Am I Experiencing Some Sort Of Ptsd?

[CatsAreTheBEST]

Hello, this is my first time on a page like this. I don't really know what's going on with me...
(Warning: This is a really long backstory. Sorry)

In November last year I had a really bad experience with my parents. They cornered me in a room and yelled at me for not taking a pill for my cold symptoms.At first was fine with my mom yelling at me, but my dad had butted in because I was disrespecting my mom somehow by not drinking the water for the pill. I was really sick so I was taking a really long time to drink the water... It sounds dumb but the situation got bad really fast. I got freaked out so I went into the guest room to calm down because they were both yelling at me, but they just followed me.

Having them both there really scared me and I started having a panic attack. They wouldn't stop so I just sat there hyperventilating and yelling at them to leave. My dad kept leaving and coming back because he was annoyed that I was crying and breathing loudly. He doesn't really believe in panic attacks...

Anyways, I was just really queasy and I still didn't drink the water from the water bottle because I was shaking so bad. Eventually my dad came in and threw the water at me. Jesus I can't even write this without crying. He was so mad. He kinda pulled my leg and I just freaked out even more. My mom brought a towel and he shoved it in my face. I knew he wouldn't do anything but you don't think logically in a panic attack. I thought he was suffocating me. He said he would kill me. He said he was joking but it felt so real. He said some shit about having a "work attack" and being productive instead. At one point my mom was laughing at the doorway because they didn't think I was actually scared. Somewhere in the middle of this my dad hit the wall behind me with his belt. He's never hit me, but it was terrifying.

After a few days I managed to suppress everything. I don't know anyone well enough to tell this kind of stuff to, so I just tried to forget about it. I tried telling my sister, but she got mad at me for being a crybaby.

Now, 2 months later, it all came back. Like half an hour ago I was saying goodnight to my mom. She jokingly grabbed a bottle of holy water she had and tried to splash me a bit to "get my demons out". This is a normal thing that we joke about and I didn't think much of it. But when I moved away from her she followed me and I got kinda scared. I ran into another room and she caught up with me and splashed me with a handful of water. Something snapped and I immediately started hyperventilating and tears were pouring down my face so fast. It took like 10 minutes to calm down and I just feel numb now.

Nothing else has happened since then. I haven't freaked out when I see water bottles so I don't know if this is just something that will happen with my parents. I haven't even thought about what happened in the last 3 weeks and I haven't had any nightmares about the incident. For a few weeks after I had a spike in panic attacks and I frequently had to calm myself at school so no one would hear me. This usually happened when people mentioned parents. One specific incident was in my peer helping class at school when a student said that teens should talk to their parents if they feel like they are experiencing depression. I think it's because my parents came from a place where mental illness isn't a real thing.

Is there something going on, or just some leftover mistrust?

 

[Fadeaway]

Unless you had a traumatic experience you aren't disclosing, I would have to say no. nothing you described would fall under the criteria for causing PTSD.

It is possible that you are suffering from an anxiety disorder but no one here can make that diagnosis. Compounded by the fact that you're probably feeling like your parents aren't understanding how you feel nor validating your feeling. I think you would be hard-pressed to find a teenager actually does feel like their parents understand them.

Your dad over reacted and messed up with the water, and I am sure it startled you, but it wouldn't be considered abusive, The fact that it did affect you so much tells me that it was highly uncharacteristic of your father. Parents aren't perfect, they make bad choices sometimes, but honestly, he probably did think you were being disrespectful.

You are a teenager, withdrawing from your parents is pretty normal. You are in that stage where you are moving from being depentnt on your parents for everything and learning how to become an independent adult. That includes emotional distancing which could account for your reaction when people talk about parents. A form of emotional separation anxiety perhaps.

The rules for the relationships with your parents is changing, both you and your parents are learning to navigate this change and can be a cause for anxiety.

 

[ShodokanJenn]

I can tell what happened to you was really traumatic for you. It doesn't fall under the criteria for causing PTSD, and your symptoms are different from PTSD as well. That doesn't mean it wasn't traumatic, though - it absolutely was. Do you have someone you can trust to talk this through with you? A close friend, a teacher, a counselor, clergy, or other trusted person? That might help.

 

[Justmehere]

Having a father tell you he would kill you as a joke while in the middle of a panic attack is kind of screwed up, and may have lead your brain to associate the event with life and death levels of fear, and now your brain and body are returning back to that panic in a similar circumstance. While the threat of death was a joke, the perception of life and death danger in the moment was real.

It's impossible and dangerous to seek a diagnosis by Internet, especially because there is no way to know all the factors here that could be missed.

It is an upsetting event that happened and you are suffering from real panic attacks now.

What you describe doesn't really suggest full blown PTSD, but think there is enough cause to talk to your parents about this and to seek out seeing a counselor to sort it out so that the panic attacks don't keep happening. Even leaning some techniques to manage anxiety may help resolve the matter a bit. I hope your parents also work on keeping them sleeves calmer as well.

 

[Deleted member 32731]

I will not say you have or don't have PTSD, as I am not a professional and I don't want to lead you on the wrong belief.
However, I agree with justmehere. Saying something like that while having a panic attack is just screwed up. If he 'doesn't believe' in panic attacks he probably did not know you were even experiencing one, so he thought you were overreacting. That doesn't excuse that awful behavior, just might be a reason why.
And yes, do talk to your parents about seeing a counselor. He/she can help you a lot.

Best of luck:)