Anyone Take A Break From Emdr?

[samson]

Hi. I have been doing emdr now for 19 months. I have had some wonderful successes, but recently have been triggered by some things that have brought up old memories again. I am so tired and depressed tonight. I had a session today and I just felt like I couldn't get what I wanted from my T. He's really wonderful and I know it's not his job to make me feel better. But right now I just feel like taking a break. Not for long, maybe a month or so. Has anyone done this during emdr?

 

[Dissociation]

Maybe your EMDR should just go slower. I mean, maybe you do it too much.

You don't have to do it every time you see your T, you can do other things, like just talk or CBT. EMDR is a very hard therapy, it can't be done at a high rate.

Take it easy ;)

 

[samson]

It is very hard - thank you for saying that. I am so tired of thinking about all of my emotions and behavior and past trauma. I just want to be "normal" and relax. I feel trapped. I know quitting is not a good idea, but continuing seems overwhelming. I have been at this for a long time but I don't think I have ever felt this bad about therapy itself. I said this to my therapist yesterday and of course his answer was I was in charge here and we could do whatever I want. Ironically, I just want him to tell me to do what I'm supposed to do to get well.

 

[Lucycat]

I have been receiving therapy for nearly 4 years now. I still have occasional EMDR sessions but not very often. As Dissociation says above, you do not need to have EMDR every session. My T uses a combination of methods, and sometimes it feels just like a chat, but I still find it helpful. If I really don't feel that I need to see him I tell him so. In fact he asked me if I needed to see him this week as he is about to take 2 weeks holiday. I thanked him for the offer but said no, I am fine just now and will leave it until he returns.

I do believe that flexibility in therapy is important. Your therapist is right - YOU are in control. I understand though that sometimes you want to be told what to do for the best, but the ultimate aim is for you to be able to make your own decisions so your therapist is clearly working towards that.

 

[euca]

My T makes a point of skipping the eye movements process every few weeks to consolidate where we are at. I find this really helpful, we talk through the cognitions and notice any changes in my thinking. I haven't been at it that long though, 4 months maybe. I can't imagine doing this for years without a break, it is so hard! I think if you feel it is right for you to have a break, then that's what you should do, providing of course you are emotionally stable enough to cope with life's ever day curveballs.

 

[Hashi]

I know quitting is not a good idea

samson, could you say what your concern would be about taking a break? I'm not sure why you refer to it as quitting, or what might not be a good idea about a month away from EMDR. Could you say a bit more?

 

[samson]

When I feel overwhelmed like this my first thought is to walk away completely. Try to take what I've learned, apply it to what I can and stop having to wallow around in the memories, emotions and trauma. I'm clearly overwhelmed right now and need to calm down and stabilize before moving on. I know quitting isn't a good idea. My friends have told me that when I am having good weeks they feel like I'm better than before therapy. They are right, but when I fall into one of these pits I get scared that I'm not going to recover. Does that make any sense?

 

[dharmaBum]

But right now I just feel like taking a break. Not for long, maybe a month or so. Has anyone done this during emdr?

I'm on an extended break right now, in part due to logistic reasons, but also due to a bit of treatment fatigue and a desire to see where I'm really at in my recovery. I've taken short breaks before and kept track of the reactions that I was using EMDR to treat in order to collect information about future targets and assess the strength of my own resources in managing anxiety/dissociation/irritability/etc. I actually tracked it all using a chart because I'm trained in behavior management and I've seen the positive impact that recording and monitoring behavior can have.

Some things that have been essential when I'm taking a break from treatment but still experiencing symptoms are to do a lot of self-care, to not delve into the roots of triggers but rather just notice and record them, and to be aware when a trigger is resulting in a high-distress response and consider getting counseling or other professional help to address that specific need. Then, in a two-prong approach, I really focus on enjoying life, participating in resource-building therapy like art-therapy and identifying and appreciating my personal strengths.

 

[Hashi]

I agree with others that you don't have to do EMDR every session. Could you spend a few sessions with your therapist on stabilising, and discuss with him ways of doing EMDR without getting so overwhelmed by it? Maybe that might mean a few weeks off but with an appointment already in place at the end of that.

If you explain how you're feeling and involve your therapist in thinking about the options, that might make it feel more like a break than quitting. It sounds like you're not making a distinction between those two things, so maybe having some structure around a break would feel safer?

I don't do EMDR but I do trauma work which - from other discussions on the forum - I think has the same sort of intensity and effect. I couldn't keep doing that every week, week after week. I have to have sessions inbetween where my therapist and I talk about stabilising and dealing with what comes up. I need some sessions where all we talk about is general life issues. Sometimes I need to have sessions focussing only on the progress I've made and what I've achieved.

I often take several sessions before and after working on one particular issue. One or two sessions beforehand discussing some of the feelings that I think are going to make it difficult (usually shame or fear). Then a session where we work on the issue. Then there may be several sessions afterwards reviewing that, talking about new things that came up to do with it and assimilating the effect of working on it.

 

[zaniara]

Oh, Samson I can relate so much to what you wrote and are feeling! (It's hard to find the words right now because I got so overwhelmed by entangled feelings.) I've also done a lot of EMDR as well as trauma work for months now, and at the moment I'm so very overwhelmed by the process. I got some help to ground my self and build up my strength through "positive EMDR"(it's called something else) last session. It has helped a lot. But I'm still not stable at all, and my life is pretty messed up now since I haven't been able to keep up with my good routines the last 2 months.

My therapist told me we can keep on working on building my strength up and stabilizing me. Do other stuff.. But whenever he tell me that I always feel like pushing forward= "to get done with it", somehow. Not sure why.. And I feels as you do that I just want him to decide and tell me whats the right thing to do. :confused: I've done the same thing as you have done:been thinking of taking break from it all for a short while. And my therapist told me that if I want to do that it's ok. But then I get even more confused and messed up because I know part of me say that just to avoid lettting him close to me(acting on old impulses to "run away"and "do it all alone").

Okay. Not sure I'm hepling you here, but I just recognize the struggle so much. It seems as if you migh benefit from at least taking things a bit "slow" for a while. And maybe be gentle with your self? If you need to have some time without any therapy at all, maybe taking a few weeks off from it all can do you good. But otherwise maybe you could allow your therapist to help you in other ways?

 

[zaniara]

When I feel overwhelmed like this my first thought is to walk away completely. Try to take what I've learned, apply it to what I can and stop having to wallow around in the memories, emotions and trauma. They are right, but when I fall into one of these pits I get scared that I'm not going to recover. Does that make any sense?

It does! :) I feel and think the same way(and do on/off but even more when I'm overwhelmed).

 

[samson]

This board is so helpful. I still don't know what to do, but I no longer feel alone and weird. I have a session on Wednesday. Been debating on canceling it, but I really do need to talk this through with him. I don't know why I get so nervous.

Zaniara - we sound like therapy twins. This sort of started when my T said I was 85 - 90% done with emdr now. He was so happy about that. And I, like you, though "well then, let's just blow through this." He's going to let me go as fast as I want. He always offers to just talk or do something different, but I will firmly shake my head and say "let's work". I've got to slow down. That's all there is to it.

dharmaBum - I love what you wrote and sounds like what I would like to try. The term "treatment fatigue" is a perfect description.

Thank you all so much!