I have come to learn that being kind to yourself isn't so much about behaviour, but about attitude. I think it's actually easy to push yourself very hard in terms of stepping outside of the comfort zone and "doing" more than you feel you can, as long as the messages you create and send to yourself are supportive and realistic, rather than judgmental and condemning. Similarly, I believe it's easy to punish and constrain yourself significantly even while apparently taking care not to challenge fears or anxieties. If we're talking kindly to ourselves, the "doing" stuff becomes doable, whereas the opposite is true if we continue to be cruel and non-accepting of our situation.
I'm learning this one the long slow way. Had no idea the extent of my negative and self-defeating thinking until T began to pull me up on every word and fight me tooth and nail about it. Makes me want to throw things at him and perform other acts of displaced frustration, but only cos he's right, and only cos it's harder to change internalised negative thoughts and beliefs about oneself than I ever thought was possible.
Maddog
I'm learning this one the long slow way. Had no idea the extent of my negative and self-defeating thinking until T began to pull me up on every word and fight me tooth and nail about it. Makes me want to throw things at him and perform other acts of displaced frustration, but only cos he's right, and only cos it's harder to change internalised negative thoughts and beliefs about oneself than I ever thought was possible.
Maddog