats how every day goes lately. i also have depersonalization, like sometimes when im looking in the mirror i feel like im not inside my body, and like im observing myself from outside my body, kinda doesnt feel like its me moving my body, but i know it is. i dont know why all this is happening or how to help it? im going to see a psychiatrist but have to wait a few weeks for the appointment.
I would suggest looking for a therapist specialized in trauma/PTSD and with experience in dissociative disorders.

The voices could also be due to different parts trying to communicate stuff, even if you don't clearly hear them (I experience these "voices" more like thoughts that are not mine). The tactile hallucinations could also be body memories--flashbacks. The seeing your body from far away/up above sounds like depersonalization... I've experienced them all. My therapist, who is a ptsd/trauma therapist is getting consultation from a specialist in dissociative disorders so she can help me better.

Sending love 💜.
 

stranger2myself!

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Thread starter #14
I would suggest looking for a therapist specialized in trauma/PTSD and with experience in dissociative disorders.

The voices could also be due to different parts trying to communicate stuff, even if you don't clearly hear them (I experience these "voices" more like thoughts that are not mine). The tactile hallucinations could also be body memories--flashbacks. The seeing your body from far away/up above sounds like depersonalization... I've experienced them all. My therapist, who is a ptsd/trauma therapist is getting consultation from a specialist in dissociative disorders so she can help me better.

Sending love 💜.
i
i dont have dissociative identity disorder because i dont feel like there is several different people inside me who switch out, isnt that what its like to have dissociative identity disorder? however i do dissociatiate, like sometimes ill get half way through a task before i even realize what im doing, and than ill be like "wait...WHY am i doing this?" is that part of dissociation too? i also have a hard time trying to communicate with people sometimes, like its hard to put my thoughts into words.
 
#15
i
i dont have dissociative identity disorder because i dont feel like there is several different people inside me who switch out, isnt that what its like to have dissociative identity disorder? however i do dissociatiate, like sometimes ill get half way through a task before i even realize what im doing, and than ill be like "wait...WHY am i doing this?" is that part of dissociation too? i also have a hard time trying to communicate with people sometimes, like its hard to put my thoughts into words.
Dissociation is on a spectrum. There is a different dissociative disorder called OSDD in which there is severe dissociation but not quite as in DID. Generally, when there is lots of dissociation there will be other types as well, such as depersonalization or amnesia.
I am sorry you are struggling so much. specialized therapy helps a lot.
 
#16
I lost several years after the assaults and still haven't regained a normal relationship with time. Years are like months, months like days and it seems the sun goes down the moment I wake.

It is this disassociation that remains the most frightening about my journey
 
#17
yes i have an appointment in a few weeks from now and not sure if im hallucinating, or if im being harrassed by spirits, or if im skitzo, or whats going on.... my guess is probably a little bit of each thing.... actually a lot of each thing. its been going on constantly all day today. i keep hearing faint whispers but i can never understand what its saying, when i try to drown it out with other noises it seems to become even more noticeable. things keep turning on and off by themselves. im on antidepressants, i dont think im depressed anymore, i just have all this psychotic stuff going on. i was diagnosed with ptsd but that was a while ago before all this other stuff started happening. i have a lot of skitzophrenic symtoms.... however people who are skitzo usually undersstand what the voices are saying to them. since i cant understand the voices does that mean i dont have it? i worry that as time goes on i might start understanding them... but i dont really want to understand them... id like for them to just shut up. i hearing a buzzing sounds too and im terrified of bugs, but the buzzing sound comes from a distance, its not right in my ear like tinnitus would be. it feels like someone is lightly brushing there hand over my body.... in different spots... all throughout the day. i startle and scream over my own tactile hallucinitions sometimes. thats what makes me feel like a total nut job more than anything. and it seems like everyday just vanishes before my eyes. it seems like an hour went by but the whole day is already over. thats how every day goes lately. i also have depersonalization, like sometimes when im looking in the mirror i feel like im not inside my body, and like im observing myself from outside my body, kinda doesnt feel like its me moving my body, but i know it is. i dont know why all this is happening or how to help it? im going to see a psychiatrist but have to wait a few weeks for the appointment.
I’ve gotten myself in pretty bad sorts before myself. I’d take note how much sleep you are getting. What about trying to get to sleep? Any voices? Onset schizophrenia I’ve read is very unpleasant to say the least. Voices come on like a freight train and literally prevents sleep. Inner chatter on the other hand can be bothersome and make sleep difficult but can usually be managed by relieving stress.

Sometimes I get stuck during the day ruminating because I am mad about something or whatever. If I let this process go on too long and I am also busy doing some thing, I start hearing things too and towards the end of the night maybe even seeing things a little bit. But I know it’s stress. I know it’s lack of sleep also. Obsessing and focusing on anything too long seems to draw that out of me. Worth a thought… Check your breathing while it’s happening. Unmanaged stress and anxiety ramps up occurrences of PTSD symptoms. In fact, managed well, a lot of people see most of their problems just vanish. The trick is getting there.
 
#18
i
i dont have dissociative identity disorder because i dont feel like there is several different people inside me who switch out, isnt that what its like to have dissociative identity disorder? however i do dissociatiate, like sometimes ill get half way through a task before i even realize what im doing, and than ill be like "wait...WHY am i doing this?" is that part of dissociation too? i also have a hard time trying to communicate with people sometimes, like its hard to put my thoughts into words.
That very very much resonates with me as well. Especially the losing objects, misplacing things. There is entirely way too much going on in our heads. Left my own devices, I can be a mess and without God as I know it, if I actually remember it’s there, can help me ground. Curious? Do you experience DPDR? I have about one episode per year at varying lengths of time. People are asking if you are dissociating. I kind of wondered myself but the honest to God‘s truth is dissociating is one of the things that will break the cycle you are talking about. There are some days I pray I just sit my butt down and dissociate and shut my mouth. Not that you have those issues but dissociating will stop the obsession. There are certainly other methods of grounding that work in a more meaningful way of course. I scored very high on the DID tests perhaps you do too. I however do not meet the criteria of dissociative identity disorder either. But likely from childhood I did build myself a complicated mess of a personality.
 
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#19
I suffered some unintelligible voices and weird interference like static on a radio and radio dials being turned, when I suffered from psychosis. I was never diagnosed with schizophrenia but I did with very, very low levels of Vitamin B12. When I had injections to get my levels up, the weird static and unintelligible voices disappeared.

Maybe worth getting your nutrient levels checked, to make sure it's not to do with a deficiency of B12, like mine?
 
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