Analyzing Dreams and Uncovering the Subconscious Mind : Analyzing Dreams and Uncovering the Subconsc

[Awakening]

The dream is set in the house of my childhood but I'm an adult.

I'm having a dinner party. I've made dinner for my husband.

I find him the bathroom. He has his back to me. The sink is filled with water and there is the dinner in the sink of water. There is also blood in the water.

My husband is holding a knife that is dripping with blood, and he has blood over him and he is trying to clean himself up. His quite calm about it.

I ask to take look, and when he turns around, he has cut his eye. He eye is still in tact but he has cut around the coloured part of the eye (the iris?). He has blinded himself.

I then see that he is quite panicked. I feel so sick and so scared but I act calm for his sake. I can't believe he hasn't called for help and has just been calmly trying to fix it in the bathroom whilst I've been having a dinner party.

I tell him everything is going to be alright, I'll fix it. He says it's bad isn't it. I say it's a bit bad, but it's going to be okay.

I feel so sick even as I type this. The fear is huge. I feel so so so sorry for my husband, I ache. I feel super protective of him, and so hurt that his hurt.

I wake from this dream and I cry.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi awakening, Glad to see you back!

The dream is set in the house of my childhood but I'm an adult.
***The mindset that was created in this home has carried over into your current thinking/psyche.

I'm having a dinner party. I've made dinner for my husband.
***You want to nourish him mentally and physically so he stays healthy.

I find him the bathroom. He has his back to me. The sink is filled with water and there is the dinner in the sink of water. There is also blood in the water.
***Bathrooms and toilets generally represent ridding oneself of waste. You’re in there, but you haven't actually sat down on the seat and flushed yet LOL.
The sink full of water represents your emotions about nourishing him while trying to keep him happy and healthy. You feel he might turn his back on you if you don't rid yourself of the problems you think are affecting him that are due to your trauma. Maybe you’re worried that your problems will cause him to become unhealthy. Blood generally represents the passion for life but I'm beginning to wonder if that is the case in trauma dreams? (This will be an ongoing learning experience here, so take it with a grain of salt) So the food/water/blood are all in the sink. The sink is for cleaning our hands after ridding oneself of waste. But it is not going to happen because all of these issues are in the way. There is more work to do here before you can wash your hands of this concern.

My husband is holding a knife that is dripping with blood, and he has blood over him and he is trying to clean himself up. He is quite calm about it.
***I believe here he represents you. Your trying to clean yourself up, get stabilized and you have tried to remain calm.

I ask to take look, and when he turns around, he has cut his eye. He eye is still in tact but he has cut around the colored part of the eye (the iris?). He has blinded himself.
***Again he represents you and how you feel about him here. It appears in part that you don't want to see/accept something (provided he can still see out of the other eye). I think you have disassociated in order to remain calm because you don't want him to see what you go through. You're worried it will harm him if he sees your pain and then he won't accept or can't deal with you.

I then see that he is quite panicked. I feel so sick and so scared but I act calm for his sake. I can't believe he hasn't called for help and has just been calmly trying to fix it in the bathroom whilst I've been having a dinner party.
***You feel that you are trying to fix your problems on your own because you don't want to bother him with them even though you feel panicked. You would prefer to nourish him while you rid yourself of your waste/problems while he is comfortable.

I tell him everything is going to be all right, I'll fix it. He says it's bad isn't it. I say it's a bit bad, but it's going to be okay.
***Again you decide that you want to fix these problems on your own but you realize you may need a little bit of his help even though you don't want to depend on him. (I think this is the thing you don't want to see; needing him to help you)

I feel so sick even as I type this. The fear is huge. I feel so so so sorry for my husband, I ache. I feel super protective of him, and so hurt that his hurt.

***Oddly enough I haven't had a dream like this, but I certainly feel that I am harming my husband with my problems and causing him stress too. So I understand what your going through here and I empathize. I tried to lay it on my son one night so I didn't have to burden my husband. Trying to talk to my son didn't go over well and I will never do that again.

Unfortunately this dream is telling you that you’re not ready to deal with this on your own. You see this fact in part (one good eye), but yet you want to be blind to the fact you need his help sometimes (one bad eye). IMO. Maybe you could talk to as many other people about what is bothering you that understands you have PTSD. In doing this it will take some of the stress off of your husband and relieve you of the guilt your carrying around about it?

Good luck!
Tammy

 

[Awakening]

Thank you so much Tammy.

I've been having such a tough time. I actually dreamt this two or three nights ago.

