Hello :)
I have advice based on my experiences. Maybe they'll help you?
I've also had a lot of shit happen. More weather-specific events included snow and ice storms, mild floods, strong storms, and a huge tornado event. The event was so big that it has its own Wikipedia page. More than 70 tornadoes in my county alone, such a beautiful sight... and scary.
Now days, I'm obsessed with weather. Most of the time I'm more interested in avoiding potential kidnappers and other dangerous people. Other times, I'm obsessed with weather. In high school I even got made fun of for it a few times -- but it worked out fine!
Somehow I got invested in how weather works. I'm very science-minded and I don't like not understanding how tornadoes work. So, I learned. The exposure helped. I started reading all about them, viewing videos, learning from tornado hunters (who often go through trauma themselves). I still get a little obsessed at times and start viewing all tornado stuff. It helps me feel a little more in control.
I know now how to be safe in one. I know what to look for in the sky, I know what to look for days in advanced and I know what to look for in a radar. I've spotted potential-tornadoes before authorities have. I've learned that tornado warnings aren't guaranteed on-the-ground funnels -- most of the time, investigators after the fact find that the tornado never made land-fall. :)
I somehow enjoy storms now... it feels like a test of my knowledge and skills. I get excited when I see lightning, and can use logic to tell myself that this one is guaranteed to be a strong storm -- but with no tornadoes.
I have a special sleeping spot in case I'm scared anyway. I'm most likely to get scared and panic-y if I can't see the signs in the sky -- so, at night. Having a powerful radar helps me. I can predict how safe I am using a radar by looking for certain signatures.
The thing with strong storms is that you have no control. Part of the healing process is finding control, and trying to see what happened in less negative ways (which will take help, such as by using EMDR or similar treatments). I have a safe place stashed with food and water, a radar, a battery radio, batteries, flashlights, water, and a reinforced tornado-safe area. I know exactly when to be worried, and I know what to do if I am in a real threat. I will know days ahead of time.
That in itself helped my dreams. I stopped dreaming ONLY of fear, and began to be prepared in my dreams. I realized my dreams where telling me something and I did my best to accommodate. I still do have nightmares, though, especially in the spring, when I can sense that the weather is right. April is a strong trigger month.
I also try telling my storm stories to others (who I know, not on TV or something) as a way to help teach others, and occasionally fascinate them. It gives an element of control as well, and allows you to get it off your chest. This works if you're ready. Don't force it.
My life also doesn't revolve around weather so much anymore. I know when to be concerned. Other times, I check my radar for how long it's going to rain so I can plan my days accordingly :P On sunny days, I might not pull up my radar at all. A little control can allow you to put it on the back burner until you need it. And when you need it, you can be prepared enough.
And other times I remind myself that it's reasonable to be scared. Somehow I turned it into excitement, as long as nothing sneaks up on me. But if I'm scared, I have a really good reason.
Not tornado related...but related. On April 16,2016 my wife,daughter and I were in Canoa Ecuador...
I hope you're doing okay in 2018. <3
