M
MAP
About six months ago, I was home alone, sleeping, when a I heard a loud noise at my front door. My bedroom door was open- I wasn't certain of what I had heard, so I tried to get back to sleep but soon after decided to call out "hello?" I heard a quiet rustling in response. It was 4AM.
I threw on my bath robe, and looked out into my living room without glasses and repeated my question "hello?" only to be met with the blurry face of someone laying on my futon.
"I love you" he stated.
I've never said a string of curse words so frantically in my life. I ran toward my kitchen light and turned it on to see an intoxicated student laying in front of my window, almost unable to walk. He began to get up, to which I replied in much less polite terms: "don't you dare."
I proceeded to turn on al the lights in my apartment while calling 911. The police were extremely responsive, and assured me that this was a completely random occurrence. I called my boyfriend and he began driving back home from his parents house immediately. I didn't sleep that night.
I later learned that he had forced himself into my apartment because our house looked exactly like his on the outside and inside.
We've since moved to a small and very secure apartment building where we live on the second floor, and have secure locks on all of our doors, but I still find myself unable to fall asleep without my boyfriend beside me for the fear that someone is standing behind me, even if I turn the lights on, even if I leave the door open while he's walking around, and even with my cat sleeping with me. It's this inescapable fear that washes over me after about a minute of being comfortable. I've tried different sleeping positions. I've tried talking myself out of it, but there is just no way I'm sleeping alone if I'm not with my boyfriend.
I have a psychologist. I've spoken to her about this issue, and I know now that this is PTSD. I haven't gone into depth about my sleep issue because I had other more important concerns to address, but I plan to discuss this in our next session. Until then, I'm just tired. I would love any suggestions on how to just freaking sleep- thank you for listening.
I threw on my bath robe, and looked out into my living room without glasses and repeated my question "hello?" only to be met with the blurry face of someone laying on my futon.
"I love you" he stated.
I've never said a string of curse words so frantically in my life. I ran toward my kitchen light and turned it on to see an intoxicated student laying in front of my window, almost unable to walk. He began to get up, to which I replied in much less polite terms: "don't you dare."
I proceeded to turn on al the lights in my apartment while calling 911. The police were extremely responsive, and assured me that this was a completely random occurrence. I called my boyfriend and he began driving back home from his parents house immediately. I didn't sleep that night.
I later learned that he had forced himself into my apartment because our house looked exactly like his on the outside and inside.
We've since moved to a small and very secure apartment building where we live on the second floor, and have secure locks on all of our doors, but I still find myself unable to fall asleep without my boyfriend beside me for the fear that someone is standing behind me, even if I turn the lights on, even if I leave the door open while he's walking around, and even with my cat sleeping with me. It's this inescapable fear that washes over me after about a minute of being comfortable. I've tried different sleeping positions. I've tried talking myself out of it, but there is just no way I'm sleeping alone if I'm not with my boyfriend.
I have a psychologist. I've spoken to her about this issue, and I know now that this is PTSD. I haven't gone into depth about my sleep issue because I had other more important concerns to address, but I plan to discuss this in our next session. Until then, I'm just tired. I would love any suggestions on how to just freaking sleep- thank you for listening.
