Anxiety And Dogs

[Meadowsweet]

I used to find going for a walk very therapeutic, but for the past couple of years a small fear of dogs has escalated into an anxiety that gets so bad I rarely go for walks in places where dog owners can let their dogs off the lead/lease.Even when there is no dog in sight, I imagine that around every corner a dog is about to jump out at me.

I've never been attacked by a dog and I feel that this fear is probably a manifestation of my fear of something aggressive suddenly turning and attacking me.

I'm ok with dogs that are on leads or if their owner introduces me, I'm quite happy to stroke most breeds of dogs and I look after my sisters dog occassionally because I know it. So it's not a completely irrational phobia of dogs.

So I'm trying to get out for walks and get past this fear. But today a dog who regularly barks aggressively at people was barking at me. It's owner eventually caught up with it and apologised. Then two dogs barked at us and the owner called across that they were ok and safe.

But I was so distressed by this time, I called back and told him to call his dogs away and that it wasn't acceptable to let them bark at people.

I was quite rude to him, and feel embarrassed because I know that my anxiety is my problem. But what is reasonable to expect of others? Or how should I handle it?

 

[The Albatross]

I think it is wise that you noticed it to be perhaps an irrational fear, one that is not based on actual trauma or experience.

I do have dog bite in my background (associated with a trauma) and I can tell you that personally, I do expect owners to have their pets vaccinated, I expect the to be on a lead when they are out of their house or yard. We do have leash laws here where I live. What concerns me most about what you expressed, is the anxiety even when no threat is present.

For myself I went through a period of that but in the form of agoraphobia... starting from a prolonged period of heavy drinking. I rationalized my behavior by saying, "I'm under the influence, it is a danger to others if I leave my home." And tried to come to terms with the resources I could to curtail my alcohol abuse. But from that... became more and more limiting things. Even when I wasn't under the influence, it was stressful to leave my home, eventually that included even my mail box or front porch.

Meadowsweet, your post seems conflicted. when you say, "I've never been attacked by a dog and I feel that this fear is probably a manifestation of my fear of something aggressive suddenly turning and attacking me.

I'm ok with dogs that are on leads or if their owner introduces me, I'm quite happy to stroke most breeds of dogs and I look after my sisters dog occassionally because I know it. So it's not a completely irrational phobia of dogs".

If there is a "safer" neighborhood nearby or a place with no dogs allowed, perhaps that would help you get back to your walks. I can use a nearby upper class neighborhood, the high school or the Y grounds for instance, heck even public parks or the beach. I don't though think that your remark to the dog owner was out of line except that you say it was rude.

 

[KP the nut]

(((MS))), this is a really difficult one. There are very few places in England which totally prevent dogs being off the lead.

I have 2 dogs and although I walk them off the lead, I am in control and they come to me when recalled. However, I am also wary of strangers with dogs as although I know mine are fine I don't know about theirs and it does cause stress.

Maybe contact your council and ask them if there is a dog control area close by. Or, and yes this is easy for me to say, begin to push your exposure to areas with dogs. I am happy to talk to people if they appear nervous, when I am out with my dogs. I will have the dogs under control and if the person/child is OK, ask them if they'd like to stroke the dog or even give them a biscuit.

Please don't stop your walks as they are vital to your well being.

(((HUGS)))

 

[Spiderallis]

The Albatross had a great suggestion with using a school track for walking, that's usually a dog-free zone. From the title I thought this thread might be going the other way, dogs helping with anxiety instead of causing it. If logic is any comfort, there's a higher risk of infections and nasties from being bitten by a human.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

(((Meadowsweet))) I think you hsndled the situation really well. It was appropriate to be rude to the dog owner. I wish you the best with your walks. Can you carry a stick as a weapon? It sounds like you have a phobia.

I hope you find out what works for you and what does not. Big hugs.

 

[maddog]

Hi MS. I really empathise with what you said about having lashed out rudely due to fear and anxiety, this fear aggression is something I also struggle badly with, usually in relation to perceived threats by people rather than dogs, but the principle is still very much the same.

