Are Therapists Good?

[Lex]

hi guys. So many years ago when I was in high school I was really depressed. So didn't trust anyone. I was really bad then. So I asked around my school about the therapist that worker there and every one I asked said she was okay and nice. I tried. First she was super cool and kind and sweet to me. I don't know what I did to deserve her hate. I got hospitalized twice for suicide attempts. When I came back she told everyone that I was unstable and to stay away from me. At one point I left me class and into the hallway I remember and stabbed myself lightly and felt woozy. She walked by and said she hopes that I don't think she cares about me or the fact that I am ending my own life because she could care less and that I'm not her problem. I was in shock and fell to the ground as my friend saw this and ran to help me up and clean the blood off me. Long story short she was reported by my hospital where I was admitted and fired. I never brought this up to my current therapist because I don't know how she'll take it and I'm becoming paranoid that all therapists are just bad. I get the feeling that no therapist actually cares or likes their patient and it's making me judge and paranoid my current therapist when she's done nothing wrong.

 

[cat-lady]

In my experience therapists are just like anyone else in the world. There are good ones and bad ones, smart ones and stupid ones, well educated ones and ones in over their heads, etc. Don't let one or a few therapists define your experience with therapy as a whole. I have had to dump therapists before but I eventually found some really good ones. If you're trying to pick one out, Psychology Today has a really good online therapy directory. I'm not sure if you're in a location that their listings cover though. If you are I suggest having a look around it. You can search by insurance, specialty, education, certification, location, etc. I don't think that everyone on there is necessarily a good choice but they give you enough search features and options to find people who are good choices. Then again, if you decide that your current therapist is good and that these feeling have more to do with trust issues from the old therapist I really don't think that a good therapist would judge you negatively for that. If she is really good at what she does she will just be sympathetic about that and use the information to help you.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Hi Lex, welcome to the forum.

I'm really sorry to hear you've been through so much. The hospital was absolutely right to fire that so called therapist. She sounds like she is the unstable one and she probably has some serious issues herself. The way she treated you was completely unprofessional, not to mention un-called for.

I have personally had both good and bad therapists. I have talked to one that could only pour tea and talk in clichés, as well as one who did not listen to me and pretended to have fixed all my problems. But I've also had a very kind, supportive and smart therapist, who helped me overcome a lot of things.

Your mistrust towards your current therapist is very understandable, especially given your earlier experiences. But the therapist from your past was fired for a reason: she was bad at her job. I can't promise you your current therapist will fix everything and never say anything that hurts you, but I do know that there are some really good ones out there.

When your talking to your current therapist, do you feel safe? Do you feel understood, or like she's judging you? Try to separate past experiences from the present. How does she really make you feel?

If she's even a little bit good at her job, she'll gladly talk with you about your concerns and be willing to look for a solution together.

 

[ShodokanJenn]

Hi Lex.

Most therapists genuinely DO care, and they DO genuinely want to help. I think it would actually be helpful to you if you were to tell your current T about that therapist in high school. What she said to you is so very, very wrong.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Welcome to the forum!

My therapist not only is amazing and truely cares, I feel that if he were even a family friend (not being paid) he'd still help me.

He cares enough that though he doesnt give his cell number to his patients, he did once for a patient that was going to rehab to make sure he got there ok and was ok.

He also came in on christmas eve when the office was closed because he knew i needed to see him before christmas.

Also when my insurence had a hole for a few months he charged me half price and a few times didnt charge me at all so i could still see him every week.

He also has allowed me to stay later, unfair for his next patient but it was after a bad EMDR session to get me out of my flashback, make me realize he was him and not my step dad and get me to be half way ok again.

He def cares. Im so sorry about your HS therapist but I would encourage you to share this with your current therapist. Trust is huge when it comes to therapy and this would help them help you with trust and possibly with other stuff.

 

[driftaway]

I had a really wonderful therapist who wronged me know a big way. I'm still not sure if it was her fault or not (I don't have enough information). The point is, I identify with you about having trouble being open with a new therapist after getting burned. But in the end I have decided to make an effort to be honest with my T because I am in control of my treatment and I am able to fire her and get a new one. I hope this helps, hugs.

 

[Sideways]

Having travelled through both public and private mental health systems here, I've had my fair share of T's over the years and a couple of dodgey encounters, but NOTHING in comparison to what you've described and, perhaps more relevantly for you, they are so much in the minority.

My overall experience of T's is that they do their job because they do care and genuinely want to see you get better. If you can, I'd share this experience with your current T, because it will be important to them to understand where you're coming from and your (totally reasonable) apprehension about letting another T into your life.

 

[Justmehere]

That therpaist sounds awful. She doesn't sound qualified and many school therapists are not trained in PTSD or self injurious or sucidial behaviors. You were clearly reaching out for help and she dropped the ball in getting you connected to better help.

I have run into a couple of crappy therapists, but there are some amazing ones out there. It's worth the effort to find them.

They have helped me a lot.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@Lex. I want to
Let you know how saddened I am that you had such an asshole for a school therapists. Do not judge the world at large by the acts of anyone remotely involved in public education. Like the oedophiles in the Catholic Church that get away with crimes against humanity, so it is so with the educational system in at least this country, if not all. I say this for the utmost concern for your well being. My son, who is dyslexic, struggled terribly in school, despite my fight to get him the help he deserved. Year after year he was criticized, ignored, threatened and denied his basic human rights by evil, vile and expendable members of that system. I was only able to get one fired. However, many more got away with their crimes.

One person, though, stood up for him all the way to the Civil Rights commission. That was his therapist. He was steadfast in his support for my son, and accompanied me to many meetings with the school board never charging me a dime. And he was on the school payroll.

So, there are far more commited therapists than there are morons. I encourage you to tell your story to your present therapist. I don't think you can get to the level of trust with him/her required to move forward. You deserve that respect. Namaste, KYG

 

[deleted]

Hell yes (but only if you can find a good one, which is a very big if)

I've been through therapists who are amazing to therapists who re traumatized me. If you can find a therapist who really gets you and can help you in a professional yet caring way then you have hit the jackpot and that therapist will change your life and will be an invaluable asset. It's hard to find that therapist though, especially with hundreds of therapists on sites like Psychology Today that could turn out to be good or bad. Therapist shopping is one of the most frustrating things you will ever do but when you find the right one it will all be worth it.

Your therapist sounds like a bad one for sure. I recommend doing some looking around as soon as possible before she causes you any more strain and pain.

Good luck!

 

[lonelyone82]

I found one that was good. She was supportive, and didn't see me as being worse than her. It was uplifting, and I felt I could be myself. I have had more bad ones than good though. The last one I had re-traumatized me by being condescending, talking mostly about my PTSD, telling me I need more education to be better, suggestion books I have already read, and telling me my PTSD is out of control (it's not). She didn't listen or support me in any way. She was trying to fix and cure me with her idea that she had "arrived" and I should be more like her. I find I get better when I have someone on my side that doesn't see me as a disease, and is a down to earth human. I had to break up with the last therapist over e-mail because the last session I left so upset I couldn't sleep that night. I hope I can find another one that will be more of a listener than the big boss. It's hard to do in a world where everyone wants to be the best.

 

[ShodokanJenn]

My therapist is definitely good. He cares, very much. He listens, very well. He gives suggestions, very practically. I've never once felt judged by him, or trapped, or in danger of being abandoned by him. Don't give up - the good ones are out there.