Any Advice?

[Mosaic]

I've been heavily steered towards medication by my doctor for my PTSD but always refused, I feel like medication was for people who can't control their anxiety and even though it does get bad I wanted to be able to control it without drugs.
I feel sh*t to say I think I'm gonna have to do it.

So I went out with my friend to a wooded area to meditate last night, I've never done it before but I thought it might be worthwhile and could even help me with my PTSD.
It was a very stupid idea, it was darker than I thought and I didn't realise we'd be in a place that looked so scary, I had to leave after 10 minutes and had a panic attack as soon as I got into my car and drove home as fast as I could.

I cried to my boyfriend, called in sick to work for today and he's coming home early later to spend some time with me.

I couldn't control by breathing or stop my panic, I didn't want to, I just wanted to get home.

I've refused anxiety medication for ages, I don't like the idea of it, now I've just booked a doctors appt to discuss it.
I was told by my mental health nurse when she was pushing for it that you can get medication that you only take if and when you need it so I'm going to finally look into it.

Has anyone had any experiences good or bad with different medications that I should be watchful for?
Any advice would help!

 

[Mosaic]

Footnote : I don't like the idea of taking anything that's going to make me feel like I'm not totally in control of my body and mind, even when I go out with friends as soon as I feel tipsy I get very wary that I don't have full control and get uncomfortable.
This is following an alcohol/drugging related attack when I was 16.
I don't know what was in the drink but it's one of only 2 that I had that night, served to me by my attacker. Whatever it was, It caused me to faint onto the curb and my memories are completely wavy of everything after drinking it, including the assault by a guy who was a little obsessed with me.

To cut to the point, any medication that will space me out or make me really drowsy etc is a no.

 

[joeylittle]

I've had prescriptions for benzodiazepines - both clonazepam and lorazepam - to take on an as needed basis, when I get into a panic that I can't manage. Like you, I don't feel safe taking anything like that when I'm out in the world, but to be able to take them sometimes when I'm home alone is helpful.

They are addictive, and they lose their efficacy after awhile if you take them regularly. So you just figure out how little you can get away with taking, and only use it when you really need it. But they have been helpful for me in getting through some episodes that otherwise would have been potentially dangerous for me, and certainly demoralizing. Panic attacks feel like shit.

 

[digger]

When I asked my GP for the same thing - something to help with anxiety but on an as needed basis, not something I'd need to take everyday, because I want to try and learn to control it better without relying on drugs - he prescribed me a beta blocker. It had absolutely no effect whatsoever for me but I have read of other people feeling some benefits from it. I don't think betablockers generally give people the spaced out feeling you're trying to avoid, whereas a benzo might, so could be worth looking at for you.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

THIS.....

I was told by my mental health nurse when she was pushing for it that you can get medication that you only take if and when you need it so I'm going to finally look into it.

Does NOT mesh with THIS....

I don't like the idea of taking anything that's going to make me feel like I'm not totally in control of my body and mind,

As needed medications will make you feel a little less "in control".....that's sort of the nature of how they work. If you want medications that don't make you feel a little out of it, then you need to go with the daily medications.

That is, as needed medications are typically benzodiazepines. They are prone to abuse b/c they make you feel sooooo good and yes, can lead to dependence issues. Other daily meds like antipsychotics or antidepressants let you feel more in control, but you need to take them daily. That is, you shouldn't drive after taking a benzo, but you can drive after taking something from the other classes of meds.

You're in the UK, and from what I've heard it can be hard as heck to get those benzo's anyway. The UK tends to be very anti-benzo, probably moreso than other places in the world.

 

[Friday]

As needed medications will make you feel a little less "in control".....that's sort of the nature of how they work. If you want medications that don't make you feel a little out of it, then you need to go with the daily medications.

Completely disagree, here.

I take PRN/as needed medications, because I've found the exact opposite to be true for me.

1 of my PRN meds? Pure control. Stomps on the everything, leaves me exactly as myself.
1 of my PRN meds? Instant sleep. That's all it does.

I don't take either full time, because both are addictive, so Id have to quit, anyway... And then I'd still have all the mess to deal with... Without them acting as a safety net. I like the safety net. Daily meds, otoh, tend to screw with me in a major way. Whether they're short acting or long acting.

All of our neurochemistry is different. I found my "magic wand" PRN med, purely by accident. I've used others in the past to varying degrees of "me-ness". The side effects were worth the stomp on symptoms, but I'm not keen on side effects, period. This one doesn't have any. Just leaves me as me. ((In psychopharmeceuticals, that's the magic wand. Whether you're looking at an anxiety med, ADHD med, bipolar cocktail med, any med. The best fit for you & your brain is the one that leaves you more yourself, not less!))

What will work best for you? Unless you get lucky will probably need some trial and error. Can't just print out a brainscan and know which -of the roughly 200 medications out there that treat anxiety & panic- will be the best fit for you. It may be short or long acting PRN, it may be short or long acting daily. But the right med? Won't leave you feeling high, drunk, or out of control. It will leave you feeling like yourself.

 

[Fadeaway]

I don't do Benzos because the feeling of being less in control raises my anxiety. I take Hydroxyzine as needed for anxiety and it works pretty will. I just don't take it if I know I have stuff to do. It makes you drowsy at first, but doesn't give you that head change that Benzos do. I feel like I can still think clear enough to act in an emergency, but with less anxiety.

It's a sedative anti-histamine so it does make you drowsy at first, but my body adjusted to that fairly quickly. I rarely take them during the day unless things are bad, even though I no longer get the drowsy effect. It would give you something to take at night at least, until you got use to it. Also it comes in a variety of doses. I can take up 150 mgs a day but the individual pills are only 25 mgs. It's nice because it gives me more control over managing my anxiety. Start small for mild anxiety and increase if needed. I like that. I don't want to shot a mosquito with a rifle if that makes sense.

 

[barefoot]

I've had a couple of prescriptions for Diazepam (Valium) before but GPs are generally pretty reluctant to give them out because 1h they're addictive and 2) they become less effective over time. For these reasons, when they do prescribe them, they give you the minimum strength and lowest number of tablets possible,

First time I said I was so anxious and had so much adrenalin that I couldn't sleep so just wanted something to take to calm me down before bed so that I could try to reset my body clock and actually get some sleep at a 'normal' time. I got given 10 tablets - 2mg. It was basically like giving a starving donkey an oat! I had to chuck about 4 down my throat for it to have any effect at all - which wiped out almost half my supply! I think I do have quite a high tolerance for drugs though!

Last time was before a medical procedure that I was in a bit of a state about, so I wanted to take something beforehand to take the edge of my anxiety. I also wanted some just to keep in my handbag if I needed them as I was having more anxiety generally and was worried about having a full-on panic while I was out and about, so having the tablets with me made me feel more confident that I'd then be able to get myself home ok on public transport. A different GP was very reluctant to give me more than 2 (for the medical procedure) but then I got another 10 - 5mg this time, which worked better.

I don't take them often but when I do I find them useful. They just make me feel calmer. I get a slight sense of being in a bubble in a nice, calm, protected way. But not to the extent of feeling out of it/cut off from reality etc. I wouldn't drive after I've taken it though.

Tbh, I love the feeling when I take it and I can see how easy it would be to take them all the time! But if you stick to as and when, you shouldn't run into trouble with them and they should help. But if you need something more than as and when, diazepam probably isn't the right thing and I doubt you'd be able to get the prescriptions you'd need to keep taking them more regularly.

You may well find that you need to experiment with a few drugs until you find something that 1) is effective for you and 2) you're comfortable with in terms of the feeling you get and any side effects.