Anxiety And Sex?

[Chaoticmind]

my anxiety started in March after my grandma passing. It's a pretty long story of misdiagnosis and random panic attacks. Finally led to me being put on meds and I'm still in the trial and error stage.

I have noticed as my anxiety progresses, I have anxiety about sex and when having sex. At first it was the thought of sex. Then it became feeling a bit weird after sex but nothing I couldn't handle. Now, it's at the point of full blown panic attacks after sex. I don't know what to do or how to handle this. Something I once enjoyed so much now causes me panic.

I did some reading and found out this is called post coital anxiety syndrome. Wondering if anyone else has had this issue or similar and what they did to get through it. I want to have sex with my boyfriend but can't because of this and it's ruining me. Any help would be great

 

[Friday]

Are you still on meds? As that can be a side effect of some of them. Sex creates a very shazaam! cocktail of chemicals coursing through your brain & bloodstream, and some meds just react badly to that.

I can't remember if it's the ones that -in men- tend to cause "porn star effect" (able to become aroused, unable to orgasm), or "head is interested, dick isn't" (inability to become aroused) that tend to cause sexual anxiety in women (either pre or post), but I do remember there's a link to one of them. >.< This is going to drive me nuts. "May cause sexual side effects" is just such a broad and annoying term. Especially when there are documented types of sexual side effects that certain meds have strong tendencies towards.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi,

I don't think this is a separate syndrome. You're a CSA survivor and this is very much expected in the life of a CSA survivor.

How do you fix it? You work on healing your childhood sexual trauma. You learn coping skills. You process your trauma with a trauma therapist.

I hope your boyfriend/partner is patient and understanding. There is no quick fix, rather it takes time to work through it all so that sex is safe for you again.

 

[Chaoticmind]

Are you still on meds? As that can be a side effect of some of them. Sex creates a very shazaam!...

Yes, I am still on meds. What's weird is I didn't have this until recently. Just doesn't make sense to me

 

[Chaoticmind]

Hi,

I don't think this is a separate syndrome. You're a CSA survivor and this is very much expec...

No, I do not have any trauma related to sex from childhood. Nothing bad happened to me as a child to cause me trauma so there is nothing to talk about

 

[EveHarrington]

No, I do not have any trauma related to sex from childhood. Nothing bad happened to me as a child t...

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/my-life-in-a-nutshell.60745/

Rape at age 9 is indeed childhood sexual abuse.

Are you dissociative? Do you lose time? Are you unaware of posting about the rape?

I understand if you are in denial, but IME denial doesn't move us forward in healing. I don't think that looking for other causes of your sexual issues is going to help you heal while denying the childhood sexual trauma.

I looked at your postings last night and that's why I replied as I did.

 

[Chaoticmind]

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/my-life-in-a-nutshell.60745/

Rape at age 9 is indeed...

Let me be very clear on something. That is something I block out of my mind. Not due to the trauma but I've had so many other issues come about after that, that's at the bottom of my list. The fact that I had a perfectly good sex life and as soon as my anxiety started and I started meds that my sex life got bad isn't a coincidence. So no, it is not due to trauma and don't tell me I'm in denial. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist and both agree my past has nothing to do with this. I would appreciate you no longer give your input. I posted this thread to see if anyone else had this issue. Not for someone to lecture me on how they believe my past is the reason cause I guarantee you it's not.

 

[EveHarrington]

Bowing out now.

I hope one day you get a better therapist and psychiatrist. Any that are even remotely trained in trauma won't tell a client that a rape at 9 years of age has nothing to do with adult sexual issues.

I hope that one day you can move beyond the realm of denial and face your trauma. It is clear that you are in denial about its effects as first you denied that it even happened and now you're denying it has affected you.

Until you're open to receiving input and not so defensive when people try to help you------I don't think your healing is going to move forward.

Yes, it seems like the rape couldn't possibly have an effect this many years later, but you've essentially awakened buried trauma. Things can be perfectly fine for many years------until one day they're not.

I really do think it's a bunny trail sort of thing to be looking into alternative explanations.

When you hear hoof beats in Central Park------don't go thinking zebras. The most likely explanation is usually right in front of you.

And no, I'm not lecturing you.

 

[Deleted member 34424]

You're in denial about the abuse you went through as a child; you won't get ANY better until you actually accept that you have PTSD and other issues because of being raped as a child.

I suggest trauma therapy. If not, good luck.

 

[joeylittle]

Just to offer a different perspective...

It sounds like there are a handful of criterion A traumas that are connected to sex in your life; more than just the event at age 9.

So, objectively speaking - it would only be through trauma therapy that you could truly identify the event that led to the PTSD. You could also have more than one.

PTSD does not automatically happen to every person with Crit A trauma. Also, PTSD can be dormant for years.

Your Grandmothers death could have set off a PTSD response to any number of past traumas involving sex, genitalia, or being exposed.

When you are anxious about sex - do you have any idea why? Or what kinds of thoughts do you have that initiate the anxiety? Maybe if you write more about that, something will click for you.

 

[Chaoticmind]

Just to offer a different perspective...

It sounds like there are a handful of criterion A traumas...

Thank you for a decent answer.

Ok so this is basically how it happened. April, would get anxious thinking about sex. May, would feel a bit weird after sex but couldn't figure out the weird sensation (still had the anxiety before sex), and now have panic attacks after. I'm anxious to have sex because I expect the panic attack after and obviously when you have anxiety and panic you want to avoid these feelings.

For everyone else, my past was spoken about many times starting at the age of 14 so don't tell me what I need to do. I said I don't think about it anymore for a reason. That reason being I've dealt with it and I'm over it. So please, keep your judgements and ideas of "my trauma" to yourself :)

 

[joeylittle]

April, would get anxious thinking about sex. May, would feel a bit weird after sex but couldn't figure out the weird sensation (still had the anxiety before sex)...

Was your relationship under any additional strain when you were navigating your Grandmothers death?

When you thought about sex, how did it come up as a topic in your mind? Can you pinpoint or even riff on what your thoughts at the time might have been?