Another Battle Won, But Instead of Being Happy I'm Just Tired

[metis-siren]

Hey,

So they ruled in my favour after an appeal in which I had to write two pages of what I've gone through in the past few years while on OSAP to explain why I haven't been able to 'perform' to their standards. That in itself, was both beyond the realm what they should know, and exhausting to rehatch in the midst of the battle with OSAP. Along with a detailed letter from my psychiatrist, all of this was submitted to them, and they ruled in my favour.

But, as the title says, I'm not particularly happy about it, just tired. So tired that I wake up after a night's sleep and the fatigue is so overwhelming that I honestly barely get through the day without a couple naps, and I'm not doing more than the very basics around the apartment. I'm too tired to even go grocery shopping at this point.

I don't know whether to push through the exhaustion and keep moving forward or to give myself some time to just feel this out - as I'm sure I've got some stuff to get through after all of this. The let down of anxiety has been just as tiring as the anxiety itself. How much time can I give myself, I'm up to about 5 days, and I'm still as tired as the first day. It honestly wipes me out to take the dog for a good 45 minute walk.

The only feeling I've had in regards to OSAP (ruling in my favour) has been a mild relief.

Exhausted but still standing,

A. Lauren

 

[Deleted member 541]

Mett,

Could be that you're just tired, but it sounds more like depression to me.....Just a thought.


Wen

 

[2quilt]

tired or depressed?

Congrats on winning your battle! Are you feeding yourself healthy foods, regularly? If you are taking meds, are they working successfully? Do you have a support system of friends with whom you can share this success with, right now? Do you have a good therapist now you can share your success with, or can you find one in a short timeframe if you want to do so? I am asking to see if you are taking care of yourself, and your PTSD needs. If you can't get leave the couch, do you know someone who can come over and help you, make some calls and get you an appointment to get help for PTSD and depression, if you think it's that, soon? Don't wait.

 

[EmeraldRiver]

If it's been 5 days and you HONESTLY don't feel it's due to depression or meds, then welcome to my world. I just push through the fog as best I can. Cat nap when I have to. But, I suffer from severe insomnia - I was unsure from your post if you're getting enough sleep or just waking up feeling unrefreshed.

But, other than don't give up, I don't have much advise. For most people this gets better. You can try meditation, or social activities, which may help you feel like you have more energy. But, I'd be concerned about depression and talk to someone if you feel you need to. If you're in no hurry, why not give yourself a few more days to feel better? 5 days may seem like alot, but you've had way more than 5 days of anxiety, so give your body some time.

 

[hodge]

Hey, Metis,

I'm so glad to hear you've won this battle!!! I don't have much advice for your aftermath, except to rest as you need to. You might give it a try to push yourself to some physical activity like swimming :), but if it doesn't rejuvenate you, you probably need more rest.

Take care, dear.

Hodge

 

[metis-siren]

Thought I'd let you know how things were going briefly:
I've gotten better at being able to go out and such, but I've come to realize its not so much psychological as it is that my fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue are acting up, which explains the lack in energy, which can be aggravated during stressful situations, and during the letdown. So its become a matter of trying to balance things out during the day and not overexert myself. I have to really listen to my body, and I'm getting out for a walk with the dog everyday.
Otherwise, I think the reason I'm not happy about winning the battle just relieved is because there are so many other battles that I have to wage now in other areas, and so this is just one thing down, and the others now need to be handled.

Anyway I'm still coming down from an anxiety attack from an entirely unrelated matter so I'll leave it at that. But thing have gotten better and I'm getting better at handling things, I just need to listen to body cues more honestly sometimes, instead of pushing through or past them.

Many thanks for your thoughts and messages.

Most Sincerely,

A. Lauren

 

[Deleted member 541]

Hey Met,

Glad to know that you are sort of ok.....Try not to think about the future of battles ahead. Just be happy with the ones that you get accomplished, and get to check off your list...I think it will be easier for you to do this....

Hang in there.

Wen

 

[2quilt]

keep us updated

Keep us all updated! We want to hear from you.

 

[metis-siren]

Argh... So I went in to pick up my loan today and assign it to my fees. 'Lo and behold - more bureaucratic bs. I can only pick up a part of my loan, and have to pick up the rest in a month or so, as they don't want you to "blow your money." I spoke to the woman about this explaining that I don't have that sort of money, there's no money for living costs, and what they are doing is making sure I can't pay both my tuition and buy books. The ascribed response - "Well that's the way it's always been." Along with having to go through about 45 minutes of people telling me I was actually only getting half the loan period - the latter half never to be given, or if given, to cover only my tuition - this indeed was yet another stressor.

I've also been receiving many phone calls from a friend whom I am having some difficulties with. All in all, a stressful day and my emotions are getting the best of me, I'm crying at the drop of a hat over nothing but the proverbial split milk. 'Bout the time to start journaling I think.

Sincerely,

A. Lauren

 

[Zamboni]

Eh Met.

Hi. it is Zam,

Just ant you to know you need a Starbucks? You have them in Canada doin't you?