Sexual Assault Are Some People More Prone To Being Sexually Assulted

[Seagreen]

Wow some interesting perspectives! @Anarchy, the quotes you posted were thought provoking and also very sad.
I only had 1 mildly traumatic experience at age 7. The rest were after the age of 12. But I can identify with some of the traits listed above and its not hard to see how they may have lowered my resistance to later abuse. I can also see how other experiences in my childhood may have contributed to me developing these traits as well.

 

[ghotiff]

I have certainly gone through this loop myself over the years. I'm reading with interest.

 

[Friday]

Never accept the blame for evil others do.

____________________________

I like to use the bank robbery parallel when it comes to rape. Because no one in their right mind ever blames the bank, or doesn't bother chasing the crooks, or let's them go after the fact -with the money- because they can really understand how the robbers mint have been confused. Or overly tempted.

While all parallels break down eventually... Are certain banks robbed more often than others? Yep. Absolutely. Why? A handful of reasons. How soft a target it is (aka how easy is it to rob it: from location, to security, to police response times, to, to, to. Lots and lots of things to into whether a particular bank is a soft or hard target), it's location, it's contents, the population around it, the economy of the area around it, etc.

Are there things a bank can do to change the above? Yep. Absolutely.
Is it something they're always willing/able to do? Nope. For various legitimate reasons.
Even if they become the hardest target on the planet can they still be robbed? Yep.

Are there things that set people apart like that? Make them look like easy prey? Yep. Absolutely.
Are there things a person can do to change the above? Yep. Absolutely.
Is it something they're always willing/able to do? Nope. For various legitimate reasons.
Even if they become the hardest target on the planet can they still be assaulted? Yep.

 

[ghotiff]

@FridayJones that analogy is inspired. Thanks for sharing it.

 

[Lucycat]

... and then there is sheer bad luck or misfortune. My young cousins were subjected to sexual abuse simply because they were my young cousins, or perhaps more accurately they were the nieces of my father. When I reached the age of 14 I manged to put a stop to my abuse. What I did not learn for many years was that he simply moved onto the next available young girl. My cousins were accessible as they frequently came to stay. There was so much opportunity and he took it.

 

[MissKB]

I have had the same thought! I wondered did I have a sign on my back as a child, "available here for sexual abuse come one come all". My abusers were unknown to each other so I know one didn't just say to the other - she's an easy mark! As an adult I question that all the time. Was I just unlucky who I was around. I know in my sensible mind that the victim is not to blame, but I wonder what made me an easy mark? I was sexually abused by 2 women
simultaneously from age 4 to 6 then a man at age10. Then when I was 21 and struggling financially, I had a great uncle offer me money for sexual favors because he knew I was broke. It made me wonder if he could tell that I had been a victim. I mean what gave him the balls to come out and offer me money for a bj. Why didn't he think I was old enough to say no and could easily tell the whole family (which I never told anyone). I do wish I would have reacted irate and told him to shove it. But I just made like it must have been a joke and laughingly declined the offer. But I always wondered if there was something about me that made all that happen.

 

[respectme4life12Bean]

I have been sexually assaulted, or nearly sexually assaulted by 6 men and all on separate occasions bet...

I feel you, I know that feeling, I don't understand it why, but its like they see if we are easy, give in, or just nice. I can't understand why no one else in my family hasn't but then me. Nothing but heartbreak, nothing has seem to go right.

I think its a big part we want something that we are missing and we will take the hurt that goes with it. I have been raped by my best friend, I have sexually assaulted, bullied to no point and found a guy who is a child predator, I feel so alone, because honestly every guy other than family I haven't had much luck.

 

[Anarchy]

It's a hugely difficult area, especially for you who have been on the receiving end

There are people looking into it. The lady in the podcast stresses that any attempt to work out what predators might be picking up on and targeting, runs the risk of accusations of victim blaming

There do seem to be people who get targetted, and one of the things that I'm working on i T is how not to get into playing the receiving end of narcissistic games.

Sandra L. Brown, MA - The Trauma Therapist Project

 

[MessyMind]

People who have been assaulted one or more times have a higher chance of being assaulted again

 

[Beks]

Iv seen a number of therapists over the years, Ive been attacked by men before and after therapies, and each therapist has had a differing point of view.
I have to say that the last therapist blatantly said that it was my fault, because I come across weak. I wanted to punch her in the face, but that is inappropriate of course.
Each case for me was different: boys being jerks at school; a boyfriend who suddenly attacked me after being together months at uni; a sociopath manager at work holding me under torture, and a very weird set up made by a psycho young woman colleague on a night out. So that definitely wasnt following a pattern. I understand that growing up under abuse made me more vulnerable than someone who has been brought up to practice self defense, but at the same time I fought back and sometimes got away so I am not totally incapable, and much of the time there were bystanders who did nothing. Sometimes I have had the impression that angry psycho men just want to hurt a woman who thinks her own mind (and vice versa), a way of taking control and teaching a lesson - as that is usually the case for me.

It really does make me sick that victims are blamed like this - told that your only a victim because you act like one. How about 'your only a rapist because you rape people', and that there really are a bunch of horrible people out there. Its like abusers get sympathy, or some sort of credit by society for being able to 'spot weak people' - because those who haven't been attacked cant imagine they ever would just because of their own ego.

I dont buy it, even if some scientist got their statistics calculations out they certainly didnt have the whole population to count it with.

 

[Deadman]

I've hesitated comment here because sexual assault of any kind is such an emotive subject but I think I'll share something that might shed a different light on this subject.

Back when I taught personal security to people I would have a little exercise. I would tell the people in the class to imagine they were pickpockets or purse snatchers and their job was to steal money from one person. I then showed a two minute clip of random people at a Sunday market. There were no people that I knew in the video. There was no set-up.

After The video was finished everyone would write on a piece of paper who their target was. Almost without exception people would chose an older woman who was enjoying the market with what was probably her grandson. The more astute students would say something like "She won't protect her purse. She'll protect her grandson while I run for it."

Did this poor woman look like the easiest target? Yes. Does that in some way mean she deserved to have her purse snatched? No! Bear in mind that my students were good people going to dangerous places to help vulnerable people. None of them would actually consider snatching the ladies purse.

In a perfect world the world everyone would be like my students, and the woman would always be safe. No crime would be committed. Nobody would be at fault.

But if someone did decide to act and steal her purse she would not suddenly become responsible for the crime. The person who chose to exploit her would be the criminal. Even if she knew there were thieves in the market and she didn't protect her purse. Even if she knew she was vulnerable. The criminal always bears the responsibility.

Unfortunately when it comes to any form of sexual assault people's thinking gets muddled.

 

[Tinyflame]

I understand crimes of opportunity and target hardening, but sexual assault feels more personal, Idk. :(

Maybe because it's a personal/ close-quarters action, though all types of crimes are really, or leave that feeling? Idk.

Also, I suppose you don't feel a need to target-harden with anyone you thought a bit trustworthy.