There is no doubt that irrational fears are sometimes the most difficult to tackle, but also the most important, as they tend to be self-reinforcing and can continue to spiral out of control without ever having to be shown to be true.

I think that as much healthy exposure to safe dogs as possible is good, and that a lot of hard core reality testing with yourself about the real likelihood of attack, the number of aggressive dogs you have encountered versus the number of safe ones, etc, might be useful here. As with any sort of exposure, controlling the intensity and frequency of it is important too, so if you can try to stick to a routine of regular, but fairly short, walks in areas that cause you anxiety, then hopefully over time you can begin to extinguish this reaction somewhat through repeated safe experiences.

That said, in my personal view (and regardless of the leash laws in your area) it is entirely reasonable that you ask other people to keep their unleashed dogs away from you, and even if you were rude, your point was valid and deserved to be made. My personal view is that dogs should always be leashed in public, for their own protection and everyone else's, but sadly I don't know that this reality can be guaranteed anywhere.

I really feel for you, it's so hard when fear and anxiety get in the way of a comforting and healthy pastime which would otherwise be so available to us. I hope you can work on this one with some success.

Maddog

 

[Meadowsweet]

Thankyou, there is a lot of good advice from all the replies here.

In the UK there are few lease laws. Dogs are even allowed to walk without a lease on the local playing fields. I live in a nice area, but it is a small town in the countryside, so it is an area where people come to take their dogs for walks.

It's a sad state of affairs, but if I was a farmers livestock animal I would be protected from dogs causing me distress :mad:. In the UK there is a certain attitude amongst dog owners that because they don't think their dog will bite me, it's ok for it to approach me and bark at me. KP it would be nice if more dog owners responded as you do.

Although I've never been bitten, dogs barking at me isn't unusual. But I think because my anxiety levels are already high, everytime I get scared by a dog, it reinforces and adds to my fear.

I think it is something I have to keep exposing myself to because as Albatross mentions, what starts as a fear of going out into the countryside could well end up as not going out of the house.

 

[The Albatross]

I kept doing exposures and building on them and now with few exceptions, if not entirely comfortable, I can go almost anywhere day or night. For the most stressful challenges, I make a plan, bring a cell phone, and tell my husband or my mother, where I am going and see if they'll be available by phone if I get too stressed out.

I wish I had a clue as to what purpose the development for me of agoraphobic tendency served or where it came from... but I've never been really able to track it down to a root cause. Unless it contrasted my belief that the world was an unsafe place, with the reality of isolating in my home and experiencing the loneliness of it. I recognized it reasonably quickly (a year and a half) considering I was also dealing with alcohol abuse, and basically the situation led me to make a big giant realization. It wasn't going to get better unless I gave it my attention, and I needed to plan challenges, desensitize, with patient consistence... practicing holding the stress, anxiety and moving through the fear until it began to return to second nature.

It worked so well that I still tend to use the habit when I am trying to gain improvements... I do a series of challenges and journal about the results. Sort of like I'm my own little science experiment.

Perhaps you are associating the feeling, being startled and becoming scared with dogs, because you (thankfully) haven't had any fearful experiences bringing attention to this propensity anywhere else in your present environment. When these quirks pop up for me, a little voice in my head says, "Choose. This can be a growth and learning opportunity or it can be or become a handicap, self imposed obstacle." It reduces my stress and anxiety if I frame it as an opportunity or a lesson.

Hope this helps?

 

[The Albatross]

P.S. On rereading, I want to say that we can expand our ability to tolerate stress, fear and anxiety. It is something I have to work at, but my sibling and my spouse seem to be resilient and have no difficulty in this area. I tended to get stuck and mesmerize myself with it. I try as I go through my days to focus on acknowledging the feeling but not getting stuck on it. If its something that sticks, I can journal about it. It is a new habit. I am less likely to deviate from my plans or seek to avoid uncomfortable things these days. I may always be a bit stressed or fearful, but I am more expansive and I try to regulate my feelings if no real threat is present.