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Deleted member 34328
I think most of what's been said rings true. It's very hard for me to ask for help. Most of the time I hide rather than admit I need support. I'm so used to being 3 people all the time... real me, then parent, then spouse. The real me just has to be put aside. I don't want to be so transparent. Most of the time I think people see what they want to see.
I agree completely. Ask yourself what would you do for someone in a genuine needy condition...then see if it applies to you.
I have 1 friend that I get on the phone and call for real help. When she knows I need help but don't know what, she takes over.
The rest of the time, I guess I do often try to think of what can I say that would make the other person feel helpful. Those end up being the practical things. Bring over frozen dishes. One less thing you have to do when you come home from the hospital or simply have no energy to either cook or clean up.
Other well meaning people are happy just have you smile and thank them for their offer. Let them know you appreciate their willingness to help.
There's also nothing wrong with telling a trusted person that you do need help but don't know what.
It is very hard to let down your guard and allow vulnerability show through. We spend so much time making a huge effort to keep our feelings and responses hidden.
I agree completely. Ask yourself what would you do for someone in a genuine needy condition...then see if it applies to you.
I have 1 friend that I get on the phone and call for real help. When she knows I need help but don't know what, she takes over.
The rest of the time, I guess I do often try to think of what can I say that would make the other person feel helpful. Those end up being the practical things. Bring over frozen dishes. One less thing you have to do when you come home from the hospital or simply have no energy to either cook or clean up.
Other well meaning people are happy just have you smile and thank them for their offer. Let them know you appreciate their willingness to help.
There's also nothing wrong with telling a trusted person that you do need help but don't know what.
It is very hard to let down your guard and allow vulnerability show through. We spend so much time making a huge effort to keep our feelings and responses hidden.