Last night I had a big breakdown and started some serious dialogue with my husband about what's going on. That I'm struggling big time.

I guess this dream only encourages me to keep pursuing that path.

Bottom line: I need more support, too scared to ask for it.

 

[tude]

Hi Awakening. Thanks for sharing your dream. It helped relieve my own concerns about sharing overly graphic and/or disturbing dream content within this social group. This week I realized how much I do censor my experiences and I was overly compelled to do so with the dreamgang.

I can so relate to your bottom line... as I too find myself there as well.

 

[linasmom]

Hey Tammy,

I think both of those police interpretations could be true, it's very cool how that can happen.

I do have rage issues - though, I have learned to calm down in my later years and internalize it instead of acting out. I have been in "knock down, drag out" fights in my younger days, not something I'm very proud of, in fact, quite embarrassed about.

It seems, even today, the police in that dream still haunts me. I think about the image of them everyday, there were two of them (which could represent the two sides of me.) Kind of like "good cop, bad cop".

Anyway, I have two more dreams for you, Dream Mistress!!

 

[linasmom]

Here is another nightmare that happened along with the last few I've posted, I'm not sure if there is enough here to be interpreted -


My husband and I were out by the pond and the bees were swarming. My husband caught one in his hand and killed it by smacking his hand together but when he went to show it to me, it came back alive. (by the way, I'm terrified of bugs) Then, for some reason, it turned into night-time and my husband and I were all of sudden on the opposite side of the backyard from the pond. We have a waterfall going into the pond and then instead of the water falling, it started sucking the water back up, the noise was unbearably loud, this gurgling sucking noise, and then the chord that feeds the pump unplugged itself and whipped across the yard. Then a few guys, really tall, in masks, started jumping up and down and running over towards us. I started yelling, not just in my sleep but out loud, it actually woke me up.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

I am so glad you guys are starting to feel secure enough to post your dreams here. I understand how you could be afraid of the content and worried what others think about you for it, but please know that I have seen far worse dreams of my own and in other dream groups.

None of it bothers me to read and I really want to help everyone feel better about their dreams. We were all violated and seen some really graphic things in our lives so it is only human to dream about them. But try to remember that dream symbols usually represent something else in life.

I'm not sure why our mind chooses to use blood and gore to express it and I have some theories on it. But in my own personal experience it's just fear coming forward while we sleep and we are off guard to the repression of graphic details in our mind.

I can barely remember one dream a week these days, and I used to remember at least 3 a night and they weren't good dreams either. I hope everyone gets to experience this relief at some point in their healing because it's like taking a monkey off of you back.

Tammy

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi Rachel,
That is correct about good cop and bad cop and we all have that in us. Why do the images of police bother you? I couldn’t find your trauma diary so if you want to PM me you can.

Here is the dream:

Water represents emotions and if the pond was muddy then your feeling bad or depressed. If the water is clear then you should be thinking clearly with regard to your emotions. Was there anything in the pond and how did it look? This is just something to think about when you post a dream about water. See if you can remember to describe how the water looks. (If you can remember, sometimes the symbols are implied and we don’t see them) Same with houses, it’s best to give any examples or details about the house and what condition it is in.

Bees can represent something is bothering you. Maybe it has to do with working because there is a connotation of “busy bee” connected to them. Hands represent how we reach out to each other and I feel that your smacking yourself (symbolically) over whatever is bugging you. I believe your husband represents you in this part so when he shows it to you it’s like your looking at yourself trying to figure everything out. When the bee comes back to life that would mean the thing bugging you is not going to die right now and will continue to bug you until you figure it out or get your emotions under control and that could be why it turned into night. Night represents the fear we repress or depression.

You are feeling on opposite sides of yourself (ambivalent) about something. The back yard represents the things about ourselves we want to keep from other people, or don’t want them to see about us.

The waterfall in this dream would represent a lot of emotions being internalized since the water is going back up in it, instead of falling out. The noise is your internal thinking and nagging at yourself, and it’s driving you crazy and you’re ready to come un-plugged (anger). The cord whipping across the yard is you punishing yourself with lashings of internal dialogue about the things you don’t want others to see in you or about you (backyard)

The guys in masks are your shadow. The masks reiterate that there is something you don’t want others to see about you.

I think this dream is telling you that you need a positive outlet for the anger right now. Don’t hold your emotions in either. You can write about them or share them with your therapist.

Take care
Tammy

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Here is a poem I found a couple of days ago.

