Arebas
Silver Member
I've been having a very stressful week and everything is upside down inside.
I've sent a couple emails to my T that turned out a bit rude and I want to apologize, but every time I try I just get angrier, so now I don't know what to do.
I'll explain:
I woke up last night from some weird dream I don't remember and then emailed my T about some random stuff that didn't really had to do much with her but was bothering me. I have to say that I have "parts". That email came from some part that was pretty angry. She said she didn't want to talk to anyone ever again and she didn't even want to be alive anymore... but then complained cause she didn't know what the next appointment with my T was so she didn't know till when she had to put everything on hold. So I'm guessing she does still want to live and does still want to talk to my T... I don't know.
My T replied apologizing for not texting me the appointment as she had said she would. She said that I should not let that bottle up inside to the point that it makes me angry and I have to tell her sooner. Then offered me an appointment.
I apologized, thanked her, confirmed the appointment. I was embarrassed and still a bit bothered about the other things happening so that email might have looked too straight forward for my usual emails and maybe sounded still a bit angry although that was not my intention.
Then T replies again telling me that I need to tell her when things bother me before I get angry and also trying to validate my anger saying it's normal that I felt like that blah blah blah.
So, the angry part jumps in again and sends a reply saying that I had understood it fine the first time and she doesn't need to talk to me like I'm 5 years old.
My T doesn't reply to this email cause, well, I don't really know what anyone could reply to that.
So, now I am embarrassed, angry at myself, sad cause I think my T is mad at me, and trying to figure out if I should write another email apologizing, or explain things or just wait till the session on Monday or what. I've tried writing a short apology but it gets hijacked by the angry part and I start all humble and embarrassed and then I turn all "wtf am I even apologizing for? Screw you!" So I am NOT sending that.
Has something like this happened to you? You're so angry about something not entirely related to your T that you want to apologize but end up getting angrier and lashing out on her? Will it go away if I wait or will I keep bottling things up and then explode on the session?
I really don't want to explode in the session, that is so not me. :(
I've sent a couple emails to my T that turned out a bit rude and I want to apologize, but every time I try I just get angrier, so now I don't know what to do.
I'll explain:
I woke up last night from some weird dream I don't remember and then emailed my T about some random stuff that didn't really had to do much with her but was bothering me. I have to say that I have "parts". That email came from some part that was pretty angry. She said she didn't want to talk to anyone ever again and she didn't even want to be alive anymore... but then complained cause she didn't know what the next appointment with my T was so she didn't know till when she had to put everything on hold. So I'm guessing she does still want to live and does still want to talk to my T... I don't know.
My T replied apologizing for not texting me the appointment as she had said she would. She said that I should not let that bottle up inside to the point that it makes me angry and I have to tell her sooner. Then offered me an appointment.
I apologized, thanked her, confirmed the appointment. I was embarrassed and still a bit bothered about the other things happening so that email might have looked too straight forward for my usual emails and maybe sounded still a bit angry although that was not my intention.
Then T replies again telling me that I need to tell her when things bother me before I get angry and also trying to validate my anger saying it's normal that I felt like that blah blah blah.
So, the angry part jumps in again and sends a reply saying that I had understood it fine the first time and she doesn't need to talk to me like I'm 5 years old.
My T doesn't reply to this email cause, well, I don't really know what anyone could reply to that.
So, now I am embarrassed, angry at myself, sad cause I think my T is mad at me, and trying to figure out if I should write another email apologizing, or explain things or just wait till the session on Monday or what. I've tried writing a short apology but it gets hijacked by the angry part and I start all humble and embarrassed and then I turn all "wtf am I even apologizing for? Screw you!" So I am NOT sending that.
Has something like this happened to you? You're so angry about something not entirely related to your T that you want to apologize but end up getting angrier and lashing out on her? Will it go away if I wait or will I keep bottling things up and then explode on the session?
I really don't want to explode in the session, that is so not me. :(