Mirrors and Masks

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear
a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled, for
God's sake, don't be fooled. I give the impression that I'm secure, that
all is sunny and unruffled, with me, within as well as without, that
confidence is my name and coolness my game; that the water's calm and I'm in
command, and that I need no one. But don't believe me. Please.

My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask. Beneath this lies no
complacence. Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, and
aloneness. But I hide this; I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at
the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed. That's why I
frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant, sophisticated façade
to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a
glance is precisely my salvation. My only salvation. And I know it. That
is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love. It's the only
thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I am worth
something.

But I don't tell you this. I don't dare. I'm afraid to. I'm afraid
your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love. I'm afraid you'll
think less of me, that you'll laugh at me, and your laugh would kill me. I'
m afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm no good, and that you will see
this and reject me. So I play my game, my desperate game, with a façade of
assurance without and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of
masks. And my life becomes a front.

I idly chatter to you in the suave tone of surface talk. I tell you
everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what's everything, of what
's crying within me; so when I'm going through my routine, do not be fooled
by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not
saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival, I need to say,
but what I can't say.

I dislike hiding. Honestly! I dislike the superficial game I'm
playing, the phony game. I really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and
me, but you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand, even when
that's the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank state of breathing death. Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to
understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very
small wings, very feeble wings, but wings. With your sensitivity and
sympathy and your power of understanding, you can breathe life into me. I
wan t you to know that.

I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be the
creator of the person that is me, if you choose to. Please choose to. You
alone can break down that wall behind which I tremble; you alone can remove
my mask. You alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic and
uncertainty, form my lonely person. Do not pass me by. Please do not pass
me by.

It will not be easy for you. Along conviction of worthlessness builds
strong walls The nearer you approach me, the blinder I strike back. I
fight against the very thing I cry out for. But I am told that love is
stronger than walls, and in this lays my hope. Please try to beat down
those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands, for a child is very
sensitive. Who am I, you may wonder. I am someone you know very well. I
am every man and I am every woman you meet.

Anonymous

 

[tude]

I just awoke from a nap feeling panicked. My dream seemed to take place on-board ship. It was extensive and expansive, yet confined.

I remember trying to seek solitude.

My cell phone screen was unclear and unfamiliar.

I got stuck climbing up through a narrow, intricate infrastructure.

Someone came to my living quarters. I sobbed in their lap. I felt their arms around me.

I watched an odd, theatre perfomance.

I was at a bar. I unsuccessfully tried to convey an uncomfortable personal experience to people. They didn't understand.

Lastly, I had to give a lifeless-looking man in a wheelchair a bath. Prior to getting him in the shower, someone shaved what little hair he had. I left the man alone for a brief moment to get a washcloth. When I returned, someone was there taking care of him. They were getting ready to get him out of the shower even though he didn't get bathed. I felt bad for abandoning him.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi tude, sorry you had a bad dream. I hope you feel better soon.

I just awoke from a nap feeling panicked. My dream seemed to take place on-board ship. It was extensive and expansive, yet confined.
***The ship would represent your journey in life. Your feeling overwhelmed about your feelings of being confined to a certain journey that you’re taking. In other words: Am I on the right path and making the correct choices?

I remember trying to seek solitude.

My cell phone screen was unclear and unfamiliar.
***You’re starting to feel uneasy with yourself even when you try to communicate with others.

I got stuck climbing up through a narrow, intricate infrastructure.
*** You feel that your life has been narrowed down to something very complicated and you feel you may not be able to escape it into something less problematic.

Someone came to my living quarters. I sobbed in their lap. I felt their arms around me.
***You are comforting yourself.

I watched an odd, theatre performance.
***You’re seeing some type of change take place in yourself, and it’s uncharacteristic of you.

I was at a bar. I unsuccessfully tried to convey an uncomfortable personal experience to people. They didn't understand.
***You’re trying to reason with yourself and figure out why this change is taking place.

Lastly, I had to give a lifeless-looking man in a wheelchair a bath. Prior to getting him in the shower, someone shaved what little hair he had. I left the man alone for a brief moment to get a washcloth. When I returned, someone was there taking care of him. They were getting ready to get him out of the shower even though he didn't get bathed. I felt bad for abandoning him.

***The man represents you. You’re feeling unresponsive, and your standing in life has been stripped of its normal elements and feeling confined. You were trying to clean this feeling up, but it appears your thinking about bailing out on this process, and you feel some guilt over it.

 

[spiritofnow]

I love your insights!

Spirit